Beneath the Script
by IndigoXsoul
Summary: She was an actress, she was paid to act like she was in love with someone, and it was easy. It was easy until the fables of fiction became an all-too-confusing reality.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Doctor Who, or the actors...Matt and Alex and everybody else own themselves. I don't mean to offend anybody with this. I'm allowed to dream, right?

**A/N: **(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) This is my first EVER RPF, and honestly I'm not sure if I'm doing it right (or even if there is a right way to do it). I personally believe that Matt and Alex are ridiculously cute together and they really, really deserve each other. While I will be diving into their personalities, pasts, and motives quite deeply and exploring them as people in this fic, I highly doubt any of this really reflects the real Matt and Alex, I suppose you can decide that for yourselves. Please enjoy, leave a review, and I'll be looking forward to seeing you all soon!

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**Beneath the Script**

**1**

****Curtains Up

The first time he held her hand, it wasn't as him. The entire scene had been completely contrived, a myth of a plotline, the acting out of a writer's fantasy to a spell-bound audience, nothing more. Alex Kingston was no stranger to these kinds of false affectionate touches. She was an actress, she was paid to act like she was in love with someone, and it was easy. It was easy until the fables of fiction became an all-too-confusing reality.

She had a crush on Matt Smith.

The trouble was she didn't want to. It was stupid, honestly. And Alex was getting far too old and learning that her treacherous heart couldn't possibly handle one more of _those_. She was forty-one, divorced once and separated. She had a daughter to think about. Matt had a girlfriend and he was most definitely not going to return Alex's feelings, so it was best to just stop this right where it was and simply stop having a ridiculous 'flowers-floating-around-her-head' crush like a demented schoolgirl.

Only it wasn't that easy.

Wafting in from her left, there came the bitter fragrance of roasting coffee and the slightly sweeter scent of tea. She scrubbed at her face, folded up the script that she realized she'd been staring idly at for over half-an-hour, and stood up to get herself something to wake her up.

The lounge was humming with good-natured activity as Alex walked over to the kettle to make herself a cup of tea. Karen was laughing about something with Arthur, crewmen and the director were running about, makeup artists were escaping the mayhem of an early-morning set, and _he_ was there. Just her luck.

She took a deep breath. Don't make it awkward, it's only awkward if you make it awkward. Alex put a smile on her face and took the heating kettle and her favorite mug, pouring in the hot water slowly and silently begging him not to come over and start a conversation. Not yet, anyway. She'd be more than happy to talk when they had something work-related to distract her. Right now, right now it was too early in the day, and her mind was simply too confused and focused on him.

"Morning, Alex!"

Her eyes closed and Alex refrained from hitting her head on the wall. Just her luck, indeed! She turned to see him looking at her with that daft lopsided grin, holding a cup of coffee, and dressed in his trademark jeans and blue v-neck T-Shirt.

"Good morning, Matt, did you have a good night?" She replied back, attempting to be amiable and to stop biting her lip whenever his eyes locked with hers.

He scratched his head in that adorably thoughtful habit of his, avoiding eye contact for a record of around thirty-seven seconds. "Yeah. You?"

She took a deep breath as his eyes finally made contact with hers. He so genuinely seemed to care about her, just the way that face of his was quirked in a wonderfully interested look. She cracked a smile and shrugged, her gaze flitting up the ceiling. "Oh, I suppose so. Slept well."

She'd only met Matt a week ago. They'd been shooting their first episode together for a while now, and it was getting more and more awkward as she realized just how stupidly crazy she was for him. It was a phase, of course. What woman in their right mind _wouldn't_ fall for the lovable, awkward, sweet, flirtatious Matt Smith? He practically had every girl in the UK (minus the die-hard Tennant fans) hanging off his arm!

"Alex, Matt! Jenna and Abby want you now!"

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. She was saved by the makeup artists from having to make conversation with him. It wasn't that Alex was a shy person - she was quite out-going and flirtatious, really. It was impossible to be shy when one was an actress. It was just that when it came down to it, she shut down when she felt herself getting even the slightest crush. She didn't want to let herself go there. Honestly, she couldn't blame herself. She'd had her heart broken so many times she'd stopped keeping track.

Karen was standing by the door waving at them frantically, "Hurry up!" she was dressed in her costume, her makeup and hair done, the baggy red sweater-shirt hung around her tall frame as she gestured imperatively toward the door as if Matt were her well trained dog. Alex had observed the friendship between these two for quite some time, and it seemed like Karen and Matt (along with Arthur) were the three musketeers or something and she was just that actor who played the side-character that only showed up every so often. They were all nice and friendly to her of course, and they had their moments of hilarity and meaningfulness, but beings how it'd been a week, Alex hadn't really made any close friends on set, nor was she expecting to in such a short time. She was often stuck in her own little corner going over the script whilst the three were joking about something random.

Alex followed Matt into the hair and makeup room, sitting down in one chair in front of the cluttered workspace as he did the other. Jenna set to work putting massive amounts of gel in his hair to get his bangs to a Doctor-ly height, and Abby grabbed a comb and some hairspray and began teasing Alex's. She made a bit of a face whenever the stylist pulled, she wasn't really fond of the hair-teasing, it was a pain to wash her hair afterword and get her curls to co-operate, but if it was what the Director and Moffat and the stylists wanted…she was supposed to go along with it. At least until she knew them well enough to protest.

She thought back, trying to remember when, exactly, the crush had begun. It probably had something to do with that ridiculous scene where she'd had to land on top of him repeatedly. God, how many outtakes were there going to be of her falling on top of him, kneeing him in the goolies, and the resulting awkward laughter afterward? Seriously, she had to practically throw herself at him, and while any girl in the UK would be happy to do that to Matt Smith, her included, it was a little awkward when she found herself trying to shake off the feelings the incident was arousing. Yes…arousing was definitely the word for it.

She blushed.

Shifting in her seat, she vaguely heard Abby complain and mumbled an apology before flushing a deep shade of pink again and feeling grateful that her stylist had tilted her head forward so she could avoid Matt's enquiring gaze.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly.

She chuckled, "Yes!" Maybe that was a little too quick of a reply…"I'm fine." She looked up at him when Abby was finished with her hair. "Just…thinking of something Salome said last night, kids say the oddest things." She said with a half laugh.

Matt laughed as well, "Oh." He replied quietly. Apparently he wasn't the only one who felt awkward during their conversations.

Matt had to admit. He felt a bit like a fish out of water when it came to Alex Kingston. She'd been in so many American shows, a good many of which he hadn't seen until he'd been able to move out of his house and _not_ have his mother staring over his shoulder at the resulting…well… yeah. And now that she was sitting right next to him, sometimes when the resulting movie/show images that had been burned into his mind popped up, he couldn't help but go speechless and have his mouth run dry and scratch his cheek until he successfully steered his mind _away_ from her body. How long was it going to take to get over that?

Not to mention, she was so damn quiet around him. She wasn't like that with anybody else, so what did it mean? From what he'd heard, the woman had a great sense of humor, an amazing, bubbly personality, and absolutely no problem with being loud. He had to admit she'd been an incredibly good sport with all of that…falling…at the beginning of the week, considering it had been his idea and they'd only just met. He honestly didn't know what the hell had been going through his head when he'd gotten the idea for Alex/River to fall on top of him/the Doctor…honestly? Seriously, Matt? _Seriously_? Why don't you just raise your bloody hand and gesture awkwardly with your bloody pen and suggest that Alex bloody _Kingston_ fall right on top of you? What was _wrong_ with him? He was pretty sure that after the whole "knee-going-where-the-sun-don't-shine" incident she hadn't looked at him the same way since. He felt himself growing warm, and quickly started to haphazardly throw all of those thoughts into the overstuffed and rather disorganized drawers of his brain. He was mental, honestly, and completely mental!

"Matt, hold still." Chided his makeup artist with an amused chuckle… oh, when had they moved on to makeup?

"Sorry." He pulled his face into an overly stony-still look, and he could catch Alex cracking a smile out of the corner of his eye. He had to admit, that was one of the things he found nice about her, her smile. It was so bright and warm, it came in so many forms. There was that flirtatious lopsided smirk, the warm, happy smile, the bemused grin she wore right now. Since when had he started paying attention to her smile? Mental. Yeah…obviously very mental.

They were filming one of the last scenes of the episode today, and when the makeup artists had finished and Matt and Alex were in costume, they hopped in the car and were promptly driven on-location. The stony ground was interesting to work in, and he was glad Alex had never actually had to wear her heels for this shoot…she'd mainly been carrying them around before she changed into the army-boots. He checked over the script one more time to make sure he had everything right before walking on set to where Alex was standing, handcuffs dangling from her wrist and holding the prop-vortex manipulator.

He stood next to her, hands behind his back. Karen flounced up to them, her ginger-hair bouncing.

"So, who is, River…really?" She asked suddenly.

Matt blinked, "Random, much, Kaz?"

Karen chuckled and shrugged, "Well, y'know…Amy did kinda tease the Doctor about her being his wife…" She did that terrible half-sultry, half-army sergeant voice, "_Heel boy_ and whatnot."

Matt coughed and Alex laughed, quirking an eyebrow, "Well maybe that's just a red herring that Steven decided to throw in." She suggested, a smug look on her face.

Karen slapped her playfully on the arm, "Oh shut up, Alex Kingston! Not fair that Steven told you! C'mon…just a hint? I'll buy you tea for a year!" She pleaded.

"Sorry Sweetie," Alex teased, mimicking her character with a wink. "Spoilers."

The ginger huffed, and Matt grinned, "And tea for a year, seriously, Kaz? I would think that it'd have to be _at least _tea for six years."

"Seven." Alex contradicted with a smirk.

"Seven?" Karen cried, her eyebrows flying to the top of her head as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Seven." The older woman repeated. She laughed at Karen's obvious disapproval, Matt's low chuckle quickly followed.

"Oi, stop ganging up on me. It's not fair." Karen pouted.

Laughing, Matt enveloped Karen in a strangely effeminate hug, legs flailing in the way his arms usually did, "We love you, Kaz!"

The redhead only huffed, shifting from side to side as Matt kept his hold on her, rocking back and forth clumsily. The odd movement only caused Karen to finally stop pouting and laugh at the awkwardness.

"Alright! Scene 40, take one! Matt, Karen, get into your places!" Came the commanding voice of their director. Matt let go of Karen so she could walk off a way, and Alex snapped the other end of the handcuff on her wrist. "3…2…1…Action!"

The scene progressed, and they conversation between River and the Doctor at the end of the "Crash of the Byzantium" ensued. Alex found herself easing into the role, feeling quite comfortable as she let her acting instincts and knowledge of the script take over.

"You'll see me again," She said with a smile, fully into her role of River Song by now, "When the Pandorica opens."

Matt looked to the side, laughing bemusedly as if she'd just said 'diddlywonkadodadeebeepbop' "Pandorica…" He leaned forward, and Alex's heart-rate sped up, that…that wasn't in the script! What was he doing? A shiver ran down her spine as his breath tickled her ear. "The Pandorica's a myth."

Alex collected herself enough to manage a chuckle as well, thinking to herself that River, at this point, would feel perfectly okay with that gesture. "Doctor…" She said with a sly grin, "Aren't we all?"

Matt stepped back from her, and a few sound-effects were played in the background as she 'vortexed' away.

"Cut!"

Steven ran forward, clapping Matt on the back. "That was brilliant! You always come up with the best alterations to the script!"

Matt laughed, scratching his cheek and avoiding eye-contact with Steven's excited face. "Yeah…I guess it felt kinda natural, like it should be there." He said awkwardly, glancing at Alex.

"Positively brilliant, I tell you!" The writer exclaimed again before whipping out his clipboard and making alterations to the script, "Why didn't I think of that?"

They ran the scene a few more times and then it was time for a short break. Matt shoved his hands in his trouser pockets, trying to figure out where the heck that had come from. Yes, it had felt like the Doctor would lean forward and whisper in River's ear, they were flirty enough already together…this Doctor was quite…flirty. He tried to convince himself that it was merely a bit of fantastic acting, like Moffat thought. Matt hoped that's what everybody else thought of it as well. His heart was finally starting to return to a normal rhythm after being so close to Alex in such a…a…_weird_ way. She was gorgeous, he had to admit that, and that was probably the only reason he felt so awkward around her. She was way out of his league and he'd never even have a chance of getting her, even if he _had_ real feelings. Which, he didn't.

When he got over to his chair and attempted to bury his nose in his script and look busy, Karen sauntered over to him, a smug look on his face. She looked from him to Alex, who was still back over on the set talking with the director, and back again.

"Natural, hmm?"

"Shut up, Kaz."

X X X

After waving goodbye to Matt, Karen, and Arthur, Alex drove home to her flat. The commute was quick, which was to be expected, it was nearly eight and nobody would be out driving by now. Since it was the summer, Salome, her 11-year-old, had joined her in Wales instead of staying with her father in New York. That meant Alex was staying in a flat, rather than in a trailer on location. While she loved to be able to not be confined to a stuffy, messy, living-out-of-a-suitcase trailer, it only served to widen the rift between her and the other actors, making her feel more left out than usual. Especially when Matt and Karen teased Arthur about late-night jam-sessions or some prank and all three were set off into peals of laughter. It was just awkward when one was left out of a joke.

Not that she was complaining, she reminded herself as she pulled out her key and opened the door to their rather large, but homey, flat. This meant more time to spend with Salome, and that was something they both could use.

She was immediately hit with the whirlwind of force that could be called her daughter. "Mum! You're home! What did you film today? Did you see Matt Smith and Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill? Are they cool? Does Matt's hair always look like that?"

Alex laughed, kneeling down to her daughter's height and brushing a brown curl or two from her daughter's wide brown eyes. "Yes, yes, and you can ask him that sometime, I'm sure, because I don't really know. It looks like that when I _see_ him, but that's because Jenna fixes it that way." She said with a grin. She looked up toward their nanny, Cailen, a tall, boisterous brunette who could actually keep up with her daughter, and gave her a bright smile, "Thanks so much for watching Salome for me!"

"Yeah, no problem." Cailen smiled back at her, "Perfect little angel that one is."

Alex chuckled ruefully, "Uh, uh. You behave for her but not for me? I see how it is!" She teased Salome.

Salome grinned up at her mum impishly, "You're my mum. I'm not supposed to behave all the time for you."

Alex laughed, "Oh hush, how about you go pop the kettle on and come back and see what Rich gave me to give to you?" Rich was the prop designer for the set, and Salome tended to be spoiled by the prop designer, costume director, and most of all by Karen and Steven.

"Okay!"

"Bye, girls! Don't burn the house down while I'm gone!" Cailen called after them on her way out.

Alex hung up her coat and bag, taking out the item from Rich, "Ha! Who put you in charge?"

"_You_." Salome yelled from the kitchen.

Her mum held up her hands in defeat and chuckled, shaking her head. "I stand corrected. Bye Cailen!"

"Bye! See you Monday, yeah?" She asked quickly, fumbling for her keys in her purse.

"Actually, I won't need you on Monday, I'm taking Salome with me to the set." Alex sat on the couch, cringing when she heard her daughter's excited squeal from the kitchen coupled with the kettle screaming on the stove.

Cailen laughed, "Have fun with that! Tuesday, then."

"Tuesday." Alex confirmed, nodding.

When Cailen had left, Salome came over with two cups of tea, handing one to Alex before setting the other on the side-table and tucking both of her knees under her. She leaned forward expectantly, "So, what is it?"

Alex laughed, putting a hand over Salome's, "Patience is a virtue, one which you don't have." Her daughter huffed, causing the corners of Alex's mouth to twitch bemusedly as she handed her the package. It was book-shaped, and Salome smiled at that. She loved to read, and this had to be something interesting…though normally Stevie, as she called Moffat, was the one who got her the books.

She tore off the paper and squealed when the TARDIS-blue cover came into view. Her voice jumped about six octaves, "He got me River's journal!" A slightly lopsided and incredibly excited grin lit up her face as she held out the paneled journal.

Alex took it, thumbing through the empty pages, looking up at her daughter's face as she gave the book back. Seriously, the people that worked on Who were amazing, they always found ways to make Salome's day. She'd wanted that journal ever since Alex started working on the show back in _Silence in the Library_.

"It's not the one you use, though." Salome said with slight disappointment, "It's too new looking."

Ruffling her daughter's hair gently, Alex laughed, "Well of course not, you can't _have_ the one I use, darling…then I wouldn't be able to use it on the show."

Salome pouted, but Alex could see the amusement in her daughter's eyes, "They could make you another one." She shot back for argument's sake.

Shaking her head, Alex took the book again and set it on the couch, giving Salome a push in the general direction of the shower, "Go take your shower, missy." Alex said, effectively ending their little banter.

Salome gave her an angelic smile, the kind that Alex employed when playing a dangerous River, and walked off to the bathroom. Despite her matured-beyond-her-age use of sarcasm, her ability to make an argument, and a sense of humor to match Alex's, she thankfully wasn't yet in that _yeahwellyou'remymumandsoIhateyouandyou'reneveraroundandsoIdon'thavetolistentoyou_ stage that Alex knew, regrettably, might come soon enough. Hopefully, their relationship would be good enough that Salome wouldn't hit that. They'd been through a lot together, the Kingston girls. Even though her daughter was mature far beyond her years (11 going on 30, Alex always said), and likely to hit the rebellious teenager stage way before she hit thirteen, Alex hoped she'd be one of those few kids that never did. Of course, with Alex's luck, Salome probably _would_, and early too. The Universe seemed to work that way.

She sighed as she got up to reheat her tea, realizing she hadn't taken one sip since Salome had given it to her. The water was running in the bathroom, and as she looked at the clock…it'd been five or ten minutes since Alex had sent Salome off. Oi, she really needed to stop getting lost in her thoughts. This was getting ridiculous. First with the script this morning, then in the makeup room, now with the tea, Alex swore she was losing her mind. She used to be far better at occupying herself. She decided to blame Matt for that. Or rather, her ridiculous _crush_ on Matt. Really, _really_, Alex? That whole incident while filming had only served to make her feelings for him skyrocket. If she had been younger, maybe a bit less talented at hiding her emotions she'd be humming right now. It was just…he'd been so _close_. She could've turned her head just slightly and _kissed him._

She mentally smacked herself. No, no…NO. We're not going there! No! No…no kissing, no _thinking_ about kissing, no _wishing_ about kissing. Kissing is off-limits. Oi, and now she was talking to herself, using the exact same wording and tone she'd used when Salome had come home announcing she wanted to snog the boy at school she liked. Alex let out a sigh of frustration and pounded her head on the refrigerator door lightly.

This was not a good sign.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) And we're back with an update on our favorite couple! Honestly, this is incredibly fast updating for me, so don't get used to it! I'm having quite a bit of fun writing this though, so I hope you all enjoy it! Happy reading, and please don't forget to leave a review when you're done. :)

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2

**A Fine, Fine Line**

Matt sat alone in his trailer that night, opening a gooey rendition of what was supposed to be lasagna. Sometimes he honestly couldn't tell. He was pretty sure it was still slightly frozen in the middle, but the outside of it was covered in lava-boiling-hot sauce, so he decided he should take it out of the microwave. It wasn't anything like what his mum made, but it was as close as he'd get. He was just about to take his plastic fork and dig in when his phone rang.

He heaved a great sigh and picked it up. It was Daisy. A stupid smile spread across his face and he answered it. "Hey, love. What's up?"

"Hey! Just wanted to ask how the filming went today!"

Matt's thoughts immediately switched to Alex. To that moment when his daft, gangly limbs had moved on their own accord and he'd found himself whispering in her ear, one stray curl just tickling his cheek, her scent of vanilla and peonies and…and just Alex filling his senses.

"Matt?"

He blinked and then shifted in his chair uncomfortably, clearing his throat. "What? Oh! It was great. Went great. Lovely, Yeah." His voice cracked a little, and he winced and scratched his cheek, feeling himself flush from his hairline to his shirt collar. Thoughts scrambling, he finally asked, "How was the- the picture thing?"

Daisy's breathy laugh puffed through the phone, "Oh, it was fun, I suppose. I got to keep the outfits!"

He blinked. He always felt a bit incompetent when it came to talking to his girlfriend. Yeah, he was an actor. A damn famous one at that…but she was a model, and she was a bit more coordinated, less socially-awkward, and was absolutely smashing to look at - quite unlike himself. "That's nice. Hey, do you want to go out for coffee or something tomorrow? I'm free."

He could practically hear her excited smile through the phone, causing a grin to spread across his face as well. Daisy sounded quite happy at his proposal. "I'd love to! Want to go at 8?"

"Sure, I'll pick you up." He replied, still smiling brightly into the phone.

"Fantastic! I'll see you then, Matt! I gotta go, Love you!"

"Love you too, bye."

The other end of the line clicked. She was always the first to hang up. He set the phone back down and took a bite of the lasagna, making a face. It'd gone lukewarm. He sighed as he stared at the other end of the table. Empty. The whole trailer felt empty. Heck…sometimes he felt empty, but he wouldn't admit it. That was just a bit too deep and sentimental for his liking, even if he was quite sentimental and deep by nature…he'd never admit to it. Karen and Arthur were care free. Daisy didn't care for those types of conversations. She was too worried that if they started having those their relationship would get serious too. Matt kept staring at the empty chair in front of him, fork idly stabbing at the microwave-meal.

When they'd originally gotten together, Matt had been perfectly okay with their line - the unspoken line that neither of them would ever cross - the line that marked the difference between sweet comfort fling and seriousness. Now, Matt was beginning to think he wouldn't mind a serious relationship. Maybe he was even ready. He was just too scared to talk about it with Daisy. He didn't want to ruin their relationship. He wasn't ready to be out on his own…looking again. Despite his social-awkwardness, Matt was a relationships kind of guy, and maybe that was weak, maybe it was stupid, maybe he shouldn't be. But he was.

Matt realized he really wasn't that hungry and got up and tossed the lasagna in the bin. He rubbed at his face, picked up his phone, set the alarm for early the next morning so he could pick Daisy up in time and tugged his shirt up over his head and changed into some pajama pants. He flopped down on his too-large bed, grabbed the remote, and turned on the TV.

Blindly, he watched the nightly-news, letting his mind go numb and wander. A face flew across his thoughts, a halo of golden curls, a pair of dynamic eyes. He was trying to forget the feelings that the incomparable Alex Kingston surfaced. It wasn't like he'd never been attracted to another girl while being with Daisy. It was just that…Alex wasn't just another girl.

She was beautiful, beautiful and funny, and even if he didn't know her that well, he had to admit that he liked her. She had an incredibly sexy grace about her in the way that she carried herself. She also, unfortunately for him, had everything going on that a young man such as himself was programmed to be attracted to. He often forgot that she was nearly twenty years his senior - which was why she was completely and totally off-limits, among other reasons.

Also unfortunately for him, he didn't really have a choice in seeing her every day. They'd be working together all week, and not only that, they'd be throwing themselves at each other all week. It might even lead to kissing.

He tried to push down the jolt that rammed through his body at that thought.

His arms flailed for all of two seconds until he began smacking his forehead repeatedly in an effort to banish those thoughts from his head. He shouldn't even be thinking about her, anyway! He had a girlfriend, a hot girlfriend. Daisy was…she was wonderful. She put up with him. She understood him in ways nobody else did because he'd showed her that strange romantic side of him that he didn't let anybody else see.

Matt realized that there were boundaries, even within a non-serious relationship. No talking about marriage, for one. They'd established that one a long time ago. No talking about the future, kids, etc. But there were other types of rules too…like no cheating.

He wouldn't necessarily classify thinking about Alex as cheating, but Matt knew if he wasn't careful…it might end up that way, and he didn't want that. Alex and him were just co-workers, nothing more. There was a line with Alex, too.

X X X

That morning, with newly-gelled hair, a white shirt and a leather jacket, Matt tucked his sunglasses into his shirt collar and stepped out of his dark blue car. He walked around to the other side and opened the door for Daisy. She smiled up at him, stepping out onto the pavement and linking her arm with his, white heels clicking on the side-walk as they walked into the coffee shop. The warm red walls greeted them with faces of old photos, the light glancing off of their polished frames as the pair walked up to the counter. The young man with blonde, spiked hair and a black apron smiled at them cheerily, "What can I get you two on this fine morning?"

Matt smiled at him, handing the kid his card to swipe, "One medium coffee, two shots, and a no-whip, soy, pumpkin-spice latte with an extra pump."

He also picked up a muffin for each of them, he wasn't really hungry, but Daisy didn't like to share he knew she felt awkward eating alone. When their drinks arrived, they sat down in a cozy corner and Matt handed Daisy her latte while he took a sip of his coffee.

"It never ceases to amaze me how you know my coffee order. I never told you or anything…I think it's incredibly sweet, Matt." Daisy commented, smiling at him and gingerly pulling a piece off of her blueberry muffin and popping it into her mouth.

He chuckled softly, lifting the top off of his cup and setting it aside so he could drink without it in his way. "I try."

She twisted a strand of hair around her finger, a nervous habit, he'd noticed. "So. Are you going to ask me how I feel about the whole you and Alex Kingston thing?"

Matt half choked on his coffee. "What?"

"You know…the whole…you and Alex Kingston thing. I saw the spoiler pictures with you falling all over her."

Matt flushed and stared down at his drink. "There's nothing between us, if that's what you're wondering."

"Then why are you blushing, Matt?"

"I'm not cheating on you, Daze, I thought you knew me better than that." He felt slightly hurt. Yes, he'd had thoughts…but a guy was entitled to his own thoughts, after all.

"I never insinuated you were, I was just hoping that you'd consider my feelings in the matter."

"You're over the line." He said, shifting in his seat.

"Am I?"

"If you're feeling possessive of me, then yes, you are." Matt still didn't meet her eye.

She sighed, "I'm sorry. I just…"

He held up a hand and waved it off dismissively before laying it over Daisy's. "It's fine. I suppose it's only natural." He reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear affectionately, smiling at her. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it, I know you like things to be open."

She smiled back, "It's all good, then." She said softly, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his. He stole a quick kiss, his senses honing in on Daisy's taste, lip-balm and pumpkin latte and tic-tacs. Odd, but not unlikeable.

They pulled back and sat in silence for a short while, both sipping on their drinks in contentment. Daisy launched into a conversation about the clothes she'd gotten from the shoot yesterday, and Matt listened with half an ear. Half the time he had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

Then, another sound rose above Daisy's high-pitched voice: a warm, honeyed tone that Matt instantly recognized. Alex.

His eyes flicked just past Daisy's head and focused on her. Gaze dragging up from the back of her sea-green shirt, up her lightly-tanned neck, and finally resting on the mass of glorious curls that had been painstakingly gathered into a bun, he idly wondered how long it had taken her to do that. She was ordering her coffee to-go. Matt's ears, now attentive, caught her order wafting toward him over the hum of the coffee shop: a tall, non-fat, chocolate-raspberry mocha with whip…an excellent choice. A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.

Vaguely, he thought he should be focusing on whatever Daisy was talking to him about, but somehow…he couldn't pull his eyes off of Alex.

He felt himself coiling as a man walked up to her. He was big, muscular, attractive to a degree. Her age, Matt guessed by the slight silvering of the tips of his dark-colored hair. He grinned at her, his body squaring up towards her form, and Matt was instantly wary of him. Alex smiled politely at him, he seemed to be asking her a question, probably if she was single. Alex nodded, her gaze shifting to the floor and chuckling slightly. Matt's fingers fisted tightly as the man's look at her intensified and his grin widened. He said something cheeky and asked her another question, his chest puffing out slightly. She shook her head, politely telling him no. The man reached forward and brushed one loose curl out of her face, smiling at her. At that, Matt found himself suppressing a growl. He was about to get up and do something he'd probably regret when the guy deflated and walked away. Slowly, Matt let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and blinked, realizing his feelings.

Since when did he feel possessive of Alex Kingston?

"Matt? Matt! Earth to Matt, Earth to Matt!"

He jumped slightly when fingers snapped in his face, and his eyes refocused on Daisy in front of him. She was looking at him in concern, "Where'd you go?"

"I- uh-um…I…sorry." Matt blinked rapidly a few more times, forcing himself not to follow Alex with his eyes as she walked out of the coffee shop with her drink. He scratched his cheek and smiled at Daisy, "What were you saying, Daze?"

He'd felt possessive of Alex Kingston…Oh god… this was so far over the line, it wasn't even funny.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: (feel free to skip my useless** **rambling) **I'm back! Thank-you SO much to all of my lovely reviewers, Tomorrownevercame, The-Doctors-Song, and CitizenofWhoville. You all are brilliant! Your reviews make my day. I apologize if this seems a little short, but it was longer in my head and somehow ended up as this. O.o I suppose that's what I get for writing relatively late-at-night on a school-night. Anyway! I hope you all enjoy this update on how things are progressing over in the land of Mattex in the provinces of Smith and Kingston! Please take the time to leave a review, I grin stupidly when I receive them. (Okay, maybe that's not the best reason to give...but still leave a review, even if I creep you out?)

3

**I Dub Thee Salamander** **of Kingston**

"Mum! Mum! Mummy! C'mon, get up!"

Alex felt her arm being pulled from its blanketed cocoon, and she groaned and rolled over. "Five more minutes, love…I'll be right there." Her eyes fluttered open and slowly focused on her daughter's excited face. Was it Monday already? She gently swatted her daughter's hand away and receded back into her cozy, warm covers.

Salome huffed and picked up an extra pillow and thumped it lightly on her mum's back. "We're going to be late!"

"Five more minutes isn't going to make us late, darling. Go eat breakfast." Alex mumbled, barely phased by the thump of the soft material.

"You're going to go back to sleep." Salome said, crossing her arms over her chest and sighing.

"N'm'not. Go eat breakfast." She repeated.

"Fine, you've brought this on yourself," came the sing-songy warning. Alex opened one eye experimentally and wondered what on earth her daughter meant by that.

The shock of ice-cold wetness slipping down her back answered her. Alex shot up in bed, eyes widening and she gasped, "Fu…zzies!" She stopped herself from saying anything she'd regret in front of Salome and took deep breaths, fishing the ice-cube from the back of her shirt and grimacing.

Salome raised an eyebrow. "That's a new one."

"You're paying for that later." Alex said, depositing the ice-cube into Salome's hands and giving her a glare.

"It was worth it." She grinned sweetly at her mum, avoiding a gentle smack as she walked off to the kitchen.

Alex shook her head, laughing quietly before she got up and headed to the shower. She turned on the water to a warm temperature, never hot, and peeled off her clothes and slipped in.

Ten minutes later, she was enveloped by steam and the smell of vanilla and peonies as she stepped out dried off, and got dressed again. She took a deep breath and walked out, checking her watch. It was high time they left for the set. She grabbed some toast and her daughter's hand, and walked out to the car.

When they arrived and the car was parked, Alex was just getting out when Matt crossed the parking-lot in an orange T-Shirt and jeans, hair flopping because it wasn't gelled yet but still sticking up the way it did in the show. Salome squealed, unbuckled her seatbelt, scrambled out of the car, and ran up to him.

"Your hair really does always look like that!" She exclaimed in wonder, staring up at the gangly, giraffe-like man that dwarfed her small 11-year-old form.

Matt blinked, wondering who in the world she was. "Yeah…I mean…except when it's wet, but normally it does pretty much this." He gestured to his bangs awkwardly and looked around. "Where's your mum?" He asked. Who was her mum? How the hell had she even gotten here?

Alex walked up just as he was saying that, "Right here. Good morning, Matt." She took Salome's hand and gave her a reprimanding look. She knew better than to just run off!

Matt's mouth gaped like a fish for a few minutes. "Oh. I…so this is Salome, I take it?"

Alex laughed softly, and Matt realized he really did like the sound of it, her laugh. It was so bubbly and half-uncertain, but still free and beautiful. Quite beautiful. Just like the rest of her. He refocused as she nodded, "Yeah, this is Salome."

"You're Matt Smith." Salome stated, staring up at him, her nose wrinkling much the way Alex's did sometimes.

Matt nodded, laughing a little. "That would be me."

"You look like a Llama… or those monkeys with really long arms." She said with the same matter-of-fact tone.

Alex looked absolutely mortified, and she buried her face in her hands. "Salome!"

"What? He does!"

"Just…come on, I need to get my makeup and hair done." She tugged Salome in the direction of the set, glancing back at Matt apologetically. "I am so sorry Matt-" God, things were already awkward between them without Salome lending a hand!

He chuckled, shaking his head, "No, it's fine. She does say the funniest things, doesn't she?"

Alex laughed and shook her head, still looking pretty horrified at her daughter's absolute lack of tact. Salome was still rattling on. "- or maybe a giraffe, because his legs are really long too… Llama's legs aren't very long, are they, mum?"

"No, not really." She said shaking her head and glancing up at Matt bemusedly. She walked in and sat Salome down in one of the chairs. "Do you think you can behave for a bit while I go and get in-costume?"

Her daughter nodded very seriously. "Yes."

Karen popped in, "I can watch her for you!" She was already in costume, as usual. "Why are you and Matt always the last ones in hair and makeup?" She exclaimed, sipping on a cup of tea.

"Why are you always first?" Alex countered, smiling.

"Point taken, now shoo." She sat down next to Salome and gestured that Alex should go off. There were just a few more scenes of the Crash of the Byzantium episodes left to film, today would probably end up being the last day, then they would move on to another episode. Alex watched Matt as he walked over to his chair, reached down, and picked up a cup of coffee and nursed it as they waited for Moffat to get there with his pile of scripts and his laptop. Salome escaped Karen's grasp and walked up to Matt, resting her head in her hands and staring up at him.

"Your hair sticks up more now."

"That's because my stylist made it." He said, staring right back at her and wondering if Alex had had the same way of saying things so matter-of-factly at that age.

"Why don't you have any eyebrows?" She asked suddenly.

Alex wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Matt blinked and sputtered on his coffee. "I have eyebrows!"

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Getting into arguments with 11 year-olds now are we, Smith?" Steven said as he breezed by the by now gaping thirty-year-old.

"She started it!" Matt said, pointed to Salome.

Salome quirked an eyebrow and deadpanned, "That was mature."

"You are eleven." Matt said, gesturing to her, astounded by her ability to utterly flabbergast him every time she spoke. Rather like Alex.

"And you're thirty, your point?"

"Alright, Salome. How about you go and talk to Karen for a bit, hm?" Alex said, raising an eyebrow much like Salome had just done. She had the feeling that the conversation between Matt and her daughter would only get more embarrassing for her.

"But I like talking to Matty!"

Matt grinned, "Matty? I get to be Matty?"

Salome nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course you're Matty!"

"No he's not, Salome, you can't call him Matty!" Alex exclaimed. She would probably shrivel up and die if her daughter walked around calling Matt that.

"But I like Matty!" Matt actually whined, "Please can I be Matty, Alex?"

"No!" Alex said, shaking her head.

"Why not? It's my name!"

"Can't argue with him there, mum."

"Please?" They both said at the exact same time, throwing Alex identical puppy-dog faces.

Alex's head fell forward into her hands and she sighed. "FINE."

"Brilliant!" Matt said brightly, "Matty it is! That means you get to be Salamander." He said, looking at Salome.

"Salamander?" Alex nearly yelled, looking up at Matt. Since when did Matt Smith go around nicknaming her daughter?

He grinned and nodded, "Salamander." He turned to Salome, "I dub thee Salamander of Kingston."

"I like it." Salome said, smiling happily.

"You can't name my daughter something so utterly…boyish!"

Matt pouted and folded his arms, "I think it's a perfectly brilliant nickname. Cool, very cool. Salamanders are cool, aren't they, Salamander?"

"Very cool, Matty." Salome said, nodding earnestly.

"I give up!" Alex said, throwing her hands up in the air and standing. "I'm going to go find Karen."

"I believe she's stealing Steven's tea at the moment." Matt said, pointing.

Alex rolled her eyes as she watched the redhead whisk by the head-writer of Doctor Who, taking his full tea-cup and sipping at it, then running off while Steven chased her to get it back. "Is there anybody on this set who isn't insane?"

"Only the boring people." Matt said, "And I wouldn't suggest you talk to them, they're very dull."

"Mm. I might like dull for a change."

"Oh, well I could be dull." Matt said, grinning.

Alex blinked. Was he…was he flirting with her. "Oh really?"

"Oh yes." He chuckled and caught her eye, and a little shudder sped up and down her spine as she looked into his deep-set blue eyes. They sparkled so happily, so childishly; and yet he could be so utterly devious. They were swirling kaleidoscopes of dark-blue, like a midnight sky. The darkness pooled within them slightly as she held his gaze. Vaguely, she was aware of Salome chattering on about something in the background, but she didn't look away just yet. Matt's eyes were shifting. They first focused on her left eye and then her right in time with his rhythmic breathing. She noticed his fingers twitch just slightly, that half-open smirk glued on his face as he too, surveyed her. The air was thick around them as she watched as his eyes traced over the bridge of her nose, followed spirals in her hair, glancing back down the side of her forehead, lingering in her eyes. Alex felt herself shift, her heart racing as his eyes moved lower. They rested on her mouth. As if in response, almost by nature, He licked his lips and Alex felt herself chewing on her bottom one. Her heart-rate was at breakneck speed, the blood was rushing in her ears.

She could kiss him.

She could lean forward.

She did, just a hair, and Matt noticed it. The corners of his mouth twitched and his tongue rang over his lips as his gaze flicked back to her eyes, causing her breath to catch in her throat. His head moved in her direction impulsively, and for a moment she thought they might meet.

Alex blinked and looked away.

No. No kissing. Especially not at work. No. Not ever. Not unless it was the Doctor and River kissing. She wasn't in a relationship with Matt and she would never be, either. He had a girlfriend and this silly, stupid crush had to end. It would, she knew it would. It would fade and she'd be able to go along with her life, so long as she didn't indulge it like a schoolgirl.

She looked up and saw Matt blushing furiously and staring down at his jeans while desperately trying to refocus his mind on whatever Salome was saying.

That had been far too close.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: (feel free to skip my useless rambling) We're back! And by we I mean me and my imaginary friends that just happen to be Matt and Alex. Yes, my imaginary friends include real people too...sometimes. Except now they're characters, so I guess it's not quite as strange. ANYWAY. We have our first _real _Mattex encounter here, in my opinion, anyway. So buckle up and prepare to smile. :) And don't forget to leave a review, reviews are always nice.

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4

Every Time We Touch

Two days later, Matt sat in the empty break room, hands folded, a lukewarm cup of coffee on the cabinet next to him. It was hardly touched. Everyone was packing up for the day, getting ready to leave, and Arthur and Karen wanted to go out to dinner with him at some Italian joint in the area that Karen kept raving about. Apparently Alex was coming as well.

Alex. He sighed and scrubbed at his face. That moment when their eyes had locked on Monday…God…his brain had nearly melted out his ears. Her eyes were now burned into his mind, staring at him. The way she'd licked her lips and chewed on them, the way her eyes had sparkled. They were such an odd color, like a green-y, gray-y, blue. He could get lost in those bottomless spirals of green that spun in the depths of an ocean-like color tinged with a storm. Her pupils had dilated when their eyes had locked. She'd started to lean forward, and when she stopped herself, he'd realized his heart was racing and he was straining for breath.

All of him had wanted to rush forward, take her in his arms, and snog her face off. That had been the first moment of its kind. Since then, they'd gotten closer together. He'd found that he'd even begun flirting with her the way the Doctor did with River.

Matt felt so, so very confused. On one hand, he had Daisy, his sweet, lovable, casual girlfriend. On the other hand, he had Alex…and the fact that he even could say he 'had' her was strange in itself. He didn't know what to do, as much as he knew that he had to stop this for Daisy's, Alex's, and his own sake… he didn't want to. It was snowballing much faster than he thought possible and he found he really didn't care. He loved her.

Monday had been proof that maybe, maybe Alex loved him back… and maybe she was just as mixed-up about it as he was.

His thoughts were interrupted by Arthur coming in to fill his coffee cup and pick up his stuff. "Hey, Karen and I were just about to leave. Oh and by the way, Alex'll be coming too."

_Alex'll be coming too_. Matt blinked. "Cool, let's go." He jumped up and grabbed his trailer key, dumping his coffee cup into the trash and following Arthur out.

Alex and Karen were standing outside, waiting for the boys. They were both in warm, black coats, back into regular clothing. Karen smiled at Arthur and Matt as they walked out. "So, Alex offered to drive…since we all live on set and what-not and her car's here."

"Okay, cool." Arthur nodded.

Alex smiled, it wasn't her bright, sassy, sexy, nose-wrinkling smile, it was just a regular smile, if anything about Alex Kingston could be called normal. "Alright, car's over this way." she walked off, and the rest of the group followed.

Karen and Arthur got in the back, leaving Matt with shotgun. Matt was beginning to wonder from the way Karen was smirking if that had been on purpose. Were they trying to drive him mad? He hopped into the front and blinked, trying not to think about how they were in unnervingly close quarters.

Alex turned the key in the ignition and then they were off, she glanced back in her rear-view mirror and then at Matt, "So, do you guys do this often?"

Karen nodded, "Pretty much."

"So where's Salamander?" Matt asked suddenly. He rather missed his little friend. He'd only met her a few days ago, but they'd exchanged phone calls and relayed messages through Alex. He always tried not to laugh when Alex quoted Salome, because he hated to admit that he actually loved it when Alex called him 'Matty'.

"Salamander? I assume you mean Salome?" Karen blinked.

Matt chuckled, "Long story."

"Yes, please let's not get into that." Alex laughed and shook her head, "Salome's with her nanny right now. Hopefully in bed."

"Ah." Matt smiled, "Well tell her goodnight for me when you get home," he said.

Alex smiled, "Will do, Matty, sir."

Karen could be heard choking on her laughter in the backseat, and Arthur looked genuinely half-confused, half-disturbed. "…since when is he Matty?"

"I'll have you know that Salome initiated it." Matt said, huffing. "I like being called Matty."

"Ooh, alright, _Matty_." Karen teased.

"Only Salome gets to call me that." Matt crossed his arms over his chest in slight irritation, he actually pouted a little bit.

"But Alex just called you that, why can't I?" Karen groused.

"Because she's _Alex_. She's like Salome, only bigger, and older…and…and _mum_."

Alex quirked an eyebrow. Matt blinked and scratched his head as he looked at her. Oh, that hadn't been the right thing to say…had it?

Karen laughed, "And you like her. That's why."

"No!" Matt exclaimed, his eyes widening, "Well, yes. I like her! But I don't…I don't like, like her!" he side-glanced at Alex. She looked a little… he didn't know how to describe it, but she was gripping the steering wheel tightly, and her eyes were wide with either anger or surprise…or mortification. He wasn't sure.

Karen rolled her eyes, "Shut up, you big idiot…it's plain as day, you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do! Why do you want to snog her face off every time you're lookin' at her, then, hm?"

"What? I don't- what makes you think that I- No I don't!"

"Yes-"

"Oi! Kids!" Alex reached behind her and hit Karen lightly on the knee and then whacked Matt upside the head. "Stop it, I'm trying to drive."

Matt blushed and glanced over at Alex. She was flushing a very bright shade of pink and attempting to keep her eyes on the road. He sunk lower into his seat and huffed, mumbling something incoherently and attempting to not sulk. Why did Karen have to be so…so… utterly _perceptive_ about certain things? Thankfully Arthur had stayed quiet, but he hadn't exactly been helpful either.

After a few painful minutes of awkward and heavy silence, with only the hum of the car filling it, Arthur said, "So… um…ah…ehhhh are we almost there?"

X X X

They took their seats in the restaurant, Alex and Karen shrugged off their coats. Karen strategically sat on with Arthur so Matt had to slide in next to Alex. He gave her and awkward smile and actually wished he had a bowtie to fidget with at the moment. He settled for scratching his cheek and then putting his twitching hands in his lap. Dammit, he could smell her! Peonies and Vanilla, distinctly _Alex_ – he blinked and licked his lips unconsciously.

The waiter came by, offered them drinks, then came by again to hand them what they'd ordered. As dinner commenced, Matt's eyes suddenly widened. Alex's leg had brushed up against his. He flushed and shifted in his seat, moving away.

"You okay, mate?" Arthur asked, looking at him oddly.

Matt laughed uncomfortably, glancing over at Alex, who was blushing. Okay, so it had been an accident. "Yeah, fine," his voice squeaked a little, and Alex snorted and rubbed her forehead before fiddling nervously with her napkin.

"Right, so Arthur, please no jamming tonight." Karen said, taking a sip of her drink, "We have to be up by four and I need my beauty sleep."

"Oh you definitely need your beauty sleep." Arthur replied.

Karen's mouth fell open, "What's that supposed to mean? I'm very gorgeous and sexy, I'll have you know."

Alex chuckled, "Ah well, not as gorgeous and sexy as me."

Arthur choked on his drink, suddenly wishing he hadn't said anything. Karen quirked an eyebrow, "Is that so, Ms. Kingston?

"Well I think she's very sexy." Matt said. His eyes widened when he realized what had just come out of his mouth and he clapped a hand over it. "I mean…as a…purely objective onlooker…guy…" he squeaked.

His breath hitched when she did it again. She scooted ever so slightly, brushing up close, her leg just touching his. Alex chuckled, purring in a way that belied the innocent face she had on, "Oh, Sweetie, _you know I'm sexy_."

"Oh does he now?" Karen's eyebrows flew to phenomenal heights.

Alex chuckled, "As a purely objective onlooker, of course." She teased.

"Of course." Matt mumbled, blushing. Great, now Karen probably had it in her head they were sleeping together. He reached for his drink to occupy his hands that were beginning to actually flail about and felt warm skin touching his. Alex had reached for her drink at the same time. "She's quite flirtatious too." Matt said, reaching up with his other hand and scratching his cheek, not really wanting to take his hand away from Alex's.

Since neither of them were paying attention, their fingers had converged on the same glass, fingertips just barely touching. If he reached just a little bit further, he could put his fingers over hers.

"Oh and you would know all about that." Karen teased, leaning forward and staring at them both.

Matt blinked. Neither his nor Alex's hand had moved away. "As much as Arthur does."

"Oi! Alex doesn't flirt with me!" Arthur exclaimed, "Don't bring me into this."

"She doesn't flirt with me either!" Matt retorted, even as his fingers were stretching so they could curl more around Alex's.

Karen raised an eyebrow, "Which is totally why you know she's sexy."

"I didn't say that, Alex did." Matt said, glancing over at Alex.

Just then, the waiter came with their food. Matt brightened considerably. This would give himself something to do. Alex pried her hand away from his on the glass to take her food, and Matt did as well. Suddenly, all he could think about was the fact that he wanted his fingers back over hers.

It had been so awkward, but had felt so right, his fingers curled around hers on the glass. He kind of wondered what it would be like without the glass in between them. Suddenly, he reached over to where her hand rested in her lap and discretely took it, fingers slowly climbing up hers and threading between, squeezing tentatively.

His heart was racing in those painful moments as he watched for her reaction. Alex's eyes widened as she took a bite of food, her hand twitched a little, and for a moment…he thought she'd pull away. But a curious thing happened, she didn't. Her fingers wrapped around his under the table, and she squeezed lightly. A small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth as he felt a shiver course through her…which only caused an explosive jolt through him.

Matt smiled. Here he was, sitting in a restaurant, secretly holding hands with Alex. Well, this was interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Finally, at long last, it's Thursday! I've decided that I'll be posting this fic on a schedule of every Monday/Thursday, so stay tuned on those days for updates! :) Here's another chapter from Alex's perspective, with a side of Salome. Enjoy and Review! :)

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5

**Matt the Cricket**

Alex's heart was still beating erratically as she walked back into her flat. She smiled at Cailen as the nanny walked out, "How was she for you today?"

"Oh, she was fine. She's in her room waiting for you," Cailen replied, smiling back at her. "See you tomorrow, Alex."

Alex nodded to her as she hung her coat in the closet, put her keys in the dish, and slipped off her shoes. In sock-feet, she went to Salome's room, opened the poster-ridden door, and blinked when she realized the light was still on. She glanced around the lavender room, over the white dresser and the corkboard, and then her eyes rested where Salome was lying in bed.

"Salome? You still awake, love?" She sat on the edge of the bed, and Salome quickly rolled over, sat up, and gave her a big hug.

"You're home! Did you and Matty have fun? Did you kiss?"

Alex laughed softly, "Yes we did, and Arthur and Karen were there too…and no we didn't kiss- why would we kiss?"

Salome shrugged, "Because you love each other."

Alex sputtered for a few seconds, "Why does everybody assume we do!"

"Because you do," Salome said matter-of-factly. She hopped up off of the bed and tugged Alex in the direction of her desk, "You have to come see what Cailen and I found on our walk!" She stopped at the edge of the desk, resting her elbows on the edge and her head in her hands as she stared into a large mason jar. "Shh… it's asleep!" She whispered.

Alex knelt beside her and blinked, trying to see what her daughter was seeing, "What is?"

Salome pointed one finger on the edge of the jar, and Alex finally noticed it. A cricket, just sitting there…. in a jar… "Isn't he cool?" She squealed quietly.

Alex chuckled, "Yeah, he is. Did you name him?" She didn't even want to know how Salome had managed to catch him.

Her daughter nodded, "Yep. This is Matt the Cricket!"

"Oh!" She grinned, but was wondering what Matt would think if he knew that he had a cricket named after him (of all things!). "Well, hello, Matt." She said to the jar.

"No…" Salome said solemnly, "Matt _the Cricket_."

"Ohh, my apologies, then." Alex said just as seriously, "Hello, Matt _the Cricket_." Now that that was done, she had to turn her attention to getting her rambunctious daughter back into bed. She stood and gave Salome a gentle love pat, "Alright, pick out a book you want for tonight, and then it's into bed, Missy." She said.

Salome huffed, "Just a little bit longer?"

"Nope." Alex shook her head, "You've been up late enough."

Salome heaved a great sigh and nodded, "Ohhh-kay." She clambered into her bed reached over and grabbed _Capyboppy _from the shelf. "This one!"

Alex crawled in after her daughter, pulling her into a one-armed hug as her daughter handed her the book. She laughed, "We just read this one! And I can't read it all in one night."

Salome grinned, "Two chapters? Just the part with the pool party where Capyboppy swims around in the pool!"

She laughed again and nodded, "Okay. But just that part. Then, you have to sleep! Got it?" She knew that once she started reading, Salome would have no trouble dropping off. It was a nightly ritual.

"Got it!"

"Okay. Now…" Alex flipped to the part, page 20 to be exact, and began in a slightly soothing, but still theatrical reading voice, "_Nobody could outdo Capy when it came to swimming underwater, but then he had the natural equipment such as self-sealing nostrils and ears, plus two pairs of swim fins, and he circled the pool time after time before bobbing to the surface for air. When at last the weary, waterlogged swimmers gave up, Capy gave up too. He joined his friends in the sun, adding a few of his own "tweetle-tweets" to the general conversation. For all the capybara knew, he was a teenager too, and a full-fledged member of our family…_"

Alex stopped when she heard her daughter's breathing, steady and deep next to her. She quietly closed the small book and brushed back a strand of hair from Salome's face, kissing her on the forehead and disentangling herself from her. Drawing back the covers, she laid her down carefully and tucked them up around Salome's shoulders, handing her her favorite Adipose plushie (something that she'd begged for ever since Partners in Crime, and her father had gotten her one).

Her soft smile faded when the memories of that plushie's past resurfaced. Her fingers lingered on it, a bitter taste filling her mouth. Salome loved the plushie to death…but it didn't make up for the fact that her father hadn't actually been there on her birthday. It had been his way of an apology…and he'd always been apologizing the same way for not being there for important moments. Salome had given up being disappointed and just gotten content to get the stuff that he gave her. Alex wanted Salome to have a real father…not an absent father who made promises he never kept. Her daughter deserved more than that. She didn't want her to grow up like that…always waffling between if her father loved her or if he didn't, because the times that Salome asked her if her Daddy really loved her shattered Alex's heart.

She blinked back salty, hot tears that were beginning to blur the edges of her vision and stood, wiping one away that broke free and slid down her cheek. Sometimes she swore she was slipping back into depression…but she couldn't, not now, not while she had a beautiful daughter and an excellent job going for her.

Not while she had Matt.

The fact that she could even say she 'had' him in any respects was odd. She never really 'had' men…they were just there, just a part of her life, friends, lovers, occasionally husbands…but she'd never connected so deeply with them as she did with Matt. Matt was different. He respected her. He treated her like a friend, and yet she knew that he loved her… he didn't mess with her head. He was honest. He was so innocent, allowed himself to be so vulnerable. Alex was neither innocent, nor could she allow herself to be open in the way that he was. He was good for her. She needed him… and she supposed that that, in a sense, was a way of being vulnerable without realizing it.

She really did want him to be a part of her life, a part of Salome's life. He was good with her, and Alex thought he'd make a great father. But…he was so young, he had so much to do and see and she wouldn't want to force all of this on him. She loved Salome dearly, but Salome was her baggage, not Matt's, and she'd never been very good at letting people help her carry her baggage.

The way he'd held her hand tonight… it was like he thought it was the most precious thing in the world. Like she was breakable. Like she was important to him.

_Like he never wanted to let go_.

She hadn't wanted him to either.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: (Feel Free to Skip my useless rambling) **I do really apologize for not getting this up on time, Romance and my brain have not been cooperating as I'm going through a lot of stress at the moment between my nannying and the fact that my sister is having open-heart surgery on Friday. Prayers and good thoughts would be much appreciated! Anyway, enough about me, more about Mattex! Hopefully this chapter is worth it...if you know what I mean. Hehe... ;)

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**6**

**Kiss Me Like That**

Why couldn't he keep his eyes off of Alex? Seriously! Was it that hard? It seemed every time she walked by him he had to stare at the way those glorious curls bounced, the light glinting around her head like a halo. That flirtatious smirk or that wink she'd give him always had him inwardly melting in his seat and he couldn't help but follow those long legs of hers as they sashayed across the room…or those pink, moist, full lips as they worked on a cup of coffee, or worse…a lollipop. He always found himself panting for air when she did that and desperately trying to hide it. It just wasn't fair that she could turn him on without even trying when he didn't even _want_ to be turned on! As much as he'd enjoyed holding her hand and admitted that he had some feelings for the woman… he hadn't expected to suddenly explode with them!

Their relationship (if you could even call it that) was growing by leaps and bounds. While thankfully, to most, it looked (and for the most part, felt) like a friendship, there was no denying the amount of sparks that went flying every time they interacted. It was positively ridiculous! It wasn't like he woke up that morning saying, "_Today, I'm going to flirt with Alex Kingston!_" It just kind of… happened. Yeah, why don't you grab her bloody hand and hold it in a bloody restaurant and then start getting bloody _turned on_ whenever she looks at you? Brilliant, Matt!

He had never, ever meant for it to turn into this. They weren't in a relationship yet and already he was gasping for oxygen.

Oh god, he'd used the qualifier 'yet'. That usually implied he was _planning_ on some sort of future…

"God!" He clapped a hand to his forehead and dragged it down his face, scrubbing at it slightly, as if he could scrub _Alex_ out of his brain. He took a sip of his coffee and walked over to a pair of chairs off-set. Absentmindedly, he moved the script and coffee cup that was on the chair. It was probably Arthur's. He sat down and read over his script.

As he did, he remembered. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god oh godohgodohgod. Don't. Die.

He was kissing Alex Kingston today.

He was _kissing_ Alex today.

He was kissing _Alex_.

Oh.

My.

God.

He choked on his coffee and put down the script, flailing as he coughed as his lungs painfully protested to having hot liquid poured down them. He wasn't sure if he could do this. No, correction, he wasn't sure if he _should_ do this. Not when the stakes were so high…not when anything could happen.

Anything like…like…

Like accidentally loving the way she kissed?

"Matt, you ok?" Alex said as she walked up, nursing her own cup of tea. He looked at her, gulping as he watched the way her lips formed over the cup perfectly, sipping on it, the liquid moistening them just enough…

He licked his lips, shifted in his chair, and scratched his cheek, "Yeah," he squeaked, "I'm fine, Alex."

She raised an eyebrow, "Good. Because you're in my chair and if you don't move I may be forced to take action."

He grinned, regaining himself, "Oh will you now, like what?…because I wouldn't mind having you in my lap, you know." He said, feeling immensely pleased as he watched her flush slightly and her Adam's-apple bob up and down, her eyes widening, her lips tighten- Why was he always going back to her lips?

"I'm sure you wouldn't, Mr. Smith, maybe when you're older." She said, winking at him and sipping on her coffee cup again and reaching over to where he'd moved her oversized sweatshirt and pulling it on over her costume. It was Matt's turn to blush when he mentioned his age.

"Looking forward to it, Ms. Kingston."

Alex huffed, pretending the shiver that ran up and down her spine from his attitude today was just because it was cold, "Don't call me that, makes me feel old."

He chuckled, "Alright, _Kingston_."

"Good, then, _Matty_."

Matt shifted in his chair, biting back the smile that inevitably came with the way she drew out his name. He still had a reputation to keep up though, unfortunately, "Only Salome gets to call me that."

Alex smirked as she sat down next to him, sending a whiff of Peonies mixed with her own special scent that made his spine tingle, "I thought you said I got to because I was basically Salome only bigger and older and _mum_."

He huffed, "Fine."

"Ha. I win this round." She grinned widely.

"No you don't." Matt pouted.

"Yes I do."

"Never." He said, smiling at her and tapping her nose. Her eyes widened at the gesture as she stared at him openmouthed, an expression of _noyoudidn't!_ on her face. Matt grinned, "Game over, Kingston."

Alex huffed and folded her arms around herself, glaring at him for a little bit before returning to her usual bright-eyed expression when she glanced at the script. "Matt, how do you feel about tongue?"

It took about two minutes for that sentence to register in his head. Matt blinked, said the equivalent of a button-mash and then stared at Alex like she'd grown three heads and a pink, bushy tail. "What?"

Alex seemed to not have noticed his discomfort. She said casually, "How do you feel about tongue, or would you rather not for this one, because River knows the Doctor quite well at this point and I think she wouldn't have any qualms about tongue-kissing."

Matt shut his mouth hard and tried to come up with something he could say other than the noise that wouldn't end up sounding like a petulant, half-starved kitten. "I-" _Ohgodyesnoshutupstupidbrain!_ "I…uh…yeah, I mean you're right about the River thing."

"So you don't mind-"

"No!" Oh that had come out a bit quick hadn't it?

Alex looked at him a bit strangely and then nodded, "Alright, tongue-kiss it is." She gave him a smile that was bordering on coy and then stood, taking off her sweatshirt, "Right, well the scene's going in two minutes, so…let's get on set."

Matt nodded, "Right." He tried to push back the urge to scream like a rabid fangirl and took his place on the stage, for once grateful he could awkwardly straighten his bowtie. They'd filmed the earlier scenes before the break, and now…this was basically just the kiss. He swallowed hard as Alex chuckled at him.

"Alright, Day of the Moon, scene 40, take one. Action!"

All of a sudden Alex's hands were on him and her lips were crashing on his and her tongue was in his mouth stroking and exploring and tangling with his own. He let out a surprised squeak that he hoped sounded more like "River!" than "Alex!" and didn't even have to try to flail because he was already naturally doing it. Alex's thumbs were caressing his face and her lips were so soft and moist and her mouth was so _hot._ He felt her swaying slightly back and forth against him and he struggled to think of what he should do with his hands. Should he still be flailing? Where was he supposed to put them? Finally, they tentatively rested on her hips and he drew her in, kissing her back for all he was worth, gaining control of his body again and battling back with his tongue. He relished a shiver that coursed through Alex. He was content and resting in the fact that just maybe he giving her a taste of her own medicine. She tasted vaguely of tea and breath mints and something else that reminded him of her own particular scent, and it was driving him crazy. The blood was rushing in his ears as Alex pulled back, looking confused and mildly intrigued.

"What's wrong? You're acting like we haven't done that before." She said a bit breathily.

Matt looked around awkwardly, thankful that this was truly their first kiss. There wasn't much real acting involved. He scratched his cheek and looked at her, "We haven't." _Oh please tell me we messed up the scene so we can do it again!_ "But it was good, very, very good…" He pushed past her to the TARDIS, a stupid grin growing on his face as he stopped himself at the door, glancing back at her, "You know what they say, right? There's a first time for everything."

He heard vaguely behind him as he stepped into the TARDIS, "And a last."

"Cut!"

Matt rested in the fact that was truly only the beginning. Maybe that scared him a bit. It did. But it was a good kind of scared. One thing he was sure of though…

He definitely liked the way that woman kissed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Let me just say, it has been a crazy weekend. I apologize for not getting this up on time, but I literally had no time to sit down and write. My sister's surgery thankfully went well, she's in the ICU, I'm spending most of my time with her. It's estimated she'll be there for about a week, so expect a week of weird off-schedule posting before we get back to normal ;) Anyway, thank-you for being such amazing, understanding, patient readers. I will post more when I get the chance to! Love you all, and I hope you enjoy this update. :)

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7

**Look Before You Leap**

Alex's lips were tingling as she stepped off the set. The taste of Matt was lingering in her mouth, laced with coffee and something that was distinctly male. It was the only way to describe him. She sat down, a shiver coursing through her. She could still feel the way his arms had wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest as he'd finally returned her kiss. She was frightened, so frightened of the way kissing Matt had excited her. This was a job, not a date. Normally the kissing wasn't all…all…that.

She wasn't sure if she could do this.

She couldn't go down this road again. She couldn't let herself do this. Alex knew she was slipping deeper and deeper down that slippery slope of a romantic crush faster and faster, ready to just jump, and right now she was teetering on the edge, looking down that pit, seeing only Matt. Would she throw herself into this and go down with what was left of her heart? Could she?

Alex bit her lip and took a swig of lukewarm tea, swallowing it and washing away Matt's taste from her mouth. Karen sat down next to her, grinning ear to ear.

"So." She said, raising an eyebrow at Alex.

Alex gestured for her continue, "So…?"

"You kissed."

"And?" Alex was still waiting for this conversation to go somewhere, hopefully not where she thought it was going…

"How was it?" Karen asked casually, leaning forward.

Well, looks like it was going where Alex had hoped it wasn't. Wait…it was already there. Alex huffed and avoided eye contact and trying to act nonchalant about it. "Oh…I've had better kisses from you when you're sloshed."

"You're such a bad liar, Alex!" Karen replied gleefully, "And besides, that kiss was totally the tequila's fault."

"What were you doing drinking tequila at two in the morning, anyway?"

"What were you doing at a nightclub at two in the morning?"

Alex chewed on her lip again and sighed in irritation, mumbling, "Having tequila."

"So Alex Kingston admits she drinks tequila at two in the morning at a nightclub?"

"Why do people talk about me like I'm not here to my face?" Alex deflected.

"Because you're Alex Kingston," Karen grinned.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Alex quirked an eyebrow.

"Just…you're Alex Kingston. That explains everything."

"Oh does it?"

Karen chuckled smugly, "I thought the kiss was hot."

Alex choked on her tea, coughing madly as Karen's comment registered in her brain. "The what was what?"

"The kiss was hot," Karen repeating, smirking at Alex's obvious discomfort. "So, you do fancy him!"

"I do not fancy Matt!" Alex hissed, hitting Karen in the arm and glaring murderously at her.

"Admit it, you fancy him."

"I do not fancy Matt Smith!" She exclaimed rather loudly. She hid her flushing face behind her teacup and then realized Karen was grinning evily. She looked around and realized that Matt was staring at her. Alex let out a tiny groan and slid down in her seat, giving Karen a homicidal glance before returning her eyes to stare at the very interesting nonexistent swirls in her tea. Matt walked over, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"You don't fancy me? I'm hurt, Kingston." He teased, sitting down.

Alex swallowed and then gave him playful grin, "I do like the way you kiss."

"Mm, yes, I'm rather brilliant at it, aren't I?" Matt replied, kicking back in his chair.

Karen rolled her eyes, "Please, it took you several minutes before you figured out how to snog Alex properly, and that was after she was already sucking your face off."

Matt gave a little nervous laugh, "Yeah…well…I wasn't expecting her to just throw herself at me."

"-Oh she's been doing that since the day she arrived." Karen replied, chuckling.

"Oi!" Alex crossed her arms, "That was Matt's idea, I'll remind you."

Matt coughed slightly and rubbed his hands on his jeans. He was embarrassed by that. Good! Alex wasn't about to be the only one sitting here who was absolutely mortified!

Karen chuckled, "It was a brilliant idea."

"Was it?" Matt perked up a bit at that.

"Yes, Matt, it was." Karen gave him a reassuring pat. "Except that Alex was all hot and bothered afterward."

"I was not!"

"Oh come on, Alex, don't think I don't catch the eye-sex that goes on between you two. And there was definitely eye-sex."

Matt choked extremely hard on his coffee, spewing it out slightly and coughing violently while Alex simply stared at Karen.

Between coughs, he exclaimed, "Eye-sex? Kaz? Really?"

Karen grinned devilishly, "Eye-sex."

"Okay. Okay. Enough." Alex waved her arm, "Fine, so me and Matt and I occasionally stare at each other."

"Occasionally?" Karen quirked a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Yes. Occasionally." Alex replied curtly as she sipped on her tea. "And besides, Karen, you don't even have your driver's license yet, I hardly think you're 'old' enough to be talking about eye-sex."

"Oh, but we all know you are." Karen teased.

Alex rolled her eyes, Karen really didn't know when to stop, did she? "You're impossible."

"But you love me." Karen grinned and threw her arms around Alex, hugging her tightly.

Matt looked like a little, left out, lonely giraffe. In fact, he was so pitiful that Alex jerked her head toward herself and Karen, "Get over here."

His face brightened impossibly and he wrapped his gangly arms around both girls, bending awkwardly because they were sitting down and he wasn't. Alex shivered deliciously as his arms wrapped around her. Yes, he most definitely just smelled like male, and she liked it. It wasn't any of those ridiculous, gag-me colognes that lingered for far too long. However gangly his arms were, they were strong and warm and oddly, she felt safe in them, and she didn't want him to let go.

"Ooh! Hugging!" She heard Arthur exclaim, god knows where he came from. He walked over and another set of arms was thrown around them. They stayed like that for a few minutes, it becoming a bit more awkward every minute until Arthur finally asked, "Why are we hugging?"

Frankly, Alex had forgotten why, and she didn't care. Matt was hugging her. She was teetering on the edge of the cliff, looking over it at Matt.

But…

She couldn't… She had a daughter to think about. Her heart couldn't handle this, Matt had a girlfriend. She couldn't pry into his life, she couldn't fit Matt into hers. How could he love her? How could she expect him to be content if she handed her the battered shred of heart she had left? She was broken. Well beyond her years of prime. There was no way this could work. If she took this leap, he'd either catch her…or she'd fall too far and she'd never be able to get back up. She couldn't risk that.

Alex slowly disentangled herself from the twisted mass of arms surrounding her. She stood, the room suddenly feeling cold without Matt's gangly arms around her shoulders. Wrapping her arms around herself, she watched as everyone else did the same. Then, slowly, with one last look at Matt, she turned on her heel and walked away.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: (Feel Free to skip my useless rambling) **And we're back! You guys are going to kill me when you read this chapter...seriously, you are. Either that or you may possibly die and then sue me for murder. Anyway. I had so many feels writing this chapter, it's not even funny how far our couple's relationship escalated... have fun! ;) Oh, and don't forget to review!

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1

**Tremble**

It was Thursday, two days after the kiss. Today was Arthur's birthday, and Karen had come up with a plan to take Arthur to one of he's least favorite places. A club. Matt and Alex had been roped into this of course. Karen had said they could bring whom they liked, so Matt was dragging Daisy along partially for the company, and partially because he knew if he didn't, he'd end up spending the whole night with Alex, and possibly getting drunk and doing something he'd regret. He was an idiot by nature, but he liked to think he still had a bit of his integrity left.

Daisy and he walked into the club close behind Arthur and Karen, Alex was behind them, and they all casually sat down. The music played loudly in the background, the beat fast and strong and pulsing in their ears. Karen looked around at everyone,

"I'll go grab some drinks, what does everyone want?"

They all stated their orders, and Karen ran off to get them. Arthur was slumped in his seat, looking absolutely miserable and like he just wanted to curl up in his trailer and hide under his covers. When Karen sat back down, handing everyone their respective drinks, he mumbled,

"I liked Alex's suggestion better."

Karen rolled her eyes, "Alex's suggestion was boring. No offense, Alex."

Alex chuckled as she took a sip, "None taken."

"But birthday cake under the stars...really?" Karen quirked an eyebrow.

"I thought it was a brilliant, quiet, nice idea." Arthur replied in annoyance.

"But it's your birthday, we have to make you a wee bit uncomfortable, hm?" She replied, chuckling.

"No we don't, do we have to, Matt?"

Matt held up his hands, "I really could care less, though...Karen did we have to go to the loudest, biggest club in Cardiff?"

"Yes." Karen nodded firmly.

Daisy laughed, "Oh come on, Matt, it's not like we haven't gone to any loud clubs in our time, gotten drunk, and done things we both regret."

Matt coughed, "Yes, but the key word is regret, Daisy."

"But we did meet at a club, and you don't regret that, do you?" She teased gently, letting him take a sip of her drink.

He smiled at her, his hand reaching over hers as he leaned in and kissed the side of her head, "Not in the slightest."

He pulled back, his hands awkwardly tapping on the table as he glanced up at Alex, who was staring out the window at the street in a slightly uncomfortable fashion. She must've felt him looking at her, because her eyes shifted to meet his, and a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth before her hands wrapped around her drink and she looked around the table,

"So, are we making Arthur dance?" Alex asked.

"No!" Arthur exclaimed, looking horrified.

Karen giggled and grabbed his hand, "Yes!"

Arthur huffed, "Well then, you're getting me another drink, because I get the feeling I'm going to need quite a few before you get me out there."

She simply rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on, stupidface!" She dragged him out to the dance floor and proceeded to throw her arms up in the air and engage in some ridiculous dancing.

Arthur did the same, looking absolutely miserable, and then saying a very lame, "Yay?"

Alex laughed and shook her head, and Daisy looked at her with a huge grin, "You're evil, you know that?"

Alex gave her a mischevious look, waving her hand noncommitedly, "Oh, he'll enjoy himself in a few minutes." She stood, her chair scraping back.

Matt looked up at her, "Where're you off to?"

She winked, "Tequila."

"Oh god." Matt's eyes widened as he watched her sashay off. This was going to be an interesting night…

"I take it Alex plus tequila has bad connotations?" Daisy asked, chuckling.

Matt's head was in his hands, "Karen has all informed us of the time Alex got sloshed on tequila and ended up kissing her." He was trying not to think of the results of Alex plus Tequila plus him. Though, he had to admit, the idea was exciting him more than he liked. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably.

"I'll have you know she kissed me." Alex groused, sitting back down with two drinks.

"Two, Alex? Isn't one enough?" Matt teased, "Or do you really want some action tonight?" Alex stuck her tongue out at him and Daisy whacked him in the side, rolling her eyes.

"One's for Arthur. God knows he'll need it." Alex said, a smirk on her face as she watched Karen trying to teach Arthur how to do the cha-cha... to a song that totally didn't work with it.

Daisy laughed at that and then glanced at Alex and then to Matt, then back to Alex, "Mind if we…?" She gestured to the dance floor.

Alex waved her hand, smiling with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "Go ahead."

Daisy broke out with a huge grin and grabbed Matt's hand, "C'mon."

Matt found himself being pulled onto the throbbing floor, the music all around him, the thrill of the dance running through him as Daisy's arms went up into the air and she and he weaved around, bodies swaying against each other to the beat of the music. Strangely, as clumsy as he was, he wasn't a terrible dancer. His arms wrapped around her and his nose buried in her hair as the song switched to a slower beat. He had to admit, he loved Daisy, he loved being with her. He loved how trusting and committed, yet so free their relationship was. But…

His head slowly rose and his eyes found Alex, sitting at that table all alone, watching Karen and Arthur, then him and Daisy, and then back to Karen and Arthur, blue eyes longing. He licked his lips as he watched her face as it rested gracefully on one hand. She sipped idly at her tequila, pink lips forming perfectly over the glass. His eyes roamed liberally down her body. She was wearing that gorgeous little black dress he loved, her hair all lovely and wild and undone. His eyes traced the way her hips flared out, and then to her legs peeking out under her skirt. They were long, smooth, and crossed neatly. Wonderful, endless legs that he was quite sure were graceful and light on the dance floor. A small smile quirked on his lips when he saw her heels. Oh, how he loved those gorgeous black heels! Not too tall, not too short, comfortable and strappy and flirty and classy all in one. Funny how Alex's shoes always seemed to match her personality. How did she manage to make everything she wore, from sweats to her little black dress to her River Song costume so sexy? Or…was that her inside them? He blushed and returned his gaze to Daisy, eyes widening when he realized she had been staring at him the whole time, watching the way his eyes had lingered over Alex.

Her eyes were understanding, slightly wide. Her lips pursed as she looked from Matt's face, to Alex, and back to Matt. "You should dance with her." She said softly.

Matt blinked, "Song's not over yet." His arms wrapped tighter around Daisy, even as his heart and his legs were screaming at him to obey her suggestion.

Daisy took her arms out from around his neck and pushed him away, "Go. She should be able to enjoy herself too, and Arthur sure isn't going to do it."

Matt chuckled softly, looking at her a bit like a scared rabbit, "Are you…? You're sure you're okay with it?"

"It's a dance, Matt. Go get her." She gave him a shove and a reassuring smile, walking off to go get herself another drink.

Matt walked up to Alex, looking for all the world like a high school boy who wanted to ask a girl he fancied to the prom. His hands were wringing together and he scratched his head and looked around, licking his lips before returning to look at Alex, who was staring back at him.

"You two get tired or something?" She teased.

Matt chuckled, "Actually…um…" he coughed, looking back at the roving lights of the dance floor, "Want to dance?" He held his hand out to her as awkwardly as a hand could be held out, giving her a shy smile.

Alex looked at him in surprise, her disbelieving eyes staring first at his hand, then at his face to see if he was serious. "Your girlfriend's here, Matt…you're sure this okay? You should be spending time with her…" she said hesitantly.

Matt smiled and shook his head, his hand extending a bit far, "She said she doesn't mind…come on, Kingston." He wiggled his fingers a bit.

One corner of her mouth twitched upward and she stood, setting down her tequila glass with a clink. Her warm hand took his, and he felt a thrill go through him. His smile widened impossibly as she grinned bashfully at him, glancing around as if she wondered if this truly was okay. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and tugged her out to the floor.

Unbeknownst to them, Karen was watching. She let go of Arthur's hand, smiling wickedly as she walked up to the DJ. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he looked at her, "Want to make a request?"

Karen gave him a grin, "Just play something slow." She gave him a wink and then walked back to Arthur.

Matt blinked when suddenly the lighting dimmed and a slow, romantic song began playing. "I swear I had nothing to do with this…"

Alex simply laughed and tentatively wrapped her arms around his neck, "A dance you asked for and a dance you shall have, Smith. I don't care what song it is."

He smiled down at her, timidly putting his hands on her waist, and Alex gave him a reassuring smile and closed the small gap between them. Matt gulped as he felt her body swaying gracefully against his own. His arms pulled her closer of their own accord, the feeling of his body molded against hers so natural. She was soft and each curve was so perfect, he wanted to spend hours exploring them. He sighed when her head came to rest on his shoulder, and without realizing it, his hand stroked up and down her back gently. He took a chance and buried his face in that wonderful mane of hers, daring to inhale and capture that glorious scent of peonies, and something else…interestingly tonight…something he couldn't place. His left hand found the small of her back, and his right tangled in her curls. His skin tingled as her long fingers cupped the back of his neck, her body meshing against his own more tightly. He could feel her heartbeat against his, fast and racing and frightened, the same as his. More feelings were being stirred up in him than he'd ever felt in his life, a strange mix of lust, and love, and caring, throbbing through him to the slow, steady beat of the music that they were rocking in time to.

Alex lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him, green eyes heavy-lidded and her face flushed pink. He thought she never looked more beautiful than now as the lights played across her perfect skin. Matt's fingers brushed the back of her neck, and he felt a small tremor course through her. Curiosity built within him as she stared up at him, fully trusting, fully his. Her soft lips were slightly parted, the blood of excitement tinting them darker than they had been earlier. A tingling sensation sped down his spine, and his thumb reached forward and grazed across her bottom lip as he smiled down at her.

She trembled violently in his arms, and he felt a jolt course through him, heat spreading throughout his body. He wanted to pull her close, to close the tiny gap between them and crash his mouth onto hers, and by the way she was looking at him… she felt the same way. He leaned down, and he heard her breath catch in her throat the same way his was. Hell, he hadn't been breathing for minutes. They gravitated towards each other…the gap closing.

But Daisy was watching, Matt knew it, and he also knew he didn't want to hurt her.

He brought his hand around Alex's neck to tenderly cup her cheek, and gently kissed her forehead instead.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **And we're back to the posting schedule! I'll say it again, in case any of you forgot, **this fic is posted every Monday/Thursday**, in other words **bi-weekly. **I try to update in the morning, which will be **before** **9 AM**, (US Pacific time) but I don't always get around to it, so sometimes it will end up being posted in the evening or late afternoon. It will _never_ get posted later than **10 PM**. All that aside, here's a new chapter, which, I'm sorry to say, doesn't really compensate for the chapter before it, you guys will just have to wait. Ehehehe...

Reviews would be appreciated! (If you find a typo or continuity error, feel free to correct me in a review, I don't mind)

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9

**Pretend**

Alex's insides were flipping inside out, her stomach in her throat, her heart in her mouth as she felt Matt's cool lips press to her forehead. She wanted to be like this forever. In his arms, she felt safe, she felt loved, and she felt special. He somehow, even though she wasn't really sure if he actually cared about her romantically (no, of course he didn't! Stop it, Alex!), she knew he would be an excellent friend in whatever was to come in her crazy life. Not that she was really content with that, but she really doubted he'd leave Daisy to be with her. She was broken, old, and had nothing to offer him but a shredded heart and a daughter who desperately needed a father.

She felt his arms encircle her once more, and her head rested on his chest. Her eyes closed, and here she was happy again. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed then she could pretend that he _was_ hers, she could forget that Daisy was somewhere in the club, watching, she could forget Karen and Arthur and just suppose, just for a moment, that she could be happy and she could have all she ever wanted. Because _Matt_ was all she ever wanted. He'd make a wonderful father, and she realized that he'd make a wonderful husband too...maybe he'd be permanent. She wasn't willing to risk actualizing her dream, but there wasn't too much of a risk to fantasizing for a moment, was there?

Her heart was thumping to the beat of no, no, no, as the song wound down. These small moments had been some of the best moments she'd had in a long time, and she wasn't willing to give them up so easily, but Matt was already pulling away. Of course, he'd want to spend the time with Daisy, he'd indulged her enough.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, making an effort to smile that she hoped wasn't visible. He smiled back and squeezed her hand, "Thanks for the indulging me, Kingston."

She chuckled, oh how little he knew, "No, thank you, Smith." She at him, and he smiled, putting a gentle hand on the small of her back and leading her back to the table. She sat and dared not look at Daisy, she couldn't. She felt like a kid who'd gotten caught with her hand inside a tempting cookie jar, even though Matt had said she had okay'd it, Alex still wasn't sure. Daisy gave Matt and her a grin that was somehow a bit off,

"Have fun, guys?"

Matt smiled and nodded, "We did."

She smiled and took his hand. Alex expected her to kiss him or something, claim him as hers, but she didn't, she simply gave him that same off-kilter smile and returned her eyes to her drink, taking a sip.

Karen and Arthur sat down a few minutes later, breathless. Arthur looked chuffed, seeing as he'd actually mastered the macerana, something which nobody had really thought he'd had the coordination to do.

"Can we go home now?" Arthur asked after taking a sip of his drink.

"No!" Karen actually looked offended, "It's barely past midnight, Arthur," She paused and put on a dramatic voice, "The lights a roaming, the night is young, stay with me and dance and drink and be merry!"

There was a collective silence around the table.

Alex pushed the shot of tequila in Arthur's direction, "You're going to need that." She said, seriously.

Arthur blinked, "Dare I ask what THAT is?" He took a drink anyway.

"Tequila." Matt supplied before Alex could say anything.

Arthur choked on it, "Tequi-what?"

Alex laughed, "It'll help, trust me. A couple of those and you won't even want to go home."

"And I might end up snogging Karen." He deadpanned.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Do you guys have to bring that up _every time_?"

"Yes." Arthur replied shortly.

There was silence around the table as everyone sipped on their drinks. Alex noticed that Daisy seemed a little on edge. She didn't sit as close to Matt as she normally did and while she had very good command of what expressions she decided to let through on her face… her eyes seemed a bit distant and pinched somehow. Alex shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Had the dancing really been okay? She really didn't want to be on Daisy's bad side…at all, because that would probably make things difficult for Matt and she didn't want that either.

She tuned back in on the conversation at the mention of her name, "Matt and Alex danced." Daisy was saying.

She blinked, when had the conversation gotten on to that?

Karen giggled, "I know!"

"Karen, don't get one of your god-awful ideas…please." Matt interrupted, "It was a _dance._"

"And a kiss!" At that exclamation from Karen, Arthur choked on his tequila again.

"-Darling-" Alex interjected, trying to break off where she knew this was going as she took Arthur's glass from him and motherly patted him on the back. Daisy raised Arthur's arm over his head.

"On the forehead!" Matt exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Is that bad?"

"No…it's good, _very_ good." Karen replied, smiling at him and taking a demure sip of her drink as Arthur continued to sputter. He finally swallowed correctly with a whack to the table, his eyes watering.

"You alright?" Karen asked in a calm, collecting, and faux-concerned manner.

Arthur rolled his eyes, "I'm fine, no thanks to you."

"You'd think you literally came here to kill him by the look on his face." Daisy said, laughing and earning a positively lethal scowl from Arthur.

"Hey, choking on tequila is _painful_." Arthur whined.

Alex rubbed his back and then condescendingly patted his head, "Aww, you poor wee thing."

He simply crossed his arms and pouted. "I think you should put Kaz in time out."

"I agree." Matt replied in the exact same tone.

Karen's eyes widened in annoyance, "Oi!"

Alex rolled her eyes, "I refuse to mother you all. Now, cheer up and drink your tequila." She said to Arthur, giving him his drink back. "Daisy and I might as well leave you alone and go and have a night to ourselves, seeing as we're the only adults at this table!"

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Daisy replied seriously.

Arthur scooted back, "You can NOT leave me alone with these two!" He said, his tone theatrical and dramatic.

Alex patted his head again, "You'll live."

"Are you sure?" Karen said with a wicked grin.

"Mm, yes. Because if you don't, I will never, ever, ever, _ever_ let you use my pink fluffy blanket again." Alex said in satisfaction. "_Ever_." Karen gasped in horror as Alex turned to Matt, "And you'll never see that Dalek teacup again, young man."

"But-"

"No." Alex said, lifting up her hands. "That's final. Now play nice." She crossed her arms as the table fell into a comfortable silence again. She fiddled with her napkin, thinking about Matt's earlier comment. The dance had meant nothing, then, she was sure of it. The kiss on the forehead was a gesture of…of…she didn't even know. What she did know was that all those sparks, that feeling, everything about that had been imagined. She chewed on her lip and stared out at the street. Taxis were lined up like a string of pearls, winding their way down the road, the clouds hung low and heavy on this quiet Cardiff night, and it was a good scene to stare at. Melancholy. Yes. That was it. Melancholy. Because it was matching her defeated feelings at this moment. She was trying not to be too surprised or disappointed. Who did she think she was? Matt Smith was not going to fall in love with her. She was a friend, maybe even an acquaintance, and he'd danced with her out of pity. He'd danced with her because she was alone, and pathetic, and he wanted to be _nice_. What had all of that been, then? Had she really been imagining everything over the past few weeks? Everything? She wasn't sure what hurt more, the fact that Matt didn't feel anything for her, the fact that she'd been so desperate she'd pretended the whole thing, or the fact that she still loved him so much she couldn't breathe, much less let go.

She felt a tears spring to her eyes and stood, "Excuse me." She walked off to the bathroom, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling sick and trying not to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Hello again, all my wonderful and O-so-amazing readers and reviewers! I apologize for how late in the day this was posted, I had it 3/4ths of the way done at 7:30 this morning but then my computer crashed and I lost the whole thing and was forced to rewrite it from scratch, and I hadn't the time to do that until after dinner today. So, sorry about that! Anyway, this chapter's...eh... a bit angsty, but not as much. Still haven't really gotten back into the fluffy side of things yet. That'll come soon enough though. Enjoy and Review! :)

* * *

10

**Goodbye, Hello**

Matt stared down at his cup as Alex walked away. Karen and Arthur were quiet, beings as Karen was trying to debate on if she should have another drink and Arthur was falling asleep in his tequila. He glanced over at Daisy, hoping she might offer some sort of conversation to ease the awkward silence that had descended. He was surprised to see her looking a little distant, thoughtful… pensive? No…that couldn't be right… and yet it was the only word he could think of that fit. He never would've used pensive to describe Daisy, not in a million years. She was carefree, happy, maybe sometimes a little on the ditzy side… but… _pensive? _She looked like she was trying to decide something, and that made Matt shift in his seat a bit, fingers tapping on his glass. Had it something to do with the dance with Alex? She'd assured him it was okay… but now he wasn't too sure. He bit his lip and stared down at the table, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts.

"Matt?" He looked up when Daisy finally spoke, "Can I borrow you for a minute?"

He nodded, "'Course." Matt grabbed his coat and followed her outside, past the burgundy walls and the crowds of people, his hand slipped in hers, but she pulled away, and Matt frowned at that. That wasn't like Daisy. They stopped outside under a blonde street-light, the moon tracing spirals in the midnight sky as the cool Cardiff air swirled around them breezily. He could see Daisy's breath in clouds as she tried to formulate how she was going to say whatever she was going to say.

Matt hopped from one foot to the other nervously before noticing that Daisy had been too preoccupied to remember her jacket. He quickly slid his off and put it around her shoulders before asking, "Is everything okay, Daze?"

Her eyes met him as her fingers curled around the lapels of his jacket, tugging it closer around her small frame. It hung almost like a blanket around her. "Matt- I just…" She swallowed and turned away from him, trying to think. After another lengthy and impregnated silence, she finally whispered, "We both knew this was going to happen eventually." He felt her shiver when he put a hand on her shoulder, walking up to stand next to her. He didn't know what to say. He wished he could deny it, say that he had no idea what she was referring to, but the trouble was… he knew exactly what she was talking about. Daisy looked up at him, first at his eyes, then at his lips, and back at his eyes again, "You, me…this…was never meant to be permanent. We both knew that someday one of us would move on and find somebody that was…" she paused and took a deep breath, looking down and straightening his collar before continuing her sentence, "Better."

"Daisy... it's not like that…" Matt tried to stop her. He wouldn't necessarily call Alex better. He still really cared about Daisy and he didn't want to break her heart like this- but- he loved Alex.

"-Shut up." Daisy said softly, "I can see it in your face, every time you see her, the way your eyes light up and you look like you'd be willing to go to the ends of the earth to make her happy. You love her like crazy, Matt, and she loves you, and I don't want to be in the way of that." She wrapped her arms around herself and Matt's heart shattered. Why did he feel like he was stepping all over Daisy to get to Alex? He didn't want to do this…and yet he did. He gently took Daisy by the wrist and forearm, un-wrapping her and taking her hands.

He swallowed, "I don't want to hurt you like this, Daze… and Alex- Alex probably doesn't feel the same wa-"

Daisy laughed mirthlessly, pressing a finger to his lips, "Hush, stop being daft, Matt. Alex is crazy about you, and she needs you. Ok? And don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I think it's time we let each other go and move on." Her fingers whispered across his lips and then his nose, and Matt reached up to take them.

"What if I'm not ready?"

"Then I'm going to push you in head-first." She replied, a ghost of a smile crossing her face. "You deserve her, and she deserves you, and I am not going to let you mess up on this one and not go after her. You can't, not when out of all the charismatic, handsome men in this world, Alex Kingston chooses lovable, dorky _you._" She chuckled softly and stared down at the sidewalk.

Matt laughed as well and let go of her hand to scratch the back of his head, "No idea why…"

"You're an idiot." She blurted out, before shaking her head and looking back up at him, "Look, Matt. We'll still be friends, okay? Just- I'm not going to be in the way of you and Alex." She swallowed and then, when he wasn't meeting her eye, she commanded, "Matt, look at me."

Matt did. Honestly, why was he so reluctant to do this? He just… he felt like he was betraying Daisy somehow, or like he already had. She was sweet and lovable, and right now he was seeing that thoughtful side that he almost never did. He honestly didn't know she was that deep of a person, and that only pointed to how shallow their relationship really had been. He chewed on his lip and then looked down at her, staring into those eyes of hers.

Daisy took a deep breath and fondly straightened his collar before continuing, "I want you to go after her. Promise me that you'll act on all those feelings that I can see bottled up inside of you." She paused, "I want you to be happy, and I want you to make her happy like I know you can… like you've made me happy, only… you know…without all those limits that we put on ourselves."

Matt's lips pursed, his face tight as he nodded, trying to swallow that twisted knot in his throat. "I promise."

She smiled, "Good…I'm going to go get my coat." She went back inside the club, leaving Matt outside under the street-lamps to think.

He was free to go get Alex… He was free to express that he loved her. At least… as far as Daisy was concerned. He still felt awful, like he'd pushed Daisy into a corner somehow and left her no choice. He just hoped he wasn't the complete jerk he felt like right now. On the other hand, he felt like a weight had been lifted. He paced back in forth in front of the club. He didn't have to choose between Alex and Daisy anymore, Daisy had chosen for him. But…right now, he was terrified. Terrified because he was in a position that now put him up for direction, what if Daisy had been wrong and Alex didn't love him? What if she wasn't ready, just like him? He wasn't sure if he could deal with it if she rejected him. He knew he was young for her, but somehow, he hoped this would all work out.

Daisy came out a few minutes later, her coat and bag wrapped around herself. "I haven't told Karen and Arthur." She said quickly, "I'm- going to go home-"

"-I can drive you, if you like." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No. It's fine." She replied, tugging on her jacket sleeve and then squeezing his hand, "I'll just get a taxi. Go have fun, Matt. Don't let me down, now." She gave him a wink and then waved, her hair blowing a bit in the wind as she walked away, carrying a little bit of Matt's heart with her.

He chewed on his lip and turned, looking back at the doorway to the club. Well, he might as well walk in there and start this now. It was like, for the past few weeks, he'd been standing on the edge of the pool, just touching his toes to the water and shivering at how cold and deep it seemed, and now Daisy had just shoved him in, clothes and all. He wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.

Matt walked back into the club, sitting down at the table and looking around, surprised when he didn't see Alex. How long did it take for the bathroom? Was she okay? He looked at Karen and Arthur.

"Where's Alex?"

"She went home." Karen supplied.

Arthur nodded, looking tired, "-Said she felt sick."

Matt frowned in worry, this was not how he'd envisioned this to go. Well…he might as well leave her alone until she felt better, then. Though, if she wasn't feeling better soon, he might be forced to find out where she lived and check on her, no matter how dodgy that sounded in his head. "Oh. Okay."

A few minutes later, much to Karen's chagrin, Arthur announced sarcastically that he'd had a lovely birthday but that he needed to get home and sleep. He wasn't looking forward to the hangover in the morning. With that, the impromptu birthday party was ended, and the three drove back to set, and went to bed.

Before he went to bed that night, Matt, out of habit, picked up his phone to text Daisy goodnight… but then he thought better of it and tapped in a new number.

_G'night, Kingston. Feel Better. _


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Apologies for only updating once this week, but it wasn't finished by Monday due to the fact that I was insanely busy on Saturday and I don't write on Sundays. And, for some odd reason, this chapter was hard to write. Anyway, it's here now, and I hope you enjoy it. Read, Relish, Review! :)

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11

**Lovesick**

Alex felt another tear roll down her face as she got into her car, pulling the door shut behind her. She could see from here Daisy and Matt talking. It didn't look heated, but they both look upset. Alex chewed on her lip and forced herself to turn around, looking behind her so she could back out of her parking space. She'd had a great time tonight…at least…at first, she had. But now that she knew Matt had simply felt sorry for her and his kindness had gotten him in trouble with his girlfriend when he was so daft and sure it would be okay with her… Alex felt absolutely sick.

Angrily, she wiped away a tear, feeling completely stupid for indulging herself like this. How could she? She felt like she was taking advantage of Matt, almost, and she didn't want that. He was sweet, and amazing, and so painfully not hers. He was so innocent, and she was so completely the opposite and she didn't want to drag him into her life and ruin his. She loved him and hated him for being so bloody wonderful, because it made her want to be with him even more, but at the same time she knew she couldn't. She couldn't waltz into his life and whisk him away from his girlfriend. It'd only hurt him. Alex had put him in an awkward position and she was immediately regretting that. She'd never meant to cause trouble for him, and…

God, her thoughts were rambling. She couldn't even think clearly. She couldn't think of anything else besides the way his arms had wrapped around her, his heart beating against hers as his cool lips pressed against her forehead. Even the simple thought of it caused her to tremble again.

Alex shook those ideas and memories from her head, hitting the steering wheel in annoyance at herself. She thought it would be easy, she never thought that her stupid, butterflies-flying-around-her-head, twitterpainted crush would go this far. It was absurd. It was ridiculous. Alex both absolutely detested the way she felt and was excited about it. She was so terribly flip-flopped and upset and upside down. She couldn't believe that Matt had this effect on her! How could he manage to drive her utterly mad? He was just a little boy, a naïve little boy that was far too young for her. She'd never gone for younger men, not at any point in her life, so why now? Why Matt? What made him so stupidly brilliant that she would fall this hard for him despite every single thing that her brain was screaming at her heart. She'd warned herself, she knew that going down this road was only going to end up with her and probably Salome getting hurt again. But her heart was just stubbornly holding on to Matt. Why?

He was everything she was not. He was everything that she ever wanted in a man. He was perfect. Matt was sensitive, he was fun and flirtatious and caring. He'd never think of doing anything to hurt her, and she knew that he'd always be there for her, even if she was just a friend. He cared about Alex, not about what she could do for him. That was why she was so flipped around right now. He'd thrown her for a loop because she wasn't used to getting that kind of love. Not from men, anyway. She got it from her friends and gladly gave it out, but being on the receiving end was strange and unfamiliar and altogether fantastic.

She knew she had a choice to make. Was she going to stop this right now, stop it from getting any further and resulting in her heart getting shattered, or was she going to let it continue? Were the confusion and the befuddlement and the emotional pain worth it? Was he worth it?

Alex parked the car and sniffled. She checked her reflection in the pull-down mirror, huffing when she saw the slightly runny mascara and how tired she looked. Well this was grand! She quickly took a tissue and cleaned up her makeup before getting out of the car and going inside. After thanking Cailen and handing her the paycheck, she walked over to Salome's room to check on her.

A small smile lit up her face as she leaned in the doorway, watching Salome sleep so peacefully, blissfully unaware of most of the complications of the adult world. Of course, Salome still understood quite a lot of them, and Alex felt she was to blame for that. Salome didn't need to know or be worried about all of those things, and yet, with Alex's stupid, complex life…that's how it ended up. She'd never meant for her daughter to go through everything Alex had put her through, but she had. And Alex hated that she could change that or even make it up to her. If she'd had the choice, none of that would've happened. But she didn't, and she couldn't change it, and so far she was doing a rubbish job of making it up to her.

Alex sighed, turning to walk to the kitchen to make herself some tea to calm her insides. She knew her body well enough to know that if she wasn't careful, she might actually get sick from this…and that wouldn't bode well for filming the rest of the scenes on Monday. She was glad that tomorrow was a day off though, that way if she was sick, she could at least rest, and not have to go to work.

Alex poured herself a cup of tea and sat down at the table, drinking it slowly. When she was finished, she felt a bit more human, but not quite. Sleep would probably do the trick… if she could sleep, that is. She quickly got ready for bed and then climbed under the covers. She reached over and pulled the second pillow up to her chest, hugging it tightly.

She'd never been good at sleeping alone, especially after her marriages. Even as a child she used to clamber into her parent's bed almost every night. She couldn't help it, having someone there helped her sleep more peacefully. Whether or not Alex admitted it, she was the biggest snuggler on the planet and loved to have someone there she could curl up with and rest her head against and wrap her arms around. She always liked having someone there to hold her while she slept, what women didn't?

Alex sighed softly. A pillow would just have to do. She set her phone down on the nighstand, and was just about to turn it off when she got an incoming text. Curious as to who would be texting her at this hour (Karen would probably be sleeping like a rock by now), she opened it. It was from Matt. Alex felt herself shiver again slightly, and hugged the pillow tighter as she chewed on her lip. Scrolling down, a small smile spread across her face as she read the text.

G'night, Kingston. Feel Better.

And all of a sudden, that stupid, fluttery, fantastic feeling replaced her dread. Alex found herself grinning madly at her phone.

* * *

Alex woke the next morning, and immediately wished she hadn't. God. Okay. She was sick. Or maybe it was a hangover from tequila. Either way she felt like crap. She rolled over and checked the clock, realizing it read 10:34. Her eyes widened. How had she slept so late? Salome was normally up? Was she sick too? What was going on? She dressed in a flurry, ignoring the pounding headache and the rising nausea to run out and find Salome.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Salome seated on the couch with a bowl cereal, watching some of the WHO they owned. She glanced up at her mum and frowned, "You looked terrible."

Alex chuckled weakly, running a hand through her hair, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Alex sauntered off to the kitchen to find herself some more tea. Why did it feel like she was imploding? For crying out loud, her hangovers weren't normally this bad. She had to be actually sick. Which meant she needed to stay away from Salome. She didn't want to get her sick, and Alex couldn't really look after her like this.

"Hey, darling?" Alex called a bit froggily from the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

Pouring herself a cup of tea, Alex croaked, "I'm sick-"

"No…" Was the sarcastic reply.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Cheeky should be your nickname, not Salamander. – I'm going to have you go spend the day with Cailen-"

"-Aw, mum! Can I do it with Kazza?"

"I don't think that-"

"Please?"

Alex huffed. Karen probably had a worse hangover than her, but she had promised Cailen the day off… Alex picked up her phone and dialed Karen's number.

An equally croaky Karen answered, "What?"

"Hey- it's Alex."

"Oh."

Alex winced. Karen was in no condition to look after Salome. "Eh…I'm sick- so…"

"Send her over to Arthur or Matt's – or Steven's- or Abby's- not me." Karen mumbled.

Salome, having apparently heard that, called, "Ooh! Yes! Abby! Can I go to Abby's? Can she do my makeup?"

Alex chuckled, "I'll call Abby and see." She said to both of them, more to Karen than to Salome, though.

"Okay. Bye." And with that, she abruptly hung up.

Alex shook her head, reminded herself never to bother Karen after a night out again, and then dialed Abby's number.

"Hey, Alex, what's up?"

"I happen to be sick…" Alex began.

"-want me to watch Salome for you?" Was the immediate reply.

Alex grimaced a bit, "Would you? That'd be amazing…"

"Yeah, sure! I'll be there in five minutes to pick her up."

Alex immediately felt quite relieved, "Thank you so much."

"No problem, see you in five."

Sure enough, in five minutes, Abby picked up Salome and the two were off to have some "incredibly fantastic girl time". Alex shook her head and chuckled as she closed the door. She swallowed, trying to keep her stomach from coming up through her throat and then walked back to bed, seriously hoping that this would be gone by tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **

Poke (verb): 1. To prod somebody or something with something. 2. Another hurt/comfort term used by insane authors for the action of general hurting of a character or characters, mainly for the purposes of the satisfaction of another character or characters coming alongside and helping the character heal.

Ex: Indigo enjoys poking Alex in this chapter by giving her the flu.

Read, Relish, Review! :)

12

**I Care**

Matt woke the next morning groggy and disoriented. It took him a cold shower and several strong cups of coffee before he was fully awake and aware. It was only then that he realized he had utterly and completely no idea what to do with himself. It was Sunday, and being Sunday, this was the day that he would normally take Daisy to the coffee shop. It'd been a week since that fateful day when Alex had walked in to the shop and he'd realized just how he felt about her. One, very eventful week. He'd become completely smitten with Alex, and Daisy had set him free to go and do what he liked with his new found passions. The trouble was, he hadn't the faintest clue how to go about acting on them. To tell the truth, Matt was rubbish at starting relationships. It'd been Daisy that'd found awkward, nerdy, gangly him and asked him out, and it'd been Daisy who'd initiated the idea of the rules, and it'd been Daisy who ended the relationship. Come to think of it, Matt had been completely passive through the entire thing. Now, he wanted to change that. He wanted to take an active role in loving Alex, the trouble was, he didn't know where to begin.

So, he settled for sitting idly on his couch, watching the next crime show that came on the telly and wondering if he should amble over to Arthur's trailer and see if he wanted to hang out. It was in that exact moment when his phone rang. The caller ID came up as Karen, and he checked his phone to see a new text from her.

_Arthur's in bed, Alex's still sick. I have a bloody hangover, don't bother me._

He huffed. Great, just great, what was he supposed to do with himself all day, then? Play solitaire? He was doomed to spend the day completely bored. He didn't know any good places to go in Cardiff, especially not alone, and as socially awkward as he was, Matt was still a social creature, and he liked the company of his friends. Arthur was likely to spend the rest of the day in bed, as was Karen… and Alex…?

Well, he didn't even know.

What was Salome doing? Had Alex gotten someone to watch her for her? Maybe he should go over and check on everything, just to make sure they were okay. His brow furrowed in concern as he thought. Alex wouldn't be up to anything really, and he didn't want her to be sick and all alone all day. Especially with a rambunctious daughter to look after.

Completely ignoring Karen's warning, he called her.

"_Oh my god, Matt!_" Karen was nearly yelling into the phone when he picked it up. Matt cringed as she continued, "_What about 'don't bother me' do you not understand?_"

"Um. Sorry." He floundered for a few seconds, trying to think of a way to phrase the question without sounding completely dodgy. "Where's Alex's flat?"

Karen huffed, "_You're not going to leave me alone until I tell you, I suppose._"

Grinning into the phone, he answered, "Nope."

"_Bloody hell…_" He could almost see her rolling her eyes before she barked the address into the phone and then quickly hung up.

Matt had it all on paper, he quickly grabbed his coat and then texted Alex, hoping he wouldn't wake her up.

_Heard you're still sick, and I hope I'm not waking you up, what do you have? _

His phone buzzed on the way out, and he checked it hurriedly as he snatched his car keys off the table.

_Just the flu, and don't worry, you didn't wake me up :) _

Matt felt utterly stupid when he found himself grinning at the fact that Alex Kingston had put a smiley face in her text. Could he be any more lovesick? He dashed out the door, hopping into his car while he mentally ran through a checklist of things he might need to pick up for her. Peppermints for nausea, he remembered that, chicken noodle soup, Tylenol, tissues, one of those vapor things that cleared your nose…

Several confusing run-ins with sales clerks, enduring the perils of fans, and a fluffy blanket and teddy bear later, Matt was back in his car and on his way to Alex's flat. It suddenly occurred to him that he had no way to get in, hopefully she left it unlocked, and hopefully Alex wasn't the type to get a bat and sneak up on someone who randomly walked into her flat…

He pulled up to the complex. Grabbing all of his items in his arms, he quickly found her door and then knocked. Not hearing anything suggesting he shouldn't go in, he did. He stood there, holding all of his items as he looked around. Alex was nowhere in sight. The flat was roomy enough, spacious, mildly open. There was a tan couch and some end tables and bookshelves with movies and a few knickknacks along with a large TV in the living area. Down the hall were a couple doors to what he assumed were bedrooms and a bathroom. In a rather awkward manner resembling a chipmunk who'd gotten too many nuts, he found her kitchen counter, set his pile of things down, and then whirled to see Alex staring at him like he'd gone completely mad.

Well, this was awkward. He kind of thought she'd be in bed.

"Alex." He managed. Oh, good for you, Matty-boy! You know her name!

She looked equally surprised to see him standing in her kitchen, which, Matt supposed, was merited. "Matt."

Well, now that they'd established that… "Uh…thought I'd… Um. Come over here and see how you were doing." Matt said uncomfortably.

Alex held up a finger and sneezed six times. It was then that he realized just how red her nose seemed in relation to her uncharacteristically pale face. She looked at him with bloodshot eyes and gave him a weak smile, waving it off, "Oh…I'm fine. You should go home, I don't want you to get sick." She rubbed her forehead and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her hair was frizzy and sticking out at odd angles, it kind of looked like a small animal had made a nest in her head, and she was wearing too-big leopard pajama pants and a blue T-shirt. Thank _god_ for that. He was glad he was missing the awkwardness of her potentially wearing something even remotely sexy to bed. Not that he didn't like her pjs, they just weren't that sexy. Which he was totally okay with. Really, what would've happened if she slept naked? Matt blinked and attempted to push away the images and not-so-PG thoughts that was conjuring. Okay. He should stop thinking now.

"Oh. Okay…because…I brought some stuff over, I wasn't sure if you had it and I wanted to be helpful so I-"

Alex interrupted him by dashing off to the bathroom. It was seconds before he could hear her emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Matt instantly ran over, not thinking twice before kneeling next to her and pulling back her unruly curls for her. This was clearly bad, and he really didn't want her to be all alone in her flat sick like this. Salome was nowhere in sight, he supposed she'd gotten someone to watch her, so that was good. Hopefully she'd be better by tomorrow…

He stood to wet a washcloth for her and glance around the tile bathroom counter until he spotted an elastic hair tie. Kneeling again, he passed the washcloth to her and struggled for a few minutes before getting her hair back into a decent, but semi-frizzy ponytail.

"Is it pulling anywhere?" He asked automatically. He _did_ have a sister. This wasn't the first time he'd had to pull back a mop of hair into a ponytail, however… it was the first time with a mop of hair quite like this. Her curls were absolutely fantastic. He hated to admit how much he'd enjoyed taming them…

Alex batted it away, "No… it's fine." She sighed, scrubbing at her face with her hands and swallowing as Matt got up to get her a glass of water. She accepted it, looking up at him and looking slightly flushed and embarrassed, still on the floor. "I'm sorry."

Matt blinked, "About what?"

She chuckled ruefully, "About that. You don't have to mother me, Matt. I'm fine, you should go home so you don't get sick."

He laughed, "Nah, I've got an immune system made of iron and I won't have you all alone up here sick like this." His tone was no-nonsense. He wouldn't admit, though, that however socially awkward he was, he was the biggest mother-hen on the planet when it came to people he cared about. He'd once stayed up all night with Karen when she'd caught a cold from being outside on the wet set. But he realized… he didn't feel quite so protective of Karen as he did over Alex. Had Karen told him to leave, he would've. But right now, he wasn't about to take no for an answer with Alex. He waited for her to finish sipping at the water and then held out his hand, "C'mon, let's get you to bed."

Alex looked like she was about to protest, but she shut her mouth and seemed to think better of it, taking his hand. Matt gently pulled her up, squeezing her hand. Alex looked a little unsteady, so slowly and a little uncertainly, not sure if it was okay or not, he put his other hand on her back to give her a little support. He just barely missed the goose bumps that rose on Alex's neck. He led her carefully into the bedroom. He went slowly so as not to add to her nausea and then reluctantly let go of her so she could lay down.

Being it in his nature, he took the covers and tucked them up around her, watching in satisfaction as she rolled over to her left side, sighing softly in contentment. He glanced about the room, gingerly sweeping the tissues that had been tossed around into a trash can and taking the empty water cup up. He stopped before leaving, looking down at her. He wanted to bend down, to brush aside those few loose curls that had somehow managed to slip out of their holder and press a kiss to the side of her head, to somehow let her know that this was all okay and he didn't mind being here for her. But, he simply licked his lips and shut the light off on the way out, carrying the cup into the kitchen and popping it into the dishwasher.

It actually hurt him that Alex had apologized. It was like she felt she was just some sort of burden or problem that he wanted to fix. Honestly, Matt thought she was perfect the way she was, sick or not. Matt didn't want her to think that she was a project or someone to be pitied. He didn't think he could ever pity her, she was too amazing and incredible and gorgeous to be pitied. He just… he wanted her to know that he _cared_. Maybe some small part of him wanted to show her that he really and truly loved her, for her, not for what she might be able to give him. He just loved her just the way she was, as his insane Alex Kingston, and that she was beautiful to him even when he was pulling her hair back for her while her head was over the toilet.

As an afterthought, he picked up the tissue box and one of the peppermints and walked back to her room. He placed the tissue box quietly within reach on the mahogany night stand, and then sat on the edge of the green bedspread and unwrapped the candy with a crinkle. His hand went to brush her arm gently, not being able to restrain himself from giving her some kind of affection. He hated seeing her like this. She was such a lively, vivacious, amazing woman. Even if it was just the flu, it still made him die a little inside when he saw how tired and lifeless those green eyes of hers seemed right now.

"Hey, this'll help with the nausea, old trick my mum did." He whispered to her, offering the peppermint.

Alex raised a disbelieving eyebrow before taking it and popping it into her mouth. Matt really tried not to focus on her mouth, this was no time to be thinking about that! He gave her a smile and said quietly, "Sleep, k? You'll feel better."

As he got up again, Alex called around her peppermint, "Matt?"

He turned just as she reached out, fingertips brushing with his. Matt's heart jumped, the hair on that arm rising, a tingling sensation spreading up through his hand to the rest of his body as he looked back down at her.

Alex gave him a sleepy ghost of her usual lopsided smile, "Thank you."

His fingers fully wrapped around her own and he squeezed her hand, smiling down at her and nodding awkwardly, he swallowed down everything he wanted to tell her and just settled for, "You're welcome."

He felt her squeeze back, and then Matt repeated, "Sleep, Kingston."

As much as he longed to stay there, her hand in his until she fell asleep, Matt carefully disentangled his fingers from hers and walked out, closing the door carefully behind him.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **You may thank my wandering mind and my babysitting job for this chapter. I was sitting there while my kid played computer games, my mind spacing, when this chapter popped into my head. IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE! *ahem* Anyway, I got a huge grin on my face and my kid kept wanting to know what was so funny. So yes, this chapter is for all of you fluff-lovers out there. Read, die, review.

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13

**You and I**

When Alex woke, the sun was already setting in the western end of Cardiff. She blinked, hopping out of bed as everything came back to her. Matt was here, or had he left yet? He'd taken such great care of her… why? Was she seriously that pathetic? She swallowed, walking to the closet to pick out some real clothes. She felt better, at least, the nausea was mostly gone. Pulling on her jeans with a wiggle and jump, and then tugging a sweater over her head, she stopped at the mirror. She was about to fix her hair, but something in her wouldn't let her. She reached up and twirled a curl around her finger. _Matt_ had put her hair in a ponytail. His gentle, clumsy fingers had ever-so-carefully ran through her hair, dragging a bit over her scalp, and tamed her hair. Her scalp was tingling at the memory. Alex shivered a little and then turned, walking out the door a bit unsteadily. Due to the nausea, she hadn't eaten much that day, so she wasn't feeling exactly chipper.

She ambled out to the kitchen to meet a sight that made her heart melt. Matt was crouched on the floor with Salome, who must've gotten home an hour or two earlier. He had some red ribbon tied around his neck in a bowtie, and his sleeves were rolled up as he pointed a pen at one of her My Little Pony dolls. Salome's hair was teased to kingdom come, her face flushed with excitement. Her hands were folded together into a gun, which she 'aimed' at the toaster. A small smile lit up Alex's face as she quietly leaned in the doorway, watching them, hoping they wouldn't notice her just yet.

"How close is the Dalek, River?" Matt was saying, looking up at Salome.

"Just down the hall, have you hacked into the ship's mainframe yet?" Salome shot back.

Matt shook his head, making puttering 'sonic' sounds as he 'sonicked' the Pony, "Not yet-"

"-but we need to blow up the mothership! Earth'll be invaded if you don't hurry!"

"I know!" He gave one last puttering noise and then hopped up, snatching the pony up, "Got it!" He hopped up, grabbing Salome's hand, "C'mon!"

They ran to the other side of the kitchen, and Salome yelled, "_Exterminate! Exterminate!" _Before switching voices and yelling to Matt, "Doctor! The Daleks!"

Matt stood up and pointed his pen in the direction of the toaster again and making an explosion noise. "River, we've got fifteen seconds!" He ran up to the microwave and started the timer, "We have to defend this escape pod for fifteen seconds!"

Salome held up a hand dramatically, "I got this." She stood up and pointed her 'gun', making blasting noises and turning in a theatric circle as the timer went down.

3… 2…1…

Both Matt and Salome shouted a sound that was supposed to be the ship blowing up as Matt pressed another button on the microwave and 'ejected' the 'escape pod'.

Salome grinned, "Earth is saved!" She gave Matt a high-five.

Matt grinned, "To the TARDIS!"

"To the TARDIS!" She repeated, hopping up. Both stopped when they saw Alex standing there in the hallway with the biggest grin on her face.

"Ah, Kingston! We just saved Earth!"

Alex chuckled a bit at Matt, "From my toaster?"

Salome's mouth dropped open, "No, _mum_, it was a _Dalek Invasion!_"

Alex smiled down at her, "Oh, of course, what was I thinking?"

"Though toasters, I bet Steven could make an alien out of toasters!" Matt said, hopping up to sit on the kitchen island.

Alex rolled her eyes, "You're such a child."

"You love me that way." He replied happily.

Alex shook her head and grinned at him, "Granted."

"Can you stay for dinner, Matty?" Salome begged, tugging on his shirt-sleeve.

Matt hopped off of the counter, "Well, that totally depends on how your mum's feeling." He looked at Alex, "How're you feeling, Kingston?"

Alex smiled at him, "Much better, thank you."

"-So can he stay for dinner?" Salome asked again.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Yes."

Salome squealed happily and hugged Alex, "Coolest mum, ever!" She then walked off to her room to do god-knows-what. "I'm going to go tell Matt the Cricket!" The door closed behind her.

Matt blinked, "Matt the Cricket?"

"Long story." Alex walked over to the cupboards and started pulling things out for dinner. "You didn't have to watch her for me, but thank-you." Her heart was still fluttering with warm fuzzies from the way he'd been playing with Salome, but she did feel bad that he hadn't woken her. He was doing so much more than he needed to do.

Matt shrugged, "No problem, hey." He stopped her mid-grab of a spaghetti box, "Go sit down, I can make dinner."

Alex pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm perfectly capable of making dinner, Matt."

He chuckled, "So am I."

"You're a guest."

"Who invited himself over."

"To take care of me."

"Because I care about you."

Alex's entire mind went blank. She stood there like an idiot, looking up at him with wide eyes. He _cared_. She shouldn't be amazed by that as much as she was. She stared at his twinkling blue eyes as he looked back, his hand still covering hers on the pasta box. She sputtered to think of something to say to that. But she couldn't.

Their noses had somehow ended up mere millimeters from each other when Matt smiled, "I win." He whispered. Slowly, he lowered the pasta to the counter and then let go, putting a hand on her shoulder and pushing her gently in the direction of the kitchen table, "Sit."

Alex swallowed and looked away from him, backing up and walking over to the kitchen. She pulled the chair out and sat, resting her elbows on the table. Matt reached over and got a kettle she hadn't noticed had been hot and poured her a cup of tea. He walked over and set down the mug. Alex's scalp tingled when he squeezed her shoulder gently.

"You up for spaghetti or do you want me to make you some soup?" He asked her as he walked over to the cupboards, making himself perfectly at home rummaging around in them.

It took her a few minutes to decide. Honestly, she didn't want to make him make a different meal for her, but on the other hand, she really wasn't sure if her stomach would be prepared to handle a full dinner. Her thumb rubbed thoughtful circles on her mug before she replied, "Soup would be great, actually."

Matt smiled at her, "Soup it is!" He reached down and pulled out a stainless steel pan and poured a can of chicken noodle soup into it, adding the necessary extra can of water and turning the burner on. Alex watched him, sipping on her tea as he put the noodles into a pan of water to cook and browned the hamburger.

She wouldn't have labeled Matt Smith as much of a cooker, and to be fair, he really wasn't. He was more like an awkward baby giraffe as he ambled about the kitchen, hitting his head on her hanging pots and managing to stub one of his toes on the island. She tried not to giggle, she really did, but it was hard. He turned on the radio, tuning it until he found his favorite station, and then galloped about as he poured the sauce into the pan. Alex was really not trying to think about the amusing way his rear was twitching back and forth in time to the beat. Honestly, Matt was an adorable, odd species of man, and the more Alex saw of him in a domestic environment, the more she found herself getting attached. Not like she needed help with that. She was excessively twitter-painted already.

He picked up the spoon, singing into it while grinning impishly at Alex, "_Ohhhhhhh this has gotta the good life, this has gotta be the good life, this could really be a good life, good life…" _

Alex laughed, shaking her head. Matt grinned wider, "Come on, sing with me."

"You're a terrible dancer." Alex countered, avoiding his command.

Matt raised one hurt eyebrow, "Oi! You didn't think so at the club."

Alex blushed. She'd been _trying to forget_ about that night! "Shut up."

He shook his head, winking at her, "Never."

She rolled her eyes and stood, walking over to refill her teacup, "You're impossible."

"I try." He reached over and turned the burner down on the sauce, which was by now just simmering. The song switched. Salome burst out of her room.

"I love this song!" She bounced along to it before Matt laughed and then took her hand.

"Then dance with me."

She grinned, "Okay!"

He set down the spoon and took both of her hands as they started to bounce along to the music like a pair of insane ducks. "Your mum thinks I'm a terrible dancer."

"You are." Salome replied.

"Oi!" Matt looked hurt.

Salome giggled and continued to dance with him as the sauce bubbled and the noodles steamed. Alex sipped on her tea, watching them, feeling something spinning through this kitchen that she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

_Family. _


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling)** Welcome and happy Monday to you all!So instead of being a patriotic American and watching the Olympics in my free time I decided to write this for you. ;) Hope ya'll are happy! (Besides, I'm annoyed that there was barely anything related to WHO in the opening ceremony. I mean, Mary Poppins defeating Voldemort, but no Doctor? Britain, are you_ drunk_?) Anyway, I'm done with my personal rant. Hope you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful next couple of days until I see you all again ;) Don't forget to tell me how I did, yell at me for ranting in my author's note, or just say hi. I'm only human, I love to hear from my readers! (Don't we all?)

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14

**Where Ever You Like**

He was going to do it. He was going to work up the necessary pluck and tell Alex that he was now single and ask her if she wanted to go out sometime. He was. He seriously was.

Matt kept trying to convince himself of that as he drove into work that morning. Alex had felt infinitely better the night before, and he'd texted her this morning the check up on her. She'd replied in all of her smiley-faced glory that she was feeling just chipper and would be returning to work today. Matt had tried to hide the obvious excitement at that, but it was nearly impossible. After all, he got to come to work and flirt with the most attractive woman on earth all day, did it get much better than that?

He chuckled softly, pulling into a parking space and pocketing his car-keys. Today ought to be quite… interesting. They were filming the first couple of scenes in The Pandorica Opens, and Matt had heard some spoilers. Spoilers like Jenna putting Alex in a Cleopatra outfit. He giggled. Oh god, why was he giggling?

It was just that- thinking about Alex in a Cleopatra outfit was so bizarre. How were they planning on fixing her hair? He hoped that they weren't going to straighten it. He loved her hair. He loved the way it was mad and untamed and wild and gorgeous, just like her. He loved how big and curly and utterly bouncy it was. Matt thought that if he could, he would spend an entire afternoon with her on a couch, just lazily running his fingers through her hair. He'd stay there with her, twisting curls and spirals around his fingers, pulling at them gently just to watch, fascinated, as they sprang back into place. His fingers would graze the back of her neck. She would shiver. Their eyes would meet and he'd give her a smile, and she'd grin demurely back, one hand resting on his chest…

He was daydreaming again. Matt realized this chiefly because he tripped over the curb. He hadn't even noticed his legs were moving on automatic in one direction while his mind and heart were going off by themselves. If this was any indication for how the day would be going, they'd be having a lot of retakes.

Pushing the doors open to the set, he made a beeline for the coffee-pot. He whisked Alex's Dalek mug off of the hanger (she wouldn't mind, anyway), and filled it with the fragrant liquid. Then, he slowly ambled over to where Karen and Arthur were reviewing their lines.

"Morning." He said, grinning as he sat down, "How is everybody?"

"Excellent!" Karen replied with a smile, "Did you see the script?" Matt raised an eyebrow at her. They'd done a read-through… that slowly registered in Karen's mind and she blinked, "Oh! Wait. Stupid question. Never mind." She bounced a bit in her chair, leaning forward, "I get to meet mini-me!"

Matt laughed, "I get to wear a fez!"

"Oh shut up, Alex shoots the fez like, two seconds after you've got it." Karen reminded him, sipping on her coffee.

Matt huffed, "Don't remind me."

"I get to-" Arthur began. He then paused, not remembering if there was anything cool he got to do. He flipped through the script, and his face fell, "Die. Again?"

Karen punched him gently in the arm, "Oh cheer up, dying is very… important… isn't it Matt?" She nudged Matt for support.

Matt nodded seriously, trying to encourage his friend, "Oh yes, you know, who else would die if it weren't for you? I mean, we can't kill Amy off, because Kazza's job would be over, and we can't kill the Doctor, because- obviously- he'd regenerate and then my job would be over, and the same with Kingston."

"And yet Steven still finds ways to kill me off without my job being over." Arthur muttered around his mug. He would not be placated it seemed. Matt couldn't blame him. It seemed every other important episode Rory was dying of something. What had the character ever done to Moffat to warrant being killed that many times over?

Matt swirled his coffee around in his cup and then heard the door to the set swing open. He looked up, and there was Alex, looking absolutely gorgeous as ever. Matt wouldn't admit it, but his mouth was watering slightly as she sashayed up, that wonderfully ridiculous head of hair bouncing. Her clothes today brought out those matchless eyes, her figure was absolutely smashingly defined in them, and she had Matt absolutely dumbstruck. One would never know she'd looked like death warmed over the day before. Though, of course, he'd never tell her that!

"What did I miss?" She said cheerily as she sat down. When she glanced Matt's way, she said in a scolding tone, "Matt, that's my mug."

"I'm borrowing it." Matt replied, "As payback."

"I wasn't aware there was payback for yesterday." She replied, quirking an eyebrow.

Of course, there wasn't, they both knew that. But they enjoyed bickering far too much. "Of course there is."

"What happened yesterday, hm?" Karen asked, leaning her chin on her fist as she stared at the two.

"Um…" Matt scratched his cheek.

Alex waved it off, "Matt simply came over and watched Salome for me while I was sick, was all." She didn't mention half of what had gone on that day. Had it simply been that unimportant? No, Matt chided himself, he was being insecure. Alex wasn't like that. He knew she'd appreciated it, and he was happy he could have helped her out a bit. "So, what did I miss?" She repeated, effectively changing the subject.

"Oh, we were just discussing our…" Karen searched for the word, "The cool things we get to do this episode."

"Ah! Well, I get to dress up as Cleopatra." Alex said, settling back in her chair and grinning with a maddeningly smug look on her face.

"-and shoot the fez." Matt muttered dejectedly.

Arthur groused, "See, why does she get to do two awesome things when I just get to die?" He wadded up a piece of paper and tossed it into the nearby bin.

"Because she's Steven's favorite." Karen said matter-of-factly.

"Yep." Alex replied with mock-superiority dripping from her voice. She glanced at Arthur, "Don't look so down about it. Steven doesn't hate you, he just likes to think of killing you in various, evil ways." She grinned at him and batted her eyelashes.

Arthur huffed, still pretending to be annoyed, "You know, most actors only have one bloody death scene! But no, I land the job where I'm dying left and right, and still come back for an encore!"

Matt leaned back in his chair, "Oh, don't worry, one of these days Rory'll die for real."

His friend rolled his eyes, "Thanks, I feel so much better now."

"Welcome!" Matt grinned cheekily.

* * *

Filming had gone well. They were just about to pack up for the day. Matt was wiping his makeup off, Arthur was headed to his trailer to watch Iron Man with Karen, and Alex was still around somewhere. Which meant he could still borrow her sometime. His heart was fluttering, a small band of rabid monkeys had made their home in his stomach, and he felt like he was going absolutely stark raving mad. This shouldn't be this hard! Yet, he still felt like he was the tall geek in high school that was asking the prettiest girl around to be his girlfriend. Actually, wait… no, strike that. Matt swallowed. He wasn't going to ask that. He was just going to casually let her know he was open.

Matt blinked. Would that be awkward? Yes, yes it definitely would be. Considering the fact that letting her know that he was open would be hinting at the fact that he wanted to be with her, and he was pretty sure that this conversation would probably consist of him informing Alex he was available and then prolonged stares, nods, and so-yeah's. Matt grimaced. This really wasn't going to be so easy after all. Maybe he should just… take her to dinner? No, but that was like a date, and they weren't ready for datey-things. The only trouble was, he couldn't think of anything they could do that wouldn't be datey, that would somehow have a conversation that involved him telling her he was nonchalantly available, and not be awkward. The closest he could get was a conversation in the parking lot, and that wasn't necessary free of… well…awkwardness.

Knowing Alex and him, if it did end up being awkward, they'd probably just laugh it off and get over it. But he still just felt this strange aversion to telling her. What would happen? How would she react? What would she think? Was he being to forward? Matt huffed and stared at himself in the mirror. This whole getting-started-in-a-relationship business was terribly difficult…

Finally, he turned on his heel and walked over to where Alex was. Alex looked up at him from where she was bent over her bag, hunting for something.

"Hey! You heading out for the night?"

"Actually-" Oh to hell with it, "Do you want to go out for a walk through town?" Oh that sounded dodgy, "You know, Kaz and Arthur are watching Ironman and I'm not invited- so… I figured we-?"

There was a fond smile playing at the corners of Alex's mouth as she looked at him, "Sure, I mean, let me see if Cailen minds staying a bit later-"

Matt's heart sped as she fished out her phone. "Oh! Yeah, sure." _Please be yes, please be yes_.

Alex quickly texted Cailen as Matt watched intently, on edge. Cailen was quick to reply. Alex looked up at him and grinned brightly, "She doesn't mind!"

Matt tried to hide how stupidly happy he was, "Brilliant!"

Alex shouldered her bag, "So, where to, Smith?"

"Anywhere you'd like, Kingston."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Yay! Nice to see you all again! Gather around my couch for a free cup of tea and a cookie :) Glad you all could make it for another chapter, and a very warm welcome. There are a few things I'd like to say in response to a review I got. In chapter 14, I said they were filming "The Pandorica Opens", somebody mentioned to me that that isn't part of series 5. I just want to clear up that "The Pandorica Opens" _is_ part of series five, it, along with the "Big Bang" are the last two episodes of that series, and therefore Matt and Alex would be filming it. Also, with the comment Kaz makes about meeting the "Mini-me", I'm aware they're cousins, but in the series, Amy hasn't met little-Amy yet, and in that scene, the actors are referring to their characters as themselves half the time, like Arthur saying that he gets to "die". I hope I cleared that up :)

Anyway, this chapter was supposed to be all fluffy, but it ended up being super angsty and hurt-comfort-y, so I apologize for that. The next few chapters after should be more fluffy. :) Have fun reading, and don't kill me! Read and Review! (And put your dishes in the sink on your way out)

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15

**Burned Again**

A breeze ruffled Alex's hair as she walked arm-in-arm with Matt around a grey lake. The water lapped at the shore. The lake was a curious thing to see in the middle of Cardiff, but it was a natural body of water, and so had been preserved and built around, rather than destroyed to make way for the city. It made a nice little park, and vendors frequently stopped here to sell hot dogs or ice cream or any other random thing. There was a little cuppa shop as well, and that was where they were headed.

Matt's request had been a welcome surprise. Alex was, by nature, quite a social creature. The long nights alone at home had started to wear on her. She loved Salome dearly, but she was accustomed to having friends or family to go out with often. Here in Cardiff, she didn't. She just had Salome, and the occasional invitation from the Three Musketeers. But now, that had changed. Now she had Matt.

Now that she thought about it, however, Alex wasn't sure if this walk was really a good idea. Daisy had already gotten upset with Matt once, what would she think of this? She looked up at Matt. They'd fallen into pleasant silence, content to just be in each other's company, which she liked, oddly enough. Florian had always been a talker.

"Matt?" she asked, breaking the easy quiet between them.

"Yeah?" His gaze returned to hers, and it just about made her heart stop at the way a gentle smile lit up his face when he looked at her, eyes sparkling like an excited schoolboy.

She bit her lip, looking down at the pavement as they walked, "You sure this is okay with Daisy? Us, alone, going for coffee?"

Matt took a heavy sigh, the question obviously having struck a chord with him. "Daisy and I aren't together anymore."

Alex's head snapped up, "What?"

A million things were running through her mind. It'd been her fault, hadn't it? He, the daft boy, had asked her to dance and Daisy'd been upset with him. She knew that much. But- had she really been responsible for ending a relationship that Matt had been happy in? Her hands suddenly felt cold, and she wrapped her arms around herself as she looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. Icy, damp guilt was seeping into her. It was an all-to-familiar feeling. Alex was accustomed to guilt. It, along with regret, were her constant companions, and she desperately didn't want another pang of _that_ added to her towering pile. She swallowed hard as Matt stopped walking.

He turned towards her, taking her by the wrists and unwrapping her. His warm hands encompassed hers. "It's not your fault, Kingston."

Damn, was the man a mind reader now? "But- I- thought you two were happy…" she stumbled over her words.

"And we were, it was just-" His face swam as he sought the correct words, "She decided it was time to move on."

"Because of me." Alex said softly.

"Yes – N-no!" Matt's eyes clenched shut, his lips pursing together, "No." His eyes opened again, and he looked at Alex, squeezing her hands, "Trust me- that's- it wasn't like that, Alex." He sighed, pulling her over to sit down on a nearby bench so he could explain it in full. "We never really meant for our relationship to be permanent, you have to understand that, it- it was just-"

"Casual?" Alex filled in for him when his own words ran out.

He nodded, "Yes, thanks. We had boundaries, never talking about the future, crap like that-" He trailed off, trying to think.

Even though he was trying so desperately hard to make her understand this wasn't her fault, Alex still felt it was. Wasn't everything? Her failed marriages, her failed adoptions… those had been her fault, hadn't they? She burned what was close to her, Salome being a prime example. Her heart was twisting at the thought that perhaps she was doing it to Matt as well.

She couldn't remember when this overwhelming feeling of guilt that constantly hung over her had started. Probably with her last failed adoption. She could still remember every biting remark, every fight she and her husband had volleyed back and forth. Each thing he'd said had stuck with her over these years. He left her because _she _was the one that'd pushed for the adoption. _She_ was the one that wanted en-vitro, _she_ was the one who'd failed, it was _her _fault, and he hadn't wanted to pick up her mess when _she'd_ failed.

Alex was mortified when she realized that her eyes were beginning to mist over. God, not now, of all times! She wasn't even hormonal! She looked away from him, fighting to keep her lower lip from trembling. A lump had made its home in her throat, and she desperately tried to swallow it. Stop it! Alex! This wasn't the time or the place to start having all of those stupid, self-pitying thoughts that always drove her to tears! Matt was trying to make her feel, better, bless him, and her treacherous heart just wasn't cooperating.

Her hands were trembling in his with the effort to rein in her emotions. She was snowballing, she knew it. She knew herself. If Alex let herself go there, it would be a long, slippery, difficult climb back out. She could be stuck there for weeks. She could be stuck there forever, at the rate this was going.

"Alex?"

Matt's voice tugged her gently out of her own, slippery thoughts. A finger was placed under her chin, prodding her eyes back to him. Her eyes were still wide, prickling at the edges with tears. She suddenly became aware of the fact that she'd been absolutely silent for a good five minutes. Matt was looking at her with concern and surprise, obviously not expecting such a sudden and unforeseen reaction from her. He almost looked disturbed and hurt at how upset she must seem. Alex angrily scrubbed at the tears, shaking her head,

"S-sorry, I-I'm fine." She mentally kicked herself for how thick and small her voice was. That didn't come out like she'd intended at all. Her eyes fell back down to her lap. Her fingers pulled out of his and she began to fiddle with them, staring down intently so she could look anywhere but his face.

She watched as his large, lanky, clumsy hands covered hers. His timbre voice spoke again, softly and gently, "I know you're not."

No. He wasn't supposed to be this tender with her. He wasn't supposed to be this stupidly amazing. He wasn't supposed to treat her with this much amount of care and respect. She'd ruined his relationship with Daisy, he'd stayed a whole day with her with her head over the toilet, he'd danced with her so she could manage to enjoy herself at Arthur's birthday party. He'd made her soup, and watched her daughter. He wasn't supposed to be this bloody incredible. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve him. She was an unnecessary burden, she had nothing to give him in return. This wasn't fair to him…This so, so very wrong. Yet it was so right.

Her whole life Alex had wanted her prince. Now he'd come, and she wasn't ready for him.

That lump in her throat grew impossibly when he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. He didn't even know what was wrong, and what was incredible was that he didn't have to. He was just _there._ She sniffled quietly, taking deep breaths and staring up at the sky in an attempt to calm herself. God, if any press were around… she could just see the headlines now: MATT SMITH COMFORTS ALEX KINGSTON AFTER EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN.

She felt Matt's hands tentatively rubbing up and down her back, like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be hugging her. She tightened her grip on him, letting him know that this was okay, that, goddammit, she needed this hug, and she needed it from him.

In response, his grip tightened as well and he whispered again, "None of this is your fault, Alex. I chose this, okay? Daisy and I did together."

Alex hiccupped softly, burying her face in his shoulder. She shouldn't be as emotionally screwed over by this whole thing as she was, she knew. But guilt had always been a touchy subject for her. She'd destroyed so much… to hear Matt say again, with so much sincerity, that nothing was her fault was…well…

She'd never had anyone tell her that before. Not besides Salome, and Salome didn't really count, bless her heart. She'd been eight. Bloody _eight_. An_ eight year old_ telling her mum that the divorce wasn't her fault. That she'd tried. She knew Matt probably thought her ridiculous, even insane, for having an emotional breakdown over his break up with Daisy_._ For crying out loud, she was practically hysterical, in her own quiet way. There was no way he ever would ever understand what could make her break down into tears like this.

"I know you probably aren't ready to hear this, Alex, but-" She could feel him swallow against her, his heartbeat quicken, "What I took you out here to tell you was… I chose you."

Alex's eyes widened, her heart stopping. She pulled back from him. "What?" she breathed. "Why on earth-"

He stopped her, "Because you're bloody fantastic, Alex Kingston, and I love you."

She blinked, trying to form a coherent thought while processing what he was apparently trying to tell her. "But- don't you think this is a little early after-"

"-It's okay. I'm ready-" He interrupted her again, squeezing her hands, "But- are you? Because… if you're not then it's okay, I'll wait for you until you are…" He bit his lip, looking away in momentary shyness, "I mean do you even-?"

"Shut up." Alex said quickly before he could finish his thought. "I want to be with you Matt-" she said carefully, picking her way through her words. Could she say yes?

Matt looked at her hopefully, and she almost couldn't resist him, almost.

But if tonight was any indication… She was in no condition to go galloping off with another man. She was on that cliff again, staring over at Matt sitting across from her. He'd said he'd wait… but would he?

Alex bit her lip. "I-I don't think I'm ready yet," she admitted softly.

Matt's face fell, but then his thumbs drew circles on the backs of her hands, "That's alright."

"I-I'm so-"

He pressed a finger to her lips, "Don't apologize, Kingston. I wouldn't have it any other way right now. I can't begin to imagine what's going on in that head of yours…but I want you to know that I'll always be here, because you're worth it."

Was she?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Here we are again! Hello! First off, I'd like to say I'm amazed by the huge spike of traffic this story has gotten. I'm surprised that people like what comes out of my horribly demented brain so much! This really is one the most enjoyable projects I have going now, and I'd like to inform you all that you're in the hands of a terribly inexperienced romance writer, as this is my first multi-chapter romance I've ever written. Not a year ago I never would've touched the genre, and now I'm practically writing a romance novel. Strange, eh?

Well anyway, I'm done with my random anecdote for the day. Grab a tea and cookie and enjoy the fic! Don't forget to leave me a review, I love those, they literally make my day :)

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16

**Matt Smith Has Coordination **

**(No, really)**

The filming had switched locations again, and so Matt had been obliged to move back into his flat. It was a modern, roomy thing, with a kitchen that was almost never used and an extra bedroom that was never used and a TV and microwave that were constantly in use. Except when Alex came over. When Alex came over, the TV was usually off until it got late, and the stove was used to make dinner, and the sidewalk in front of his flat was in use by a pair of little feet in old inline-skates.

When Salome had first spied the pair of skates in a box in his entryway, she'd begged Matt to teach her to use them. Matt had a few pairs. One he'd kept from when he was a kid, a few others of varying sizes that used to be his sister's or his, respectively. His sister hadn't wanted them, and he'd kept them for old time's sake. Currently, he and Salome were giggling and laughing as they slipped along the pavement, him steadily and skillfully rolling along beside her, and her stomping around with a firm grip on his arm, trying to figure out just exactly how one was supposed to do this without falling on her bum.

A playful breeze ruffled Salome's hair as her grip on Matt tightened. Her lips were pursed in concentration as she attempted to slide along the way Matt was. Alex was sitting on the curb, watching in bemusement, and Matt was trying not to be distracted by the way her blue eyes grew so much brighter and infinitely bluer outside and how her curls were currently set on fire into a golden halo from the way the sun was hitting them. She was absolutely gorgeous in that oversized sweatshirt and jeans, her hair thrown up into a messy bun with stray curls hanging out every which way, her face bare from makeup save for a bit of mascara and gloss. Right now, Matt thought she was just as beautiful as she was in her little black dress and heels. It didn't matter. It was _Alex._ She was _here, _and she knew that he had feelings for her.

And she didn't mind.

And she had feelings for him.

"Matty!" Salome nearly gasped, legs starting to splay apart a bit because she hadn't gotten the hang of controlling where her feet went when they were in wheels.

Matt chuckled and stopped, easily and, surprisingly, gracefully skating around so he was facing Salome. He gently gripped her small hands to keep her upright, "There, now just stomp your left one in a bit… there you go." He laughed as she did with a bit of difficulty. "You're doing great, Salamander. Ready?" He asked her, once she'd gotten her balance back.

Salome nodded, "Ready." She took a deep breath as Matt let go of her left hand and skated back over to her side.

He pushed forward with one foot and pulled her along carefully, biting back a smile when she tried to get away with just being towed. "You have to use your feet or you're going to fall over." He admonished quietly.

Salome sighed, "I fall over anyway!"

"Oh, you'll get the hang of it. One of these days I'll just let go so I can see how you do without me."

Salome's grip on him tightened, "Don't you _dare_."

Matt laughed outright as their wheels skidded on the pavement, his smoothly, hers not so much. "I was teasing. Don't worry, I won't let go of you. I've got you."

Frankly, it surprised him and actually filled him with pride to know that Alex trusted him to take care of a skittish, eight-wheeled Salome. There Alex sat on the curb, looking completely relaxed and not the least bit anxious as he held onto Salome's hand and guided her over the cracks on the pavement. It shouldn't give him that much pleasure, but it did. Alex trusted him with her daughter. She knew that he'd make sure Salome was okay. That, to him, meant a lot. He knew Alex absolutely adored Salome. The kid was a big part of her life, and she was forever planning around her to make sure that she and Salome got enough time together and that she wasn't pushing Salome off to the side. He just wished that somehow he could help. Raising a kid, let alone an 11-year-old girl, was a big load to carry all by oneself. It wasn't really his place to help just yet, but he hoped that someday it would be. Right now, though, he'd settle for what she allowed him to do.

"Alright," he said presently, noticing Salome was starting to get a bit out of breath with the effort of balancing and pushing one foot in front of the other, "I think it'd time to go in for dinner." He pulled her over to the curb and kept her steady while she plunked down. Matt knelt and unlaced her skates for her so she could easily pull them off. They tended to get quite tight.

"I think I'm getting better!" Salome announced, looking at Alex.

Alex grinned and ran a hand through her daughter's hair affectionately, "You are."

Salome gave a massive tug on her skate, and it finally came off with a bit of a pop and landed on the pavement with a light, plastic clack. She did the same for the other skate.

Matt landed ungracefully on his bum in the grass and brutally attacked his skates until they came off, "like I said, not long now before you're skating by yourself," he said happily.

"It'll be a while." Salome said with gloom.

"Oi, you only fell twice today," Alex replied, "That's an improvement."

"Yeah," Matt chimed in, gathering up his skates by the laces and throwing one gangly leg over the curb, sitting and looking absolutely ridiculous because his legs came up nearly to his chest when he sat so close to the ground, "I mean, if I can skate… you can skate."

Alex chuckled, "I'm surprised you even have the coordination to do so, you rarely open the door at the set without smacking yourself in the head or stubbing your toe on the doorframe."

Matt pretended to be hurt, "Hey! I have very good coordination, thank you."

"Mm, and I'm sure that goes along with your good rhythm, as well."

"My good rhythm has absolutely nothing to do with this. I can dance perfectly fine, thank you." Matt groused.

Alex smirked as she stood, "Oh, I wasn't talking about your rhythm in _dancing_, darling." She quirked a suggestive eyebrow.

Matt's mouth fell open at the insinuation, "Alexandra Kingston!"

"Dinner awaits!" She called back, walking up to the flat with Salome in tow.

Huffing in indignation, realizing he felt extremely hot and that his face was probably bright crimson, he cursed the name of Kingston and her gorgeous hair and then followed Alex up to his flat.

Salome took Matt's hand and dragged him into the kitchen as Toby, Matt's golden retriever, bounded up to Alex and hopped up on two legs and tried to give her a dog-hug, assaulting her face with his tongue, his tail wagging furiously.

Alex sank to the floor, dissolving into a puddle of giggles as she wrapped her arms around the golden and gave him a hug, "Hello to you too! I just saw you not half an hour ago!"

That didn't matter to Toby, as Matt well knew. He was obsessed with Alex because Alex always returned his affection. Salome loved the dog too, just not as much as Alex. Alex and Toby seemed absolutely made for each other, down to the color of their respective hair and fur. She scratched him enthusiastically around the ears as Toby practically writhed with joy, tongue lolling out and a big doggy grin on his face as he looked up at her in absolute worship.

Alex then let him go, and Toby followed her into the kitchen, claws clacking on the floor. She washed her hands and then leaned against the counter, taking a green, fiesta-ware plate from Matt. As Matt watched the girls get their food, he couldn't help but realize just how much more whole in his life since they'd started coming over. Before, even with Daisy and Toby, he still usually had to go home to an empty trailer or an even more empty flat. But now with Alex and Salome in the picture, he felt so much more… well… just _more._ Everything was brighter and better and fuller, as cliché as it was.

She'd started visiting his flat more often in the few days after the lake, and he'd returned the favor. They weren't really in a so-called "relationship" yet, acting more like good friends than anything else. Alex had told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and Matt would force himself to keep a respectful distance until she was.

They sat down to dinner, and the friendly banter soon turned on Alex when Salome brought up a little known fact.

"Mum doesn't know how to inline-skate, either," she announced.

Matt's eyes went wide and he just about dropped his fork for the sake of drama, "Kingston! How old are you?"

Alex looked up at him sheepishly, "Somewhere over twenty, I think?"

"And you don't know how to inline-skate?! Tsk, tsk." He shook his head. "I'll have to teach you too."

She shook her head, waving it off, "Oh I don't think that-"

"Mum, you should! Then we can all skate together!"

"Mm, yes," Matt said, popping a forkful of rice into his mouth and smiling at her smugly, "Then you can find out for yourself how good my coordination and _rhythm_ are."

Alex flushed and coughed into her glass of water, "I'm sure your coordination and rhythm's fantastic, Matt."

"Just like you know I'm sexy?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.

She sputtered, glancing at Salome and then back at Matt. Salome was absolutely no help, bless her heart, she had no idea what the two adults at the table were referring to. "What has that got to do with-?"

Matt smiled at her, "Absolutely nothing, Salamander, I'm just teasing your mum."

"Oh." Salome grinned and then took a big bite of chicken, "Well, she's blushing, so I say you're doing a good job of it."

Alex was giving Matt a lethal glare from atop her glass, and Matt simply gave her a look that he hoped was something akin to infuriating, "I win."

She huffed and snatched up her dishes, "Not a chance."

"So, are you going to teach Mum to inline skate?" Salome asked, carrying her dishes over as well.

Matt nodded, "Yup."

"Nope!" Alex called from over at the sink.

"Oh come on, Kingston! Be a good sport!" He replied.

She huffed, still pretending, at least he hoped pretending, to be cross with him, "Fine."

* * *

All cross-ness was soon dissolved once Alex got her skates on and the initial trial of actually getting to her feet ensued. Matt had a firm hold on her forearms while Salome watched from the side-lines, cheering.

Finally, in a slippery, terribly wriggly, giggling mess, Alex was on two feet. Matt was trying not to think about how much he was enjoying this. Alex was so squirmy when she didn't have her balance, and her being this squirmy against him was a little… arousing… as much as he hated to admit it. This was going to take quite a lot of self-control on his part, he just knew.

Alex looked up at him, blue eyes bright and laughing, "Alright, now what?"

Matt grinned at her, taking his thoughts away from the current flush of his hairline and the warm that'd been rushing through his veins. He'd taken off his skates for this, since Alex was a great deal bigger than Salome and he'd probably need to be steady on his feet to keep her upright. It could be awkward if they landed in a heap together on the pavement. They'd done enough landing on top of each other to last a lifetime already! He felt himself blushing again and steered his thoughts back to the task at hand.

"Now… you…" he nudged one of her be-wheeled feet with his, "slide that one forward, and then the other one- and yup- there you go."

Alex was slowly skittering along the pavement, her grip on Matt tight as she concentrated on not looking like a perfect idiot while doing this. Matt had to admit the woman had one hell of a grip. He stopped her more than once to gently remind her to look at him, not her feet. If she was going to get anywhere, she'd need to keep her eyes forward.

"You're doing great, Alex." He praised. She was catching onto it much faster than Salome. "All that walking in high heels must make this easier or something," he said in a teasing tone, not realizing that his thumbs were rubbing circles on the backs of her hands as she held onto him.

Alex chuckled, shaking her head, "I doubt it." She squealed slightly when she tipped a bit, and Matt easily caught her, laughing.

"Don't worry, I've got you." Matt's grip on her was firm, one arm now on the small of her back. He felt her tremble a bit has his fingers brushed across her skin through the fabric of her sweatshirt, and he licked his lips, feeling heat spread through him again. Dammit, she was so close to him right now he could smell her. She was wearing the peony perfume again, her favorite, and she also had the vague scent of late-afternoon coffee lingering about her. It was driving him absolutely mad. The annoying thing was he couldn't stop looking at her to ease his discomfort- or rather- his apparent enjoyment and discomfort at his own enjoyment, he had to keep looking at Alex so she'd look at him and not fall over.

"This is harder than being in heels," Alex commented, giving him a shaky smile.

"I would differ, but I've never exactly worn heels," Matt replied, grinning impishly as his grip on her loosened slightly. She was doing fine now, thank god. He could have less of him touching her. It wasn't that he didn't want to touch Alex. It was quite the opposite. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to have his hands all over her, skating over her back and finding all of her sensitive points while he kissed the living daylights out of her… which was why he desperately needed to take a deep breath and touch just her hands. If he touched anywhere else, he swore he'd combust. It was just that she was so _close_, and so _happy, _and _wiggly_.

Okay, from the way she was more or less smoothly skating, she was ready to do this on her own. Not to mention, he really needed a few-second breather. This close proximity thing was literally beginning to singe him. He couldn't even think correctly. Damn Alex for having this effect on him! Alex squealed again when he let go and ambled a few feet away from her, "Matt? What are you doing?" She looked around herself, stock-still, like a deer in the headlights.

Matt, however, was perfectly confident in her new-found abilities, "Just skate over to me." He said, "use your arms for balance, I know you can do it."

"But-" She bit her lip, glancing down at the pavement.

"-I'll be right there if you fall, trust me."

Alex looked up at him, nodded and took a deep breath, and pushed her right foot forward. Then her left foot, then her right foot. Matt watched, feeling all warm and fuzzy from the way an enormous grin was spreading across her face. Was this the way parents felt when their toddler finally learned how to walk?

"You're doing it, Mum!" Salome yelled excitedly from the curb.

A few more shaky pushes across the pavement, and Alex landed, all limp and noodle-y in Matt's arms. She was giggling madly, and he was laughing as he held her. "Told you you could do it, Kingston," he said softly, grinning proudly down at her. Ah yes, and she was less wriggly now, which was a help. He refrained from the desire to run his fingers through her glorious hair as he held her.

"Scariest thing I've done in my life."

"Oh, I doubt that." Matt laughed and pulled her over to the curb.

The funny thing was, it wasn't the fact that he taught Alex to skate that got him. It wasn't how happy she looked while doing it, even. It wasn't the way she'd held his hand or the way that grin had lit up her face when she'd realized she could skate on her own, and it definitely wasn't the way all he could think about was her and her body when she was that close to him. It was the fact that when she'd put her first foot forward on her own, without him holding onto her, she'd trusted him to be there if she fell.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: (Just because I feel this chapter needs one) **Okay, I really don't know how the hell Alex's whole adoption thing worked out or what her relationship with her husband was like. This probably doesn't reflect it in any way, but I wanted to use it this way for the purposes of the story (and I do have my own suspicions about each of her individual marriages... but I won't get into those here). Okay? Are we good now?

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **I apologize for this one not being up early today, and I'm sure most of you won't get to it until tomorrow or later, but I ended up having a bad reaction to some medication my doctor gave me (fever, headache, no brain-power, exhausted-ness... general not-fun-ness) so I didn't make it to the site until now. I also found this chapter extremely difficult to write- not because my muse wasn't working- but because I just wanted to reach through the screen and give Alex a hug. Why am I so evil? ANYWAY, please enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review, those are much appreciated! :) **  
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17

**Tell All My Secrets to You**

Matt had accompanied them home that night, per Alex not really wanting the evening to end. She never did when Matt was around. He carried with him a sense of completeness in her life that she was rarely accustomed to. They'd put Salome to bed with some difficulty, and then Matt had almost made it out the door when she had asked him to stay a little while longer. The longer she could drag out their moments alone together, the better. Now, they were seated on the couch, her curled against his side, him with an arm wrapped around her shoulders while they watched the late-night news.

A small part of Alex wondered how much Matt knew about her past relationships. She knew much of it had been all over the news and those awful celebrity magazines one found in the grocery aisle… but she kind of hoped he didn't know as much as she feared. Her divorces were common knowledge – the reasons for them, not as much. She'd thought Ralph had been 'the one'… how wrong could a girl be? He'd been an absolute prick, borderline abusive at times… and even now she still couldn't really talk about her marriage to him without hedging around it.

She leaned into Matt's shoulder and chuckled softly when one of the reporters made a mistake, and then looked up at him, "Hey, do want some ice-cream or something? I have some Ben&Jerry's in the freezer."

He smiled, "Sure."

Alex got up and retrieved strawberry for her and butter-pecan for him, sitting back down on the couch. Matt popped the top off and dug in with his spoon. A mischievous smirk lit up his face, and Alex blinked, "What?"

"Ever played truth or dare, Kingston?"

"When I was about sixteen." She replied dryly, taking a bite of ice-cream and letting it melt in her mouth, enjoying the light, fruity flavor.

He laughed, "We should play it."

Alex looked at him like he'd gone off his rocker. Play Truth or Dare? Why on earth-? Of all the randomest things to do right now… though, she decided that couldn't be the worst thing in the world. "Okay… Smith, truth or dare." Ha, best to start it off with her asking him.

He blinked and then grinned, "Mm… dare."

Alex made out to laugh evily, and then smiled. She'd been hoping he'd say that, "You have to snog Karen tomorrow on set."

"What? No!" He blinked, "I am not snogging Kaz."

"Yes you are. I dare you."

He huffed, "Fine, Kingston, truth or dare."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Truth."

"What was the one thing you always wanted for Christmas when you were a kid?"

Alex thought hard and then hid her head in her hands, laughing and shaking her head, "I'm not telling you!"

"Aw, c'mon, be a good sport! I'm kissing Kazza…"

"Fine- a pony." She replied. Oh, there was more to it than that, but he didn't have to know all the juicy details. "I love horses."

He raised an incriminating eyebrow, "Oh come on, there's more to it than that, isn't there?"

She waved it off, "No there isn't!"

"Yes there is, I can tell." He leaned forward over his pint of ice-cream, looking at her very hard until she finally gave in.

"I wanted a unicorn that pooped glitter."

"Ha!" He grinned, "There, that wasn't so hard was it?"

She rolled her eyes and blew at a curl that'd fallen in her face, "Alright, Smith- truth or dare." He'd better say truth, because there was no way he was getting off that easy.

"Truth," Matt replied, crossing his arms around himself.

"What's in that box that you hid under your bed?" She leaned her chin on her fist and reveled in his shocked expression.

Matt gaped at her, "Kingston! You snoop!"

She laughed, "My necklace fell off and got under there."

"What were you doing in my room, anyway?" He quirked an eyebrow at her in suspicion.

Alex flushed slightly and waved it off, "Fixing my makeup."

"You did that in the bathroom."

"Which is adjacent to your room."

He shook his head and laughed, "This is going to come up again, I'm sure- it's going to come back and bite you."

She laughed and then bounced slightly, taking another bite of her quickly-melting ice-cream, "So, my question still stands, what's in that box?"

He huffed and crossed his arms, "Stuff."

"Stuff isn't an answer, Matt," Alex replied, her eyebrow arching as she watched him.

Matt licked his lips and stared back at the TV, "The ring I plan on giving to the woman I marry someday."

Alex blinked, sucking in a breath, "You have it all picked out already?"

He looked back at her gave her a faint smile, "It was my gran's. She was an amazing person- and I wanted to find someone worth it enough to wear her ring."

"Oh," she breathed, wrapping her arms around herself and rubbing her thumbs up and down her forearms. She tucked her legs under her and looked down, eyes tracing patterns on the couch. Well, there goes whatever chance she had with him. There was no way she'd ever measure up to that ring- the look in Matt's eyes was one of pure adoration for his gran, and- she just wasn't ever going to be that amazing. She was broken, mangled, and empty-handed… she couldn't even offer him her purity.

Matt's voice broke into her thoughts, "What about you, Kingston, truth or dare."

She swallowed, "Truth." It was only fair, she supposed, and she didn't have the guts for a dare.

"Why do you always assume everything's your fault?"

Alex froze and looked up at him again. His playful expression had become solemn, eyes sparkling with so much more age than was usual for him as he looked at her, legs crossed, leaned forward, spoon set in his half-melted ice-cream.

She looked away again, struggling for words. How was she supposed to articulate this to him? How could she tell him? She cleared her throat, voice becoming distant as she stared at the TV, "Before I had Salome- I just assumed- it was taking so long- I just thought I couldn't get pregnant." She desperately tried to swallow a lump in her throat as she felt Matt's gaze burning into the side of her head, "After Salome, I was pretty sure I never would again- I mean- even that was lucky- but Salome wanted a sibling so Florian and I decided to try and to adopt."

Matt had scooted closer to her. He set his ice cream on the coffee table and his arm wrapped around her shoulders, "You don't have to continue-"

She knew he could probably tell how difficult this was for her to say, but somehow- she needed to say it- to get it out- and she needed Matt to know. Her eyes closed and she shook her head, "No, it's fine- I want to tell you." She took a deep breath and continued, not looking at him for fear of finally letting loose the tears that were burning at the edges of her vision. "The first adoption- obviously- just fell through…" She swallowed, "The second- we were so close… but- there's this law in California, a parent can decide after the fact to withdraw his or her legal consent for the adoption within thirty days… Adrianna was- she was gorgeous, she was such a darling- Salome loved her, Florian and I loved her- we were positive this one would work. We waited until day twenty-seven…" She sucked in another ragged breath as she fought to keep herself composed, "And then her mother decided she wanted her back."

"Stupid law," Matt murmured, his arms encircling her shoulders.

Alex nodded in agreement and struggled to continue, "Florian blamed me…" she whispered, finally looking up at Matt. Her face was burning, flushed, and she looked away from him. Even years after the fact, she was still so ashamed of it… She'd seen a flash of anger in his eyes- and she wasn't really sure whom it was directed at. "Oh, the fights we had-" Alex laughed mirthlessly behind her tears and shook her head, "It took me a good year before I realized that our marriage was falling apart. I- I put up with him blaming me for nearly everything for that long- because I wanted Salome to have a father- and I guess… it didn't do either of us any good… but- you get used to hearing that everything's your fault, you start to believe it, you know?"

She could almost swear she heard him _growl_. His arms tightened around her and the room was deathly quiet as the clock ticked thunderously on the wall, Alex chewed on her lip, beginning to fiddle with her hands, thumbs twisting around as the rest of her fingers threaded in each other and rubbed her palms.

"Matt… please say something…" she whispered after a few minutes, her voice small.

Matt's voice was thick as he said lowly, "It wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault, Kingston, and Florian had no right to blame you for it."

She released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. She couldn't even begin to describe how much she'd needed to hear that. Salome had, of course, told her that- but- to hear it from somebody else, and adult who could fully comprehend the situation…

It was amazing.

And that was an understatement.

She sniffled softly and smiled up at him, "Thank you."

Matt looked at her in surprise, "For what?"

"For listening…" she replied back softly. Alex stretched slightly and then looked around, laughing quietly, "Well… ice-cream's all melted."

Matt glanced down at his tub as if noticing it for the first time and smiled, shrugging, "Ah, yeah, well… that's okay." He glanced at the time, "It's late- I'd better let you get to bed, we have filming tomorrow."

Alex stood and took the cartons, tossing them before walking Matt to the door. He got his coat and looked down at her, smiling. They stood there for a few moments, just looking at each other, prolonging the night. He didn't want to leave, and she didn't want him to either.

Finally, he tapped her nose and pulled her into a gentle hug, "Goodnight, Kingston… see you tomorrow."

She hugged him back tightly, standing slightly on tiptoe so she could tuck her head on his shoulder, "Goodnight, Matt."

With that, he reluctantly pulled away and nodded to her, opening the door and then walking out. Alex shut it after him, a small smile on her face. She reached up and wiped away a tear that'd tracked down her cheek and wrapped her arms around herself, making her way back to her bedroom and turning lights off as she went.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: ****(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Hey again! Why does it feel like forever since I've updated? Oh wait, it has been. . Sorry! I ended up not getting this chapter done because a new one-shot fic took over my writing time, if you guys want to check it out you can... it's on my profile, and it's called _Footprints of the NeverWere_ (shameless self promoting is shameless). Now that initial apologies for unwarned lengthy waits between chapters is done... you guys know the drill! Go ahead, wipe your feet, grab a cup of tea and a cookie and settle in one of my big, squishy leather chairs that I totally own, and enjoy! :) I'll light the fire for you, (because I totally have a fireplace, too). Enjoy! And don't forget to drop a review off on your way out. :)

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18

**So Close and Still So Far**

Matt was having a hard time concentrating on the filming. That wasn't too unusual, except for the fact that this reason was unusual, this time. He was stewing. Now, Matt wasn't the type to stew. Brood? Maybe, when the occasion called for it. He could be quite the brooding mother hen at times when his friends were hurt or sick, and he supposed it was probably this side of him that was causing him to stew. It was just that… he didn't stew over _Alex_, ever. He normally assumed that Alex could take care of herself. But…

He just couldn't comprehend how Florian could possibly have it in him to blame _Alex_ for everything that ever went wrong in their relationship. What made him think he had the right to? Suddenly, Matt felt even more protective of his Kingston than he had previously. She was more hurt than he would've ever thought, and now he wanted to protect her from anything that might hurt her more. She didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and Matt wanted to make sure that from now on, even if she couldn't formally accept it from him, he was going to look after her. It wasn't really pity that motivated him, more like anger, anger at the fact that somebody had hurt the person that in Matt's eyes was the most beautiful and perfect being on earth.

He stood up and walked out of the break room and back on to the set. It was buzzing, as usual, and he swirled the congealed mixture of coffee, creamer, and several lumps of sugar in Alex's Dalek mug and took a sip, plunking himself down to Karen and Arthur. They were talking with Salome while Alex got her hair done.

"Oh! There you are!" Karen grinned at him.

"-Where'd you go?" Arthur asked.

He laughed at himself, shaking his head, "Well, I was _going _to heat up my coffee."

Karen patted him on the head, "Did your brain run off and go jumping in puddles again?"

"We should buy you a back-up." Salome stated, resting her chin on her fist.

Karen giggled, "Now _that_'s a brilliant idea!"

Matt chuckled as well, folding his hands on his lap and tapping his feet lightly on the dusty concrete floor. He wouldn't _need_ a back-up brain if his current brain wasn't always constantly thinking about Alex. The woman had a way of staying on his mind.

Desperately wanting to try to focus his thoughts on something other than a certain curly-haired vixen, Matt asked, "So what were you guys laughing about before I came over?"

"Ah," a lopsided grin spread across Arthur's face, "Salome has an idea for an epic scene between the Doctor and River."

Karen nodded gravely, "Oh yes, it's very epic, go on, tell him Salome!"

"Well," Salome leaned forward, and Matt did the same, smiling at her, "River's walking down a street in London in the future, and she walks by this nuclear reactor-"

"Okay?" Matt nodded for her to continue, wondering where this was going, as well as why on earth there was a random nuclear reactor by a street in London and what exactly it was doing there.

Salome continued animatedly, grinning, "-And then it blows up, right as she walks by it, because she's got radioactive earrings on or something."

Matt blinked, "And how does River end up surviving this?"

She rolled her eyes, reaching over and lightly hitting Matt's knee for interrupting her, "I'm _getting there_! Then, the Doctor bursts out of the bushes with his sonic screwdriver and waves it around and stops the explosion with it, and saves River! And then they kiss."

"Would this suggestion for Steven have anything to do with the fact that you have been asking me over and over if there's a kissing scene between the Doctor and River for weeks?" Alex asked, appearing in the doorway with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

"But if River and the Doctor have to kiss in a scene, that means you and Matty get to kiss!" Salome exclaimed, sitting back in her chair, grinning, "Which would be fantastic."

Matt choked on his cold coffee and started to cough violently. Any sort of coffee down one's throat is painful, even cold coffee. Karen whacked him on the back and glanced over at Arthur, who was looking like he didn't even want to be in this room at the moment.

"I agree with Salome." Karen stated, nodding and grinning up at Alex, who shot her a deathly glare.

"What?" Matt squeaked between coughs.

"Oh don't tell me you don't think it's fantastic when you and Alex have to kiss on set. You always have a stupid grin on your face whenever it's in the script."

Arthur scratched the back of his head, "Sorry, Mate, have to agree with Kaz on that one."

"Guys!" Alex exclaimed, gesturing to Salome.

Karen waved it off, leaning back in her chair. Matt stood awkwardly, finally deciding now would be a good time to go heat up his coffee. "I'll be right back."

"I need tea." Alex mumbled, rubbing her forehead and following Matt to the break room.

They were mutually quiet as Matt popped the Dalek mug in the microwave and Alex filled her teacup. She pressed on the tap with lethal force, hair bouncing, and watched as the steaming liquid filled the cup. She then popped an earl gray teabag and one sugar-cube in and stirred it. She glanced over at Matt and finally broke the silence.

"You're using my mug again."

"I like your mug." Matt replied, stopping the microwave one second before it beeped and pulling the mug out, swirling the coffee around to re-mix all of the ingredients.

"Maybe I'll just buy one for you for your birthday." Alex commented, a small smile turning up the corners of her beautiful mouth.

Matt chuckled, "I wouldn't use it."

"Why not?" Alex glanced over at him as she bobbed her teabag up and down in the water. They were taking an unnecessary amount of time getting their drinks ready, but neither would admit that they just wanted an excuse to have a normal conversation alone.

"Because it's not yours." Matt said, grinning at her and taking a sip.

Alex rolled her eyes, and shook her head, laughing at that. A pleasant smile lit up Matt's face at the sound of it. He loved making her laugh.

"Impossible man." Alex muttered, removing her teabag and putting it in the caddy for later.

"I have to keep up with you." Matt teased.

She turned to face him, looking up at him with a smirk on her face, "Oh shut up."

He grinned, looking down at her. They were so close that they were almost touching. His hand went with a mind of its own, fingers dragging up over Alex's slim ones that rested on the tea-table. His eyes glanced down and watched in amazement as goosebumps crawled up her arm. He wasn't aware that he shivered a bit, thumb rubbing the top of her hand as his gaze returned to her.

"Never." He replied back lowly, his tone playful.

He half expected her to roll her eyes again, but their faces were inches apart. Their lips mere centimeters. How had that happened? She simply stared up at him, eyes flicking first from his eyes, to his lips, and then back.

"I don't mind kissing you, Matt." She whispered suddenly. "I kind of enjoy it too."

He blinked at her, a delightful shudder running up and down his spine at her tone. "Helps when your partner is rather good at it," he mumbled. His breath hitched as his mug was left, completely forgotten, on the table, getting cold again.

He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her in for a good, gentle, long kiss. So much and so hotly that it was painful. He felt Alex's other hand curl around his wrist, as she looked up to him, and he registered her quick, short breaths. Something in him shifted as he looked at her, desire pooled darkly in her eyes. She wasn't ready. She'd told him that she wasn't. He wasn't going to push her until he was absolutely sure she was positive she wanted it.

It took all of his will, but he took a tiny step back and tapped her nose, picking up his mug from the table.

"So, you're going to be gone tomorrow?"

Alex took a deep breath, visibly coming back down to earth. "Yeah, Salome needs to go in for her booster shots and I have a press conference."

"Which shots?" Matt enquired, breathing deeply himself and taking a sip of the coffee to clear his head as he looked at her.

Her hands folded, and her right thumb rubbed across the back of her left hand, much like his had a few second ago, "Um- MMR, Polio…and Tetanus."

"Ouch."

She nodded, one arm wrapping around herself as she reached over and picked up her tea, staring into the amber liquid, "Yeah."

"She'll be okay." He reassured gently, taking another sip of his coffee.

Still not looking up at him, she nodded, "I know, yeah. She'll just come with me to the conference- Cailen can't watch her tomorrow."

He nodded, "Well… you know… if for some reason that doesn't work out… you can give me a call."

Her head popped up and she smiled at him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Kingston." His hand tapped on the table a little bit in the moment of silence that followed, and then he jerked her thumb back towards the set, "…filming's going to start- you know- soon."

Alex nodded quickly, "Yeah, we should go." She turned and walked out, Matt trailing behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** **(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **And we're back! This chapter is mainly fluff and hurt/comfort, basically a sniffle!chapter. Oh, and Alex has a rather important realization about Matt... which is kind of summed up in the title. Anyway, have fun and enjoy reading! I hope to hear from you and hear what you think! :)

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**19**

He Cares

Salome swung her legs nervously as she sat on the bench in the doctor's office, glancing around at the white walls as she nervously chewed on her strawberry gum. Alex sat across from her. They were waiting for the nurse to return with the syringes. She smiled at Salome and patted her knee gently, "You'll be okay."

Salome bit her lip, "What if I get a reaction like last time?"

That was the one thing she hadn't told Matt about. The shots had caused Salome to get a rather high fever, nauseous, and achy last time. She was hoping that the booster shots wouldn't this time.

"Don't worry, okay? Remember, it was gone in a day."

"I was still sore though." Salome huffed, sighing as she fiddled with her scarf, the one that she loved to wear because it matched Alex's.

"Yes, but that's easy to take care of, we'll take an ibuprofen the minute you get home, I promise," Alex reassured. Silence passed between them for a few minutes. Alex's phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her purse to see a text from Matt. A small smile spread across her face as she opened it.

_Hey, Kingston. Has Salamander gotten her shots yet? _

She quickly replied back that she hadn't and that they were still waiting. The nurse came in a few minutes with a smile on her face.

"Sorry that took so long!" She stood by the edge of the bed, getting the syringes ready. "Okay, we'll do Polio and Tetanus in one arm and MMR in the other… okay?" She glanced over at Alex, "The Polio just goes into the skin, the Tetanus and MMR go into the muscle, that'll probably be where the soreness will come from. You'll just want to give her an ibuprofen when she gets home. Did she have a reaction last time?"

Alex nodded, "She had a pretty high fever."

The nurse nodded, "Okay, that's probably a combination of the MMR and the Polio, those tend to be guilty on the fever part. I'd suggest that you change the Ibuprofen to a Tylenol in that case."

Alex nodded again, "Thanks." Just then, her phone rang as Salome squirmed in her seat as she watched the nurse get the needles.

The caller ID was Matt, Alex picked up. "Hey, Matt."

"_Hey, want to put Salamander on the phone for me, Kingston_?" He asked her.

Alex blinked, "Sure." She handed the phone to Salome, "It's Matt, love."

A grin broke out on Salome's face as she took the phone. "Hi, Matty."

"_Hey Salamander. Heard you're getting shot."_

Salome giggled, "No, I'm getting shots." She corrected.

"_Oh, my mistake. You scared?"_ He asked her gently.

She bit her lip and squirmed in her seat, fiddling with her scarf some more. "A little."

Alex felt her heart melt as she could hear Matt asking her, "_Want me to hold your ear while you get the shots?_"

"Okay." Salome smiled slightly and nodded into the phone.

The nurse looked over, "Okay, munchkin, you ready? Do you want to do the hardest one first or the easiest one first?"

Salome bit her lip, "Mm… easiest?"

The nurse nodded, selecting one of the syringes, "Okay. This one's just going to be a little, pinch, okay?"

Salome nodded, "Okay."

Alex reached forward and squeezed her hand, smiling at her, "Just look at me, love, it won't be so bad if you don't look at it."

"_Hey, Salome, how about you tell me about Matt the Cricket, how's he doing?"_ Matt asked, trying to distract her.

"Um… he's…doing fine." Salome sucked in a breath as the nurse injected her. She relaxed slightly. "Oh, was that it?"

Matt's voice came in through the phone, "_Was it easy_?"

"As pie." Salome said, smiling shakily.

Alex grinned at her, "Thattagirl."

The nurse smiled as well and set that syringe aside, picking up another one. "Alright, MMR's next. This one tends to be kinda cold, and it hurts a bit more, okay?" She said carefully.

Alex watched as her daughter tensed slightly and then as she bravely nodded, "Okay."

Honestly, Alex hated having to watch her get her shots… or anything of the sort for that matter. The fact that it was kind of like deliberately putting your child through pain made it really hard to just sit there while it happened. This was almost as hard for her as it was for Salome. But, she had to admit, it made it infinitely easier with Matt there over the phone.

"Alright, honey, relax your arm a bit for me… there you go. Amazing how tense we get, huh?" The nurse said as the needle went in.

Alex squeezed Salome's hand. That one was obviously more painful as Salome bit her lip and winced. She was quiet, and Alex had to remind her to breathe.

"_You hanging in there, Salamander_?" Matt asked, since Salome was being so quiet.

Salome nodded, "Yeah… Mum? I don't want to get sick again…"

"You might just get sick for a day, okay? It's not that bad, and this way this'll stop you from getting nasty things like Polio and things, okay?" Alex replied, reaching over to gently push Salome's bangs out of her face.

Her daughter took another deep breath, "Okay… still don't like it though."

"_Hey, if you get sick I might come over and bring an episode or two of WHO. How does that sound?" _

In spite of herself, Salome smiled, "Brilliant. Okay."

The nurse put another neon-green band-aid on Salome's arm and then walked over to the next side. She flicked the syringe and explained the shot one more time, "Okay, and with this one you're going to feel a pinch and you're not going to feel anything for a little bit, and then it's going to hurt quite a bit… and then it'll be done. Okay? I'll go fast, I promise."

Salome took a deep breath, "Okay."

"_What's this one?"_ Matt asked through the phone.

"Tetanus." Salome replied anxiously. She knew this one hurt… a lot. She cringed as the needle went in, and Alex squeezed her hand again and rubbed her daughter's knuckles with the pad of her thumb.

"Alright, and here comes the rest of it…" The nurse warned gently.

Alex felt her heart twist as Salome whimpered softly and fought not to squirm in her seat, tears starting to mist at the corners of her eyes. Her lower lip trembled a bit.

"I'm sorry, love," the nurse apologized quietly.

Alex's other hand stroked Salome's hair, "You're doing great," she murmured, eyebrows knitted together as she stared into her daughter's tear-filled eyes.

"_Don't worry, it's over in a few seconds. I promise. You're doing amazing, Salome_." Matt encouraged from the phone.

The nurse set the syringe down and placed an orange band-aid over the injection. "Alright, all done, my dear. You did great." She gave

Salome a smile. "You can go now."

Alex helped Salome off the table and glanced up at the nurse, "Thank you."

The nurse nodded, "You're welcome."

As they walked out, Alex ruffled her daughter's hair and rubbed her back while Salome talked with Matt through the phone.

"Are you really coming over to watch WHO?" She asked excitedly, taking a deep breath to keep from crying. Her arm was probably pretty sore, but the kid was handling it well, like she did everything else.

"_If you get sick, yeah."_ Matt replied.

"I probably will," Salome said. She actually sounded a little glad for it. She was always eager to see Matt, and being able to hang out and watch WHO with him was making her bounce up and down with excitement.

Alex smiled as she listened to them rattle on about their favorite episodes and which one he should bring should he come over. She had to admit she was incredibly grateful that Matt had called. He'd made the whole experience so much easier for Salome, and for her… normally Salome would be half in tears by the time they were in the car and they'd spend at least five minutes getting her to feel better.

She was surprised he'd thought to even text her about it. She hadn't thought that her comment about it yesterday would've made him worry about it at all. She didn't think he would've cared enough… and yet… she shouldn't be that surprised that he did. Matt cared about Alex enough that he'd come over to take care of her while she was sick, and she realized that it made perfect sense for him to extend the same kind of attention to Salome. He cared about them both.

She realized as she drove back home, Salome happily chatting away in the back to Matt, that he might _love _them both, too. When was the last time somebody had?


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Okay, this chapter was hard to write, I gotta tell you guys. I must've rewrote it fifty-billion times. That's why it was up late, I just wasn't happy with it. But I think I am now. Mostly fluff, a little bit of meaningful sniffle!fic.

I also want to inform you guys that next week, there may possibly be only one update (on Monday), I leave on Tuesday to visit my family, and they actually don't have internet, so if I don't make it to an internet cafe or something, I won't be able to upload anything until I get back on the following Wednesday.

Anyway, cheers, and enjoy!

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20

**For Always**

Matt sat on his couch, hours after the call, still holding his cell. He knew Alex had an important press conference to go to. He also knew that going to a press conference with a sick child was no fun. The woman was stressed enough without having to worry about Salome. So, he decided he was going to help her out if she needed it. Which she probably did. He opened his phone and brought up his keypad, dialing Alex's number.

"_Hey, Matt, what's up?_" Her voice was breathless and tight through the phone, but even like that, her voice still caused a daft grin to spread across his face.

"Hey, is Salamander sick?"

"_She's running a temperature, sore, tired… nothing I wouldn't expect_." Alex replied, "_Why?_"

"You still planning on going to that press conference?"

"_Can't miss it."_

Matt nodded into his phone. His mind was made up. He got up and started pulling on his coat. "Alright then, I'll be right over there."

"-_Matt, you don't have to-"_

He interrupted her as he grabbed a season of WHO off the shelf, "Shh, it's fine. You can't possibly bring Salome to the press conference," he replied back. "Just get ready for the conference, Kingston, I'll be right over."

He snatched his keys from their place and hopped in the car. He could only think of how much this reminded him of the time when he'd looked after Alex. Salome was like Alex, only smaller, and younger, and not-mum. He chuckled at that.

He decided he might as well pick her up a few things before he arrived. If he remembered correctly then Alex had an hour or so before he had to be there. He rushed into the store to pick up some chicken noodle soup. He grabbed a can or two for them and then, on his way to the check-out, spotted something that Salome would absolutely adore.

Now, Salome had told him of her love for elephants. To be exact, big, squishy, plush ones. She had a small one that was the size of a small teddy bear, but she hadn't gotten a big one. She was hoping that Alex would get her one for her twelfth birthday, or Christmas, or something. So, a grin spread on Matt's face as he stopped, staring at the biggest, squishy, plush elephant he'd ever seen.

It was the size of a large pillow, shaped more like a gray ball than anything else with little, stubby round legs sticking out from the bottom and a head that was much too small for its body and eyes that were much too big for its head. Ignoring the strange looks from passersby, Matt pulled it off the shelf, tucked it under his arm, and walked up to the cashier.

He placed the items down, and the woman eyed him oddly. "You have kids?" she asked him with a slight chuckle.

Matt laughed and shook his head, "No."

Her eyebrows raised to phenomenal heights. Matt blinked and then gestured to the elephant, "It's for my… um… friend's daughter."

"Ah. Would this friend be female?" She asked him curiously as she accepted his credit card, ran it through, and then handed it back to him.

Matt couldn't think why that would be any of her business, but he saw no harm in answering her. "Yes?"

A smile spread across her face as she handed him the plastic bag with the items in it, "Would this female friend be married?"

"No?" He blinked at her in confusion.

She simply grinned at him smugly, "Happy future marriage, then."

Matt didn't really know how to respond, so he settled for simply chuckling and nodding to her before walking out. Seriously the oddest run-in with a cashier he'd ever had. He stuck the elephant and soup in the back before hopping back in his car and driving off to Alex's flat.

He drove up, parked, grabbed the bag out of his car, and then ran up the stairs to Alex's flat. Alex opened the door just as he was about to knock. She was just putting some earrings in. "Hey… you know you could just walk in- what on earth is in the bag?"

He chuckled, "Stuff for Salome."

Alex blinked at him and shook her head, "You know you don't have to come over and watch her for me…"

He smiled down at her, tapping her nose before stepping past her, "I want to."

Walking into the living room, he spotted Salome laying on the couch, curled up under an afghan, but still awake. He smiled at her and sat down on the edge of the couch, "Hey, Salamander."

Salome perked up immediately, sitting up to throw her arms around his neck, "Matty! You came!"

"Course I did, I promised, didn't I?" He chuckled softly and hugged her back.

"Did you bring some episodes of WHO?" She asked excitedly. Her voice was a bit throaty and it almost sounded like she was losing it, but she still had a bit of her energetic self left.

He nodded, "Yep, I brought most of Donna and Ten's."

She squeaked softly, probably trying to squeal, "Brilliant!"

Matt suddenly remembered his bag, "Ah! And for you-" he pulled out the giant elephant, his grin widening as he watched Salome's face light up.

She took the massive thing and hugged it tightly, "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." He chuckled and ruffled her hair.

"Mum! Look what Matty got me!" She held the item up in the air so Alex could see as she walked in.

Alex smiled and glanced gratefully at Matt, "That's fantastic, Salome." She walked over and kissed Salome's forehead, "Alright, I'm off, I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"

"'kay." Salome nodded and reached up to hug her, and Alex hugged her back tightly.

Matt ruffled Salome's hair, "I'll be right back, I'm going to see your mum to the door, alright?"

Salome nodded and smiled at him, "Snog her while you're at it, okay?"

He laughed as he got up, "Yes ma'am."

Alex grabbed her bag and he walked with her to the door. She stopped before leaving turning to face him. His breath caught. They were only inches apart again.

"Matt, are you sure you're okay with this?" She asked him quietly, "You don't have to watch her for me, I can bring her, or get Karen or-"

He stopped her by taking the liberty of taking her hand, his thumb rubbing up and down her throbbing pulse. "It's okay, Alex. I promise it is. Just go, relax. I've got this and I don't mind in the least."

He watched her as she bit her lip, felt her long, clever fingers wrap around his wrist, "I'm sorry though, I feel like I'm ruining your day… you call if anything, okay?" She whispered, looking up at him with those infuriatingly captivating green-blue eyes.

He squeezed her and smiled down at her and nodded, "Everything'll be fine, trust me."

She swallowed, "I do."

His smile turned a bit cheeky, "Do I get a kiss goodbye too?"

That drew a good-natured huff and a chuckle out of her, and she whacked his arm, lightening the mood. "You, sir, are the biggest flirt."

"Not as big as you, you could probably flirt with a fish." Matt countered, smiling fondly down at her.

Alex raised a brow and nodded, "Granted. Bless, alright…" His heart began to pound in his ears as Alex leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Bye, and thanks."

"You're welcome," Matt breathed, giving her hand one last reassuring squeeze, "Have fun."

Alex snorted again, "Right. Bye, Matt." She gave him a wave and then walked out the door.

He shut it behind her, cheek still warm and tingly from her lips, "Bye, Kingston."

Matt walked back over to the couch and sat down next to Salome, "Alright, which one?"

"Mm… the Unicorn and the Wasp." Salome mumbled as she scooted over and burrowed herself under Matt's arm, curling up.

Matt leaned forward and popped the correct disk in and selected the episode. "Tell me if you get hungry, ok? I've got some soup for you."

Salome nodded. Her previous energy from his arrival was seemingly drained. The poor kid felt quite warm to the touch, Matt noticed. The hours would pass by quickly, he thought absentmindedly as he began to run his long, ridiculous fingers through Salome's hair comfortingly. He hoped she would sleep. Sleep was always good when one got sick. He also prayed that Alex would be able to relax and not worry about them. She worried far too much than was good for her. Matt simply hoped he could relieve some of that stress. She shouldn't have to be handling all of this on her own. Raising a kid was hard enough with two people, let alone by yourself while you were a co-star of the most popular TV show in the UK.

"Matt?" Salome whispered after a few minutes over the sounds of Donna being attacked by a giant wasp.

"Yeah?"

"Do you love my mum?"

Matt's thought process stopped in its tracks. Why on earth was she asking him that? "Yes. Why?"

"Like- love, love her?"

"You mean do I want her to be my girlfriend or something?" He asked, wondering where on earth this was going and why Salome was asking him such an odd question for a kid her age.

"No, like, do you wanna marry her for always?"

Matt blinked, "Why the 'for always', Salamander?"

"Because not everybody does." She replied back quietly, "Some people just wanna marry her for some of the time and then they decide they're done and she gets hurt, and I don't like that. And if you just wanna marry her for some of the time then I don't want you to."

It was like a punch in the gut. Matt took a deep breath and gulped. Yes. If he was honest, he did want to marry Alex. He didn't want anybody else to hurt her either. She deserved better than him… but he didn't care. He loved her, and he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.

"So do you wanna marry her for always?" Salome asked again.

Matt swallowed and nodded, running a hand through Salome's hair gently, "Yes, Salome. I do."

She nodded and curled up tighter against him. "Good, I want you to marry her for always too."

In a few minutes, Salome was conked out, asleep in his arms. Matt took a deep breath and turned off the episode of WHO, gathered her up in his arms, and carried her back to bed.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Hello, again! Here's the chapter, ready for reading and on time. (I'm rather chuffed!) You guys may or may not try to kill me again, but please try to restrain yourselves, everything will work out next chapter, I promise. Have fun reading, grab a cookie and whatever hot drink you enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out! I appreciate each and every one! :)

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21

**Impossible You**

Alex was restless for most of the first half of the press conference. It was boring, anyway, and her mind couldn't help but wander to what was going on with Salome and Matt. Were they okay? How high was Salome's fever? Was she sleeping? Was she getting enough fluids? Was she throwing up or not? Alex squirmed in her seat, fidgeting with the edge of her little black dress. Biting her lip, it was taking all of her willpower not to text Matt. She wanted him to know she trusted him with Salome, because she did, but she couldn't help but worry.

In truth, Alex had perfect confidence in Matt's skills to look after Salome while she was sick. After all, hadn't he looked after Alex in a similar situation? He'd done quite well at it, too. She blew at an errant curl and reached into her bag to find an elastic so she could pull her hair back. It was simply too much of an annoyance right now. She was distracted and flighty enough without having to worry about pushing her hair out of her face every five minutes.

She stopped when she felt the cool press of her phone against her hand. The temptation too great, she fished it out of her bag and quickly texted Matt.

_How are you guys doing over there? _

She set the phone on her lap and then went back to rummage around for her hair tie, she was halfway through wrestling her hair up when Matt answered back. She immediately let all her hair fall back down around her shoulders and picked up her phone to look at it.

_We're doing great. Salome's asleep. :) _

Alex breathed a small sigh of relief and texted him back,

_You'll let me know if anything changes? Help yourself to the fridge. _

_Of course, and ok. ;) _

_Thanks x_

_Welcome, Kingston. _

Her mind was finally put at rest. She trusted Matt enough to believe him when he said everything was fine and that he'd notify her if it wasn't. She just did. She let out another deep sigh and put her phone back in her chair, slouching a bit and returning to tug her curls back up into the ponytail.

The hours dragged by slowly, until at long last, the conference was over. She hopped up like a kid at the end of the last day of school and slung her bag over her shoulder, quickly bidding her goodbyes to all the important people and then walking out to the parking lot. She hopped in her car, turned the key in the ignition, and drove home.

She opened the door to her flat and dropped the keys in the blue dish with a clink, shutting the door behind her. Tossing her jacket on the rack, she then slipped off her heels and padded barefoot down the carpeted floor in search of Matt.

He was sitting on the couch, a dozing Salome in his lap, reading a book quietly. Alex didn't disturb him just yet. She wanted to just prolong the moment a little while longer. If she just forgot everything else and imagined for a minute, she could pretend that she was coming home to a whole family, she could pretend that Matt was hers and that Salome had a father that cared enough to call her while she got her shots and let her lie in his lap when she was sick and miserable, Alex could pretend that they all lived together and that this was normal and the way her life went. Just like a fairytale, or a dream.

But you have to wake up sometime.

She pushed herself off the wall and whispered, "Hey."

He looked up, those deep-set blue eyes instantly surrounded by happy crinkles as he smiled, and Alex felt her heart jump a bit at how delighted he was to see her. "Hey yourself. How was it?"

She laughed quietly and plunked down on the couch next to him, dropping her heels with a clunk to the floor. "Absolutely dull."

He chuckled and reached over to rub her back a bit, "You could've found a closet."

"And done what?"

"Texted somebody."

"Like you?"

"Sure." He grinned.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Ooh yes, that would've been exciting."

He shifted in his seat and quickly changed the subject before they got to an uncomfortable bit of flirting while Salome was in the room. "You should take your hair down." He pouted.

Alex blinked, "Why?"

"Because your curls should not be confined to an elastic band… at least, if you can help it." He huffed.

Alex laughed, "Darling, it's impractical to wear this mess down all the time."

"But it's a beautiful mess," he whined.

"You don't have to deal with it."

"So?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine." Alex reached up and tugged the elastic out of her hair, looking over at him and feeling a jolt of surprise run through her as she watched the absolute adoration and wonder spread over his face.

"They're not that amazing, Matt."

He sniffed and looked at her like she'd gone mad, "Yes they are."

Alex huffed, pretending to be annoyed with him, and stood, "Want to stay for dinner? It's the least I can do after you just spent an entire afternoon with my sick daughter…"

Matt chuckled softly, "Alex, it's fine, I don't mind. We had fun."

Alex nodded and started off to the kitchen, actually marveling about how the hell she ended up meeting such a wonderful man and how on earth he somehow ended up falling in love with her. It almost made her hate herself for not being ready to be in a relationship yet. Though… she could feel that that was changing. Something was growing inside of her. Impatience, maybe a little bit of need. But it was definitely love. She loved Matt, and she'd found herself more open to him than she had been with any other man she'd ever been in a relationship with, and they hadn't even kissed yet. He respected her. He trusted her. He let her see a vulnerable, tender side of him that Alex most definitely wasn't used to. She took a deep breath, but before she got too far inside the kitchen, Matt stopped her.

"Come sit down, I'll make dinner or we'll order in or something."

Alex glanced back at him, "Matt, no, you've been looking after Salome all afternoon and you're a guest, I can't let you make dinner."

He gently placed Salome's head on the couch, off of his lap, and got up to walk over to Alex. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked down at her, goosebumps spreading up her arm when his fingers brushed hers. "And you just got home, sit for a bit and relax. I can make dinner."

Alex shook her head, finally compromising, "We'll order in." She wasn't about to let him make dinner after looking after Salome for her.

Matt chuckled, "Impossible woman."

She winked at him before dialing for Chinese, "I try."

After she ordered the takeout, she walked into the kitchen anyway to go get herself some tea and Matt some coffee. She returned to the couch a few minutes later and handed him the mug.

As she and Matt sat back down, she watched as Salome blearily crawled back into his lap and closed her eyes again, muttering something before promptly dozing off. Alex felt a small, happy smile spread across her face as Matt's fingers gently stroked her hair as he sipped on his coffee.

"I got her into bed," he whispered, chuckling slightly, "Didn't last long. She woke up and insisted I stay with her."

Alex nodded, "She doesn't sleep well when I'm not around."

"So I noticed," Matt nodded. "Not to mention a fever does absolutely nothing for sleeping patterns."

Alex reached over and pressed a cool hand to Salome's forehead, it was quite warm, but Alex was relieved to find that Salome wasn't burning up. "She's been drinking?"

Matt nodded, "I kept a glass for her." He nodded towards one that rested on the coffee table, "Oh, and she kept down some soup."

"Good."

The takeout arrived not long after, and Alex pulled down some plates because she didn't feel like eating out of the box. Matt got a fork, but Alex insisted on using the chopsticks. She was quite bad at it, but she didn't care. It just felt wrong to eat it with a fork. They returned to the couch, and soon, the conversation turned to the end of the season.

"You moving back to LA?" Matt asked. Alex could swear she picked up a hint of dread in his voice.

Honestly, she'd thought about it and she didn't want to. Florian was there, and while Salome really should have a chance to see him… he almost never made their 'appointments' anyway. She hated the celebrity culture there, and she could care less for the weather. In London, she wouldn't have to take a flight and move her entire livelihood once filming started again, and she'd be closer to her parents… and Matt.

"I'll have to talk to Salome, but I don't think so." Alex replied, pushing the noodles around with her chopsticks rather clumsily.

She could detect a smile that he just barely hid, "Oh. So… are you going to stay in the flat, get a house, what?"

"Well, I think I'm going to just buy a house. It'll be easier than having to mess with a flat, and it's much more private, depending on where I move… so… probably buy a house." She nodded.

Matt nodded as well, "If you need any help when or if you move in, let me know." He smiled sincerely.

"Thank you." Alex got up, collecting the plates.

Matt got up as well, "The dishwasher's full, I'll wash, you dry?"

"Not like it'll take long." Alex snorted.

"Kingston, have you seen your kitchen?" He laughed quietly as he followed her in.

Okay. She had to admit she'd been a bit lenient with the housework. There were a few plates and glasses and pans that were piled up, and the dishwasher was already full and ready to run. She huffed, "Yours is no better."

"yes, but_ I_ normally use disposable plates. I don't know what you have against them."

"Waste of paper, kills trees." Alex muttered defensively.

"Rubbish," Matt teased back, chuckling as he filled the sink with hot, steamy, soapy water. He put all the plates and cups and everything else in and began scrubbing, passing Alex a dish so she could dry it off. By the third plate, he'd accidentally flicked her with water at least six times.

He did it a seventh. This time on purpose.

"You're not sorry for that one, are you?" Alex asked him, chuckling, "I'm in my good dress, Matt!"

"And I'll take every chance I can get to get you out of it." He teased, flicking droplets in her direction again.

Alex squealed, "Matt!" She retaliated by twisting up her towel and whipping it in his direction.

Matt yelped, jumped, and hit his head on her hanging pots, "Oi! Kingston!"

She chuckled and whipped her towel at him again, "You deserved that."

He grinned manically, "Ah yes, but I have a thing for revenge." He flicked her with water again and then chased her around the kitchen island, finally catching her in a corner, long fingers assaulting her sides.

Alex gasped for breath as he tickled her, squirming and giggling hysterically. "Matt…. we're going to wake Salome!"

He finally stopped her torture, looking down at her, having practically pinned her against the counter. Alex's face was flushed with excitement and her hair was splayed out in every direction but down as she grinned up at him. "You're evil." She said breathlessly. "How did you know I was ticklish?"

"Kaz told me." He said, grinning impishly as his nose brushed hers.

"Mm, you sod." She whispered, breath now speeding up for a completely different reason.

He chuckled lowly, and she felt it rumble through her. "But I'm your sod."

"No you're not," she breathed, hand resting on his chest. She contemplated pushing him away, but somehow couldn't make herself do it.

"Yes I am." He licked his lips as he looked down at her, and her heart stopped.

How long they stared at each other, Alex didn't know. But she her nostrils twitched as she caught his scent. Pine trees and coffee and dishsoap and male. She felt heat course through her and she bit her lip instinctively. She'd lost all recollection of how to breathe with him this close to her, his damp, warm hands still resting on her waist, soap suds in his ridiculous hair, a little smile on his face as he stared down with her with such love and fierce desire that it stole her breath away.

Her fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on his chest, walking themselves higher until the brushed his ear and cupped the back of his neck. He shuddered. His thumb brushed her bottom lip, and Alex felt herself tremble violently in anticipation. They migrated towards each other slowly, and Alex's lips parted ever so slightly, eyes closing, heart pounding in her chest … and…

"Mum?"

Her eyes snapped open and they both paused a mere fraction from each other. Salome croaked again from the living room, "Matty?"

Alex crashed down to earth.

She took a deep breath, feeling like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on her. "In the kitchen, love."

She wriggled out from between Matt and the counter and slowly, deliberately walked out to the couch. Her entire skin was covered in goose bumps as she sat, slipping her hand into Salome's and then feeling her forehead. "Hey, darling, how're you feeling?"

"Sick… headache, sore." Salome mumbled, curling up against Alex's side. Alex reached down and stroked her daughter's hair.

"Let's get you to bed, hm? You'll feel better in the morning."

"Don't wanna walk," she muttered again, curling up tighter.

Matt was leaning in the doorway, looking ruffled and flushed. He walked over and gently scooped Salome into his arms, "Alrighty, let's go, Salamander."

"Are you spending the night?" She whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Oh, how Alex wished that would happen!

Matt chuckled ruefully, "Nope, sorry, I'll call in the morning to see how you're feeling, okay?"

Salome nodded into his chest, "Kay."

He took her into her poster-ridden bedroom and laid her down gently, drawing the covers back up over her. He then leaned in the doorway as Alex sat on the edge of the bed, playing with Salome's curls and humming a few lines of some song until Salome fell asleep.

Finally, she was sleeping peacefully. Alex stood and walked over to Matt, almost wishing she could ask him to say. But, he jerked his thumb back behind him, "I should go."

She nodded, trying not to show how much she wanted, no… needed him to stay. "Yeah, you should get some sleep."

He pulled her into a gentle hug, "I'll see you in the morning, Kingston."

"G'night Matt, thanks, again… for everything."

He nodded as he pulled back, tapping her nose, "You're welcome, anytime."

Matt saw himself out and Alex slowly made her way to her bedroom, turning off lights as she went. Now that there was nobody around to see, she was trembling with frustration. They had been so close, so damn close. She was ready, she was. She knew that now. She'd been completely and utterly ready to turn this into a relationship.

Now she'd have to wait.

Maybe that was for the best, maybe it wasn't.

Alex changed into her pjs, curled beneath her covers, and hugged a pillow tightly. Her phone buzzed on her nightstand, and she picked it up to receive the familiar text.

_G'night, Kingston. Sleep well. X_

Damnable, impossible, wonderful man.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: ****(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **I have returned bearing an update! :D I've missed all my lovely readers and this story so much! I really have! First off, a few nuts and bolts, school has started for me so updates are going to be cut down to Thursdays only. Sorry, guys, but school's important too. *sigh*

Anyway, enjoy this update. I'm sure it'll make you smile :) I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. As always, I really appreciate any and every extra review, favorite, and follow that I get. So don't forget to click those buttons! See you guys next Thursday!

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22

**Alex Buys A House and Paints It**

Sometimes Matt thought Alex was so impossible it was absurd. She'd bought a house and had apparently moved in without calling anybody for help! He was now driving along to the address Kaz had given him (of course Alex would give it to her before she gave it to him!).

Alex had apparently gotten stuck with moving the couch inside and had called the guy next-door to help her move it in. The whole bloody thing had gotten caught in the doorway and Alex hadn't been able to move it. Why hadn't she called? He had to admit he was pleasantly irritated at her, if that was possible. Well, it was, considering he found it impossible to be the regular kind of irritated with Alex because whenever he thought of her he got a stupid grin on his face and couldn't think straight.

Besides, he would've liked to see Alex in a new house, with a couch half in and half out, lodged in the door. It would've been amusing to say the least.

He felt an idiotic grin coming on at the mental image.

Focus. Don't run any red lights, stupid face.

Matt pulled up into the driveway of a modest home in the middle of the suburbs, it was nice and private, inconspicuous, no-one would guess that the most perfect woman on earth lived there. It'd been a few days since he'd last spent any substantial social time with her, Salome would be better by now.

He had to admit, it was a pretty house. It was an old one, reminiscent of the Victorian age. It was a light, cobalt blue. A sweet-pea vine or two wound around the cream porch-posts, and the windows were shuttered with the same color as the porch and posts. Slightly homely, brambly rosebushes wound around the foundation, and a flagstone path led up to the front door. Matt straightened his jacket, put on his sunglasses, and walked up.

He rung the doorbell, and in a few minutes, Alex answered.

"Matt!" She seemed a little flustered as he took in her flushed, slightly haphazard appearance. She was in a too-large T-shirt and jeans, her golden spirals of hair were pinned up, and there was a green paint smudge on her nose.

He blinked and grinned at her, reaching over to swipe at the paint smudge. "Hello, Kingston."

She batted gently at his hand and wiped the rest of the paint off of her nose, "Hi…?"

He laughed, "I thought I'd invite myself over and see if you needed any help."

She huffed and chuckled, "I would've called."

He raised an eyebrow, "So a couch getting stuck in the door doesn't warrant you calling me? Or did you just think that I couldn't lift it?" he teased her gently.

Alex blushed slightly, "I didn't want to bother you. Anyway, come on in."

He followed her in, smiling as he noticed a few more paint spots on her arm, "I didn't know you painted."

Alex blinked. "I… don't… oh! That. Yeah, I'm painting the den, it's this awful ochre color and I wanted it to be green."

"Oh! Well, do you want help?" He followed her into the kitchen as she shut the door behind him and poured two glasses of iced tea.

She handed him a glass and shrugged, "Well, I suppose since you're here… how good are you with a paintbrush?"

"Rubbish," Matt replied, grinning as he sipped on his tea, savoring the amber liquid. Alex certainly knew how to make it right, with the hint of citrus and sugar that gave it just enough taste without losing the distinct flavor of tea.

Alex laughed at that, "I'd better give you the roller, then, huh?"

"I think you'd better." He chuckled softly and set his glass down, "Let's get to it, then?"

Alex put an electric finger on his chest, pushing him back for a minute before walking to the closet and pulling out a T-shirt, "I think this ought to fit."

She tossed it and Matt fumbled to catch it. He half wondered where she'd gotten a shirt that would fit him. Maybe she still kept some of Florian's around?

He slipped his V-neck off and tugged the T-shirt on, struggling with it before realizing that Alex's rather lovely behind was disappearing down the hall. His head popped out from the neckline and he tripped a little bit as he tried to make his unwieldy legs follow her.

The hallway branched out into a bright, spacious room. It was empty, save for some paint-cans and tools. He could see what Alex meant about the color. What had the previous owners been thinking? It was ghastly! Alex had gotten started on the painting already, obviously, by the tape around the baseboards and ceiling. He was momentarily distracted by Alex as she handed the roller to him with a grin.

"There you go."

He blinked and nodded, "Alrighty."

Alex walked over and turned on some upbeat music as Matt got to work rolling the apple-green paint on the wall. He tried not to think about the cute little way she bounced along to it while she smoothed out his painting with the brush. She was singing along, with a rather fantastic voice that sent shivers up and down his spine.

She caught him looking at her and chuckled lowly, that gorgeous smile spreading across her face, blue eyes laughing. "Matt. Paint."

"I am painting!" He argued back, sweeping the roller over the wall.

Alex rolled her eyes and tapped his nose with the paintbrush, leaving a green paint-mark on it. "You can't goggle at me and paint at the same time."

Matt opened his mouth and closed it, "I'm not goggling at you! And that's my favorite nose, Kingston!" He wiped at the paint.

"It's your only nose, you big idiot, and you were too." She went back to painting intently.

He tried to concentrate on his painting, but got distracted again as he watched her steady, slim hand skillfully brush the paint on the wall. It was an artist's hand, delicate but firm, sure about its work.

"Done any art, Kingston?" He asked her, pulling himself from his thoughts to return to his painting, because he wasn't goggling at her.

She blinked and paused for a moment, glancing at him and then nodded, "I dabbled in it in college, why?"

"You've got an artist's hand."

"I have not."

"Do too."

She rolled her eyes again and laughed, "And now you're goggling at my hand, then? Imagining things it could do to you?"

Matt flushed bright pink, a very unbecoming color, and exclaimed, "Alex! I'm not goggling at you," he insisted for the umpteenth time.

"Yes you are. Not that I mind." She replied. "But you're doing a rubbish job at painting my wall."

"You are the biggest flirt in the world," he replied. "And maybe you should give me the brush," he really just wanted to get her back for his nose.

"If you can't do the roller properly you're not getting the brush." She replied back, smiling at him, "Now paint!"

"Okay, you slave driver."

"I'm not a slave driver."

"Rather dominant, though."

"Oh, honey, you've no idea," she breathed back, giving him a coy smile that made him shift from one foot to the other and scratch his cheek. He wished his tells weren't so obvious.

They got more goofing off than painting done that afternoon. Occasionally, when a fun song came on, Matt would take Alex by the wrist and pull her in for a swift swing dance, letting her go when the song ended to return to their regular painting duties.

Matt kept trying to find an opening to pay her back for the swipe of paint on his nose. When Alex got up on the ladder and reached to paint a spot he'd missed, he took an extra brush, dipped it in paint, and swiped it on her arm.

Alex squealed, "What was that for?"

"For getting my nose."

"Oh really? Well, you'll find I have a vengeful spirit." She got the spot and then climbed down and Matt got a face-full of a paint-sodden brush.

He shook his head and blinked, wiping paint from his eyes as Alex giggled, her nose wrinkling in that irresistible way. He chuckled, "So do I." He dipped his brush again and thwacked her in the face gently with it. He grinned in satisfaction as her face went from its normal, golden color to being spattered with green.

Alex gasped, "You'll pay for that Matt!" She grabbed what was left of the paint-can, and Matt found it in his best interest to bolt out the sliding glass door, Alex, a paintbrush, and almost-empty paint can in pursuit.

He had barely gotten to the backyard lawn when a cold, wet, slimy liquid was dumped on his head. He yelped, and shuddered, hearing Alex's evil laugh behind him.

He whirled and caught her on the arm with his brush, and she retaliated with getting his ear. That was an uncomfortable and squicky experience that set his teeth on edge. She was definitely winning. He had to win this somehow. He caught her wrist and felt her shiver, then, swiped his paintbrush down the back of her neck.

Alex sucked in a breath and her eyes closed. He knew that her neck was one of her most sensitive points.

"Cheater." She breathed.

He laughed lowly, finding them both backed up against the tree. "You got my ear. That was hitting a bit below the belt." He could feel her pulse beneath his fingers, the goosebumps on her wrist as she looked up at him.

He could get lost in those sea-blue eyes.

Matt licked his lips and smiled, "I wi-."

He was interrupted by her lips crashing on his. His eyes snapped open and he squeaked slightly, arms flailing, paintbrush forgotten. He felt her fingers cupping his cheek, her hot, wet tongue sliding over his bottom lip and begging entrance. Without another thought, his mouth opened and her tongue slid in, stroking his own. Matt's eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around her waist, all thoughts of waiting and of her not being ready flying out the window. He drew her closer and kissed back with just as much bruising passion. He felt her arms snaking around his neck as she melted into his hold. He thought they should stop if either of them were going to avoid suffocating, but he didn't want to stop. He was kissing Alex. Unscripted. Alex had kissed him of her own accord. They'd been waiting for this for so long, and he wasn't going to be the first to break it off.

Alex finally pulled back, a smile twitched at the corners of her lips. Her face was flushed, her lips plump and ruby red. His were tingling. Actually, his whole body was humming and his thoughts were too scrambled to formulate a sentence as he stared down at her. She nuzzled his nose with her own, giggling softly. "Game over, Smith."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless ramblings) **Hello! I've missed you guys this week! It's been a rather... interesting week of hectic schedules and settling back in to a school routine and getting over jetlag. Fun, fun! My brother returned from England (I'm infinitely jealous of him) and he apparently also went to Wales, Cardiff to be exact, and I asked him if he'd been to the Doctor Who Experience and he just stared at me blankly. Needless to say, World War Three commenced. I just can't fathom how that can't be at the top of one's list when one goes to Cardiff! (Insert rant about what I would do if I ever went to the UK here)

Anyway, this chapter is mostly fluff with maybe a little tiny hint of angst, grab a cookie and a hot drink and enjoy! Please don't forget to drop me by a review, I love those. They're nearly better than a free trip to the UK (those would be nice too...*wistful sigh*) I hope you like it, and see you all next Thursday!

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23

**I'd Give It a Seven**

Alex was breathless as she looked up at Matt, her hands still cupping his face. Matt was staring down at her, eyes slightly wide, face flushed, breathing just as heavily as she was. He was covered in paint, and she'd gotten some of it on her hands and lips as she'd kissed him. The bitter, pungent taste was mingled with his own in her mouth as she licked her lips.

She'd just kissed him.

She'd just jumped off a cliff.

Matt had caught her.

Matt was the first to break the silence, "Kingston…I…you-" It was as if he wasn't quite sure what had just happened.

"We kissed," she affirmed, smiling slightly.

He laughed and nodded, "Yeah, that. Kissing normally marks the beginning of a relationship, though."

Alex nodded, "Yes it does."

He blinked at her and gaped a bit, "You're- you're ready?"

She laughed happily, feeling absolutely alive and bubbly and free, "Yes."

"You're sure."

"Positive," she grinned up at him.

She could almost feel the tension melt away from him, starting at his shoulders and rippling downwards. He smiled and leaned forward and captured her bottom lip between his. She sucked in a breath, her arms tightening around his neck, well aware that the paintbrush in her hands was dripping green paint onto his hair, and that the brush he was holding was probably staining the back of her T-shirt the same color as he held her.

It was a giddy, happy, succession of excited kisses, interspersed with her low giggles and his rumbling laugh. Because she was ready, and all of a sudden the barriers between them were gone and they were together and there was nothing stopping them.

Except one thing.

That one, classic, almost cliché thing that Alex wished didn't exist.

She pulled back, and Matt nearly pouted. He leaned forward to kiss her again, but she pressed a finger to his lips. "Matt, we- we can't tell anybody yet."

He frowned, looking like a child at Christmas who had gotten socks in his stocking, "Why not?"

"I'm nearly twenty years your senior… the press would have a field day."

"So let them, I don't care," he replied, reaching over to gently play with one of the curls that'd fallen loose from her ponytail in the excitement.

"Not yet, please…" she replied, "I'm really not ready to have my entire personal life picked apart." She'd avoided that successfully for so long by just not being in any relationships. Matt was already used to having his girlfriend and him plastered on magazines, he hadn't had the same kind of… of… absolute invasion yet that she had with her divorce and her separation. He didn't understand the stress, the whole 'oh, how's it going to end this time?' pressure that had followed her doggedly for so long.

He also didn't have a daughter that could be put in the spotlight and stabbed at for his choice in relationships. Salome had already been through that, twice. She didn't deserve that, and while Alex had shielded her from the press best she could… it wasn't possible to keep the kids at school from reading the things the press put out and then asking Salome about it, which was something the kid didn't need.

Matt seemed to understand what she was thinking about, because he swallowed and nodded, "Okay."

Alex pushed those thoughts to the back burner. Right now, she was with Matt…. that was what was important. She looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow, "We really are rather useless at painting. I don't think that even half the room's done."

Matt chuckled lowly, "Then maybe we should go and attempt to finish?"

"Please," Alex laughed and then wriggled out from his arms. She slipped her hand into his big, warm one, feeling a delicious shiver tingle up her spine as she did so.

"By the way, Kingston," Matt started as she tugged him back toward the house. "I'd rate that kiss at about a five."

Alex looked back at him and looked surprised, "Am I that mediocre of a kisser?" she teased.

"Mm… well… it'd be better if I hadn't been so surprised…"

"I like sneak attacks."

"I'll have to remember that."

"Yes you will," she grinned deviously.

As they went back to painting, Alex's thoughts drifted back to all of her dangerous what-ifs. What was the most dangerous one?

Florian.

Most definitely Florian. She very nearly cringed at the thought of the phone calls that would be exchanged if he found out about her relationship with Matt. She could still hear every condescending remark, every insult, every empty apology as easily as if they'd happened yesterday. It wasn't hard to imagine what he'd say once this got out. Alex had to admit that this terrified her. She was ready, she was ready in the sense that she needed Matt, and she knew that he'd be there for her and Salome…but she wasn't sure if she was ready for all the new conflicts that would inevitably result.

She wasn't that strong.

Once they'd finished painting the room and cleaned up the painting supplies, Matt and she were cleaning up in the bathroom, counting victories and teasing each other good-naturedly.

"I definitely won the paint fight," Matt replied.

"Oh please, Matt. I won it."

"You cheated."

"Kissing you is cheating?" She wiped her hands dry on the crimson towel and tossed it at his head, grinning at satisfaction as it hit him square in the face.

Matt indignantly pulled it from his head and scrubbed at his hands, "It's fraternization with the enemy."

"Well, you kissed me back, so technically, you were fraternizing with the enemy as well," Alex shot back, smirking smugly as she leaned on the doorway, watching as he fluffed up his ridiculous hair and tried to scrub the paint out of it.

"I was being held hostage… by your lips," he said rather lamely. "Therefore I had no choice."

"Mhm." Alex wasn't convinced. "You're going to need a shower when you get home, there's no way you're getting all that out of your hair with my towel."

Matt blinked, "Right. Probably will, yeah." He set the towel down and followed her into the kitchen for some lemonade. "Actually, I lied. The kiss was fantastic," he said as he accepted a glass from her and took a sip.

"Ten out of ten?" Alex asked, leaning on the counter with her own glass of the refreshing liquid.

"Mm…" he grinned impishly, "I'd give it a Seven."

"That's only one point higher than what you gave it, Matt."

"So?" Matt laughed, "Anything higher than an Eight might lead to a romp."

Alex choked on her lemonade, which, mind you, was quite painful. "Good to know."

After a few moments of contented silence, Matt asked, "Are you busy Thursday night?"

Alex shook her head, "No, why?"

He smiled, "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

Alex blinked, "Date, right?"

He nodded, "We can do those now."

She laughed a bit at the realization, "Yeah we can. That sounds lovely, Matt."

"Great... see you around seven, then?" He walked over to put his glass in the dishwasher, "I should be heading off- I need to get this paint out of my hair and go over my lines," he chuckled.

Alex laughed, "Alright," she walked him to the door and stopped just outside, relishing the freedom to wrap her arms around his neck and shivering a bit as he pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the side of her head.

"I love you, Kingston."

She let out a small contented sigh at the admission and hugged him back tightly, "I love you too, Matt. Bye."

He nodded, "Bye- say hi to Salome for me when she gets home."

Alex nodded as she opened the door for him, "Will do."

He walked out and she watched him go, a small smile spreading across her face. She felt lighter right now than she'd felt in years. He waved from his car, and she waved back before finally shutting the door and heading to the kitchen to start making dinner.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **And here you guys are (finally, a day late. But I did have it written, was just being stupid on my end) the next chapter, the first date! Cue Hallelujah chorus! :D I really don't have that much to say at the moment other than I do apologize for the chapters being regularly late. I'm afraid that won't get much better, I do try my best to get them up on time, but I'm in my first year of college and it's getting to be a rather hectic life... -.- *sigh* Anyway, enjoy, and don't forget to review!

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24

**And Toby Makes Three**

Matt straightened the tablecloth for the umpteenth time that evening. His head was rushing like a schoolboy. He just couldn't believe that Alex was actually coming to his house for a date. Of course, there was that slight complication of the media not finding out. But, of course, nobody knew where they lived and he was pretty sure nobody knew that he and Alex would be spending the evening together, alone. Besides Salome and Cailen, of course…

But they wouldn't tell anyone, right?

His thumbs fiddled nervously with the rest of his fingers as he sat in his slacks, black dress shirt, and white tie. He hoped he hadn't overdressed…

The doorbell rang and Matt nearly jumped out of his skin. Tripping a bit over his too-long legs, he managed to make them go the direction he wanted so he could open the door. His fingers lingered on the doorknob. He knew he shouldn't make her wait, but he just wanted to savor the moment. When he'd finally realized he was in love with her, he'd always imagined how this night would go. He'd savored it over and over in his head, and he wanted this to be perfect. Not just for him, but for her, too.

He took a deep breath and opened the door. A grin spread across his face as he took her in, smiling in that way that simply said Alex Kingston. A smile that was a perfect paradox, that was demure and confident and nervous and coy and playful all at the same time.

"Are you going to let me in?"

Matt blinked and then nodded, laughing at himself, "Yeah, 'course, come on…" he ushered her in, closing the door behind her.

She'd left her hair down, that fantastic woman. It flowed in glorious spirals down her back. He traced each curve of it with his eyes as they flowed into that gentle slope of her back, the flare of her hips… the dress hugged and flowed in all the right places, he realized as he felt his mouth go all sandpapery for a moment.

He regained himself enough to smile at her again and catch up with her as she walked towards the kitchen. "You look fantastic, Kingston."

Kingston actually blushed, and he realized that was the first time he'd ever said that to her so sincerely. "You clean up nicely yourself, Matt," she replied quietly.

He laughed and stared at his shoes for a moment. Then, his fingers brushed the small of her back, "Dinner's in the dining room, tonight."

He felt a shiver course through her, radiating from his fingers as he led her gently toward the aforementioned room. He was surprised to hear a sharp intake of breath leave her lips at his attempt at being romantic. The table was set for two, the lights dimmed slightly with a few candles in the middle that glinted off the dishes.

A grin spread across his face and he pulled the chair out for her. That lopsided smirk was still on her face, as if she was trying to figure out his game as she sat. He gave her a bright smile and scooted her back in before bouncing lightly in place and then walking over to sit opposite her.

He then realized something and picked up and his dishes and moved to the side of the table next to her.

Alex blinked, and he grinned and shrugged, "I felt too far away."

She laughed and shook her head, the ice momentarily broken. "Right, then. Dinner? Is it takeout?" She teased.

Matt pretended to be offended, "I'm hurt, Kingston, I invite you over and you assume it's for takeout?" He was a perfectly good cook, thank you very much!

She gave him a cheeky smirk, "I just don't want your kitchen to be burned to the ground on account of me."

"If it's burned to the ground on account of you, you were probably in it," he shot back playfully, walking back to the kitchen to get the plates of food he'd so carefully prepared.

"Oi!" Alex called, laughing, "Isn't it rude to insult the girl on the first date?"

He chuckled as he walked back out to the dining room, "Ah, yes, where are my manners?" he placed the plate in front of her. He'd asked Salome what her favorite meal happened to be, and had been pleasantly surprised when the kid told him she loved homemade pizza. While he hadn't had a clue how to make it, he'd looked it up a few times, and then some, and had did his best. Hopefully she liked it. From the smile that was slowly making its way across her lovely face as she looked down at the pizza accompanied by salad and breadsticks…maybe she did.

She looked up at him, "How'd you know?" She practically demanded.

He laughed, pouring the wine, "Mm… a little birdie told me."

"Does this little birdie happen to live in the same flat as me?"

He laughed, "I've been trained to tell you name, rank and serial number, only."

Alex shook her head and chuckled softly, and he took the small moment of silence that passed between them to savor the way the candlelight wove halos in her golden curls, flickered off her flawless skin, and was mirrored in those unfathomable blue-green eyes.

"By the way, Matt…where's Toby got to?" She asked suddenly.

Matt blinked, "Oh, I put him outside because I figured that you wouldn't appreciate him jumping all over you right at this minute."

Alex laughed, "I wouldn't mind that much, it's not like this dress needs to be dry-cleaned. It's easy enough to wash. Though I do appreciate your thoughtfulness." She paused and then added, "All of it."

Dinner was finished with playful banter and flirting and then Matt went to go put the dishes in the kitchen. Clean-up could wait. He took Alex's hand and pulled her over to the couch, "Now…we could watch a movie…or…" he raised an eyebrow, "play truth or dare."

Alex slapped him gently on the chest, "Funny. Though a movie sounds lovely. You could let Toby in too, if you like."

He smiled and nodded, "Alrighty." Walking over to the back door, he opened it and then called, "Toby!" The skittering of paws on the grass and patio could be heard and then the boisterous golden was in front of him, tail moving faster than a hurricane, tongue lolling out as he looked expectantly up at Matt and then padded inside.

His claws clacked on the floor, and Matt closed the door after him and then walked back to the living room. Toby followed, tail still wagging.

If it was wagging quickly before, it was even faster when the dog saw Alex. His entire countenance perked up and he grinned, bounding over to her and pacing back and forth, practically begging her to pet her without jumping on her lap. He knew better than to jump on people's laps when they were sitting down. Standing up, however, was an entirely different matter.

Alex grinned and leaned forward to enthusiastically scratch him around the ears. As usual, the dog wriggled and grinned up at her, panting with absolute adoration.

Matt shook his head, "You spoil him."

Alex chuckled and patted Matt's head, "Are you jealous?"

"Maybe a little."

"Poor baby."

"Oi!"

She laughed and then said, "But you get special treatment too, don't worry."

He grinned and licked his lips, "Oh really?"

"Mhm." She leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. Matt eyes closed and his hands slid up to cup her face. God, it was so good to be able to do this…

She pulled back and grinned, "Still jealous of Toby?"

"Yep."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Impossible man."

"Impossible female," he shot back, grinning.

"Oh, but you love me."

"Yes I do," he replied sincerely. She blinked and smiled, looking away and returning her fingers to their busywork of smoothing out Toby's fur.

Matt popped the movie in, he really didn't know what it was. He'd just grabbed one. He knew neither of them were really worrying about it. As the movie started, Matt wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulder, and she leaned readily into his chest, her head tucking under the hollow of his neck. He let his long, ridiculous, wandering fingers make their way to her hair, playing with those gorgeous, amazing curls. Toby heaved himself up on the couch and rested his head on Alex's lap. Matt was about to make him move, but Alex put a hand on the dog's head and gently scratched it. Thump went his tail against the couch. The corners of Alex's mouth twitched in amusement and her other hand found Matt's.

He heaved a contented sigh and kissed the side of Alex's head. Her hand squeezed his, and Matt decided that nothing had ever been more perfect than her, right now, in his arms, as cliché as that sounded. Right now, he could just forget that they were coworkers and famous actors and that he was so much younger than her and there was a world out there that might disapprove. Right now, it was just him and Alex.

Oh, and Toby.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Yay for a busy life! /unenthusiastic cheers/ It would seem college completely killed me and my writing last week . but I finally have an update up! I should get better about updating as I get more settled into what exactly I'm doing at college nearly three years early. *sigh* ANYWAY. This chapter has a dark side and a light side, a yin and a yang, a...okay I'll stop now. Just grab a cookie and enjoy ;) Don't forget to leave me a review and tell me what you think! (Or to just set a pack of rabid pink oods on me for updating late)

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25

**Goodnight**

When Alex got home that night, she thanked Cailen and gave her the paycheck for the month. Alex glanced at the clock as she put down her things and was shocked to realize it was nearly midnight. Where had the time gone? She supposed that the movie had eaten up a lot of it, as well as the time she and Matt had spent talking about all sorts of things. She hoped he didn't mind that they'd spent so much time. She didn't really, it had been absolutely lovely. Matt was so different from any of the men she'd allowed into her life. He was so thoughtful. She realized she had a stupid smile on her face and instantly removed it, walking back down the hall to check on Salome. She was pleased to find her sleeping. Alex went in, carefully picking her way in the dark over open notebooks filled with unfinished stories, gel pens, and a plushie or sweatshirt or two. She sat quietly on the edge of the bed and smoothed back her daughter's brown curls, placing a kiss on her forehead. The corners of her mouth turned upward fondly as she noticed that Salome was curled up with the elephant Matt had given her. The Adipose plushie was placed on the shelf. Alex brought the covers up to Salome's shoulder before getting up and switching on the nightlight. She then walked out, leaving the door open an inch or two.

She made her way back down the hallway, stopping almost involuntarily to glance into the den. The sight of those green walls made her small smile widen into a grin. She had a feeling that whenever she saw that color green, now, she would inevitably think of Matt and his gangly limbs, chasing her around the yard with a paintbrush.

A small, content sigh escaped her lips and she walked back to the kitchen to make herself some tea. Absolutely nothing could ruin her night now, she was just going to get some tea and mull over the night a bit more and then go to bed.

Alex took a mug out of the cupboard and put the kettle on, sitting on a stool at the counter as she waited for the water to heat up. She was thinking of texting Karen to see if she wanted to go for coffee in the morning before filming. It was going to be an afternoon shoot, and the last of the season. She probably shouldn't text now, though. Karen never silenced her phone, and would be quite irritated to be woken up at midnight.

Her mind drifted back to Matt. The way his long fingers had ran through her hair, the feel of his arm around her shoulders, the reassuring beating of his heart as she leaned her head against his chest. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed that kind of companionship... if that was the right word for it. It was a good change from having to fight to keep from getting attached, or to shroud herself in layers of lies because she was afraid to get hurt. She bit her lip, poured her tea, and then went back to her bedroom.

She laid her phone and cup of tea on the table next to the bed. Then, she picked up one of the books she kept handy and opened to her bookmark. Ah, yes. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She liked this book. She'd need all her fingers and toes to count all the times she'd read it. Actually, probably more than that.

She had just tucked into her reading when the phone rang on the bedside table, startling Alex and quite frankly, irritating her. She hated to be interrupted when she was reading a book. It was rather like getting jerked out of a scene you were supposed to be acting and then trying to get back into the role. If said distraction was taking the form of a person in the room, she often had to take a deep breath, count to ten, and refrain from slapping them.

She did just that (only this time restrained from throwing her phone across the room) and wondered who it might be. It was far too late for anybody to be calling. Maybe Karen had gotten sloshed at a pub and wanted someone who wasn't an attractive male to pick her up… nah, she wouldn't have that much judgment if she was sloshed. Karen would probably call Arthur.

Alex picked up the phone and checked the caller ID. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach, leaving a heavy, cold weight in her core. Florian. She considered not answering, but it wasn't often that she got a call from him, so it must be important.

She picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

"_So, it's nearing the end of the filming_," came that voice that still sent shivers up and down her spine, and not in a good way, "_are you moving back to LA_?"

Alex bit her lip and began to fidget with her fingernails. "No."

"_What does Salome have to say about that_?" He paused, "_I want to see _my _daughter, Alex._"

She winced at his possessive tone and then bit back, "She doesn't want to see you."

"_Rubbish, stop putting words in her mouth. That's a nasty habit of yours that I thought I broke you of._"

Alex sighed tiredly. It was far too late for this. "I'm not, Florian. I asked her. She wants to stay here." She didn't mention that Salome had added 'with Matty' to the end of that phrase. "And frankly," she looked down at the bedspread and traced the seam with her eyes, "I do too."

There came a disbelieving snort on the other side of the phone, "_You finally done crawling back to me? What, are you seeing someone_?"

His question burned with acid and salt. It was tinged with mockery. It was the same question she used to ask him. "Aw, are you jealous?" She employed a patronizing, calm tone, simply because she was on the verge of losing her control over the situation, and Florian knew it. She quickly added for her own sake, "I deserve to be happy too."

"_Oh, Alex, Alex, say that with a little conviction, please,_" he bit back. "_Who is it? That actor from that play you were in, or- could it be that gangly one we've seen photos of from WHO_?"

"Leave him out of it."

"_What, you really think he loves you?_" Florian was actually laughing at that. Alex closed her eyes, feeling her face heat. She hated how vulnerable and pitiful and childish he always made her feel. "_Pathetic._" He finished.

She wanted to throw the phone across the room and hear the satisfying shatter of plastic and glass. Her fingers ran through her hair, "Why'd you call, Florian? To ask me a question or have a go at me?" She knew him well enough to know he'd probably just had a crappy day and wanted someone to blame and put down to make himself feel better. So she hung up without waiting for his answer.

Alex took a deep breath and rubbed at her face. She could really use a call from Matt right now. She hated how clingy that sounded, though. She sighed deeply and picked up her tea, frowning when she realized it'd gone cold. She set it back on the nightstand, figuring she'd deal with it in the morning. Hopefully, even though it was a misguided hope, she checked her phone to see if she'd gotten even just a little text from him. A smiley face with a kiss would've done… but there was nothing.

She took a deep breath and slipped beneath the covers of her bed, pulling down a pillow from the side to hug tightly and curl up against. She was upset right now and she just wanted someone to be there, to hug her tight and make it all go away. She bit her lip and felt tears pooling in her eyes and she angrily wiped at them as she stared at the phone, willing it to buzz.

Finally, she worked up the courage and called him. She waited, curled up against the pillow, chewing on her lip as she pondered if this was really just a bad idea.

Matt picked up, sounding quite out of it, "_Kingston, you okay_?"

She tried not to think about the smile that spread across her face as she heard his voice, "I am now."

"_What happened, Love_?" He asked her gently over the phone, sounding much more awake.

She bit her lip, "Florian called. We got into a bit of a fight."

"_Want me to come over_?" He asked her.

Dammit why was he so perfect? She'd just seen him not an hour ago! "No…it's fine, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes." Again, with the clinginess. God, she really was pathetic wasn't she?

His next sentence shattered her, in the most wonderful, unexpected way possible. Two, little, kind words, "_I understand_."

She let out a sigh of relief, "I'm sorry for calling you so late…"

"_Shh, it's okay. I would've called you too. How can I fix it_?" he asked her again.

She curled up tighter against the pillow, hugging it as she held her phone, "You already are."

"_Okay_."

She sighed softly, "Thanks, Matt…"

"_I haven't done anything yet_." She heard him chuckle.

She laughed, her face lighting up again. "Yes you have."

"_Well, in that case you're welcome for whatever it was that I did_."

She smiled into the phone and then said, "Alright…I'll let you go back to sleep," she bit back another apology for waking him.

"_Goodnight, Kingston. I love you_."

Her grin got wider, if that was even possible. "I love you too, Matt. Goodnight."

"_Sleep well_."

"You too."

"_Goodnight_."

"Goodnight."

"'_Night_."

She laughed, "_Goodnight_ Matt."

"_Alright_." She could hear the cheeky smile in his voice.

"-Matt." She muffled another outright laugh, trying not to be too loud. Salome was just down the hall and if she woke and found out Alex was talking to Matt, none of them would be getting to bed for another hour or so.

There came a puff of air as he laughed again, obviously pleased with himself. "_Fine, goodnight for real_." She could almost see his mock-pout.

She chuckled and replied back quietly, "Goodnight for real to you too." Alex hung up and let out a small, happy sigh. She turned her phone off, and was finally able to get some much needed, restful sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **(Feel free to skip my useless rambling) Here you guys go! A new chapter, hot off the press, written during Math because I was bored (shh!). It's extremely light-hearted fun, and an idea that has been spinning in my head ever since LKH, and I seriously couldn't wait to write, so I hope you guys have as much fun with it as I did. So, wipe your feet, grab a cookie, and settle in with this new, (shamelessly full of fluff) chapter. Don't forget to leave a review on your way out!

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26

**Wiggles Is Not a PG Word**

The months in between filming were a happy few for Matt. He and Alex were no longer constrained by filming times for when they got to do date-y things at each other's houses. Alex enrolled Salome an British school for the fall, and everything was getting on beautifully, almost too much so. Matt kept waiting for a piano to fall on his head or something. Unfortunately, though, soon the break slipped through their fingers and they were back to the crazy grind of filming. There came the hullabaloo and general shock of finding out the true identity of River Song (Matt insisted he'd known all along, but to his chagrin, nobody believed him). Now, they were on set at roughly five in the morning filming "Let's Kill Hitler."

Now, it was much too early to be reciting lines, and it was even earlier to be getting a lapful of Alex Kingston every three takes. Nevertheless, he was in tweed and bowtie, having locked 'Hitler' in the cupboard, and filming Mel's regeneration into River Song. Alex gave him a devilish smile from the other side of the room, and Matt gulped. That woman was _evil_. She was _malicious_. And she'd probably eat him alive. Before he had time to brace himself, the scene was rolling and Alex was running at him and throwing herself in his lap from where he sat at the table. Thankfully, this scene involved a bit of uncomfortableness and shock from the Doctor, because Matt threw all thoughts of _acting_ out the door when the woman began _wiggling._ He bit back a sharp gasp as she pressed against him, reciting some line that he couldn't register. All he could think about was the way her body was in contact with his and the absolute fire that was flooding his veins. It was all he could do to keep his hands off her, and he settled for flailing as she turned, leaned her hands on the table, gave him that same infuriating grin and then turned around and ran to check her hair in the mirror. Matt was glad the camera wasn't on him at the moment, because he was trying desperately not to pant for air and think about the thing in his trousers.

Finally, the Director gave him the mercy of calling 'cut'. Matt leaned against the table, taking in a deep breath and trying to think about ice-cold showers and bear-traps and anything and everything of the sort. He heard Alex's heels clacking up behind him and he mentally sighed.

"Too cavalier for you, darling?" she teased, sipping on the coffee that Matt had left by his chair.

Matt huffed and looked around, making sure nobody was in earshot before he let out a small, indistinguishable, petulant sound and muttered, "Are you trying to bloody give me a coronary, Kingston?"

She gave him a coy smile, "Too wiggly?"

"That's a naughty word."

"No it's not."

"It is when it applies to you," he argued back, sticking out his tongue at her.

She smiled and patted him on the head, "It's not my fault I'm sexy, and you'd better stick that tongue back in your mouth, because I can think of ten things that would be more productive for it to be doing."

Matt quickly sucked his tongue back in his mouth and glared, flushing, "Kingston!"

"What's she done now?" Karen asked, walking back over with a fresh cup of coffee.

"Nothing, Mum," Alex batted her eyelashes innocently.

"Nothing?!"Matt protested indignantly, "She's flirting!"

"Oh, but you like the flirting," Alex countered.

Karen sighed and then spoke patronizingly, "Alex, you can't flirt with the poor boy, you might end up molesting him, and then where would we be?" She ignored the resentful noises Matt was making.

Alex sighed and hung her head, "Yes Mum, sorry."

"Oi!" Matt crossed his arms.

"Who's molesting who? Alex, are you flirting with Matt again?" Arthur huffed, walking up behind them after going to the loo.

"Well it's hardly my fault," Alex replied, folding her arms across her chest defensively, "He can't keep his bloody hands off me."

Arthur wagged his fingers at her, "But you're twenty years his senior and therefore the one who should be responsible," he scolded.

Alex shrugged and then huffed, "Fine."

Through this whole conversation, Matt was holding in a knowing smirk. Arthur and Karen…ah, if they only knew! He passed Alex to go get more coffee, allowing himself to squeeze her shoulder in a gesture that could simply be taken as friendly. He felt her shiver and smiled. He loved giving her goosebumps, knowing the effect he had on her, because he had to get her back somehow for the enchantment she held over him. She'd completely stolen him away in that low, rich laugh of hers, her smoky voice, those unfathomable eyes. She was such a beautiful, nice, flirtatious woman, even though she'd been hurt by so many…she still allowed herself to trust him, and he thought that might be the most amazing thing that'd he'd ever be privileged to have, Alex Kingston's trust. He loved her, so, so much, and he wasn't going to let himself hurt her in any way, ever. He wanted to be there for her forever. He didn't care that she was older than him and that people would disapprove, she was his, dammit, and he wasn't going to let that slip through his fingers. He wanted to let her know how special she was, in every and any way he could.

Even if she did drive him completely bonkers.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and blinked, realizing he'd gone on complete autopilot as he filled a coffee cup. Since when was he holding a coffee cup? It was nearly overflowing.

"Crap!" He quickly stopped filling it and heard a snicker behind him. Alex. Her arms encircled his shoulders and blonde curls tickled his neck. Her breath gently whispered in his ear, causing delicious, hot tingles down his spine.

"I thought the scene was brilliant," she said quietly.

Matt took a deep breath, "Alex, door's wide open."

"Nobody's coming," she paused, "Besides, I wanted a proper hug."

He chuckled and turned, setting down his cup so he could pull her into a tight hug. "There," he whispered before tilting her head up with a finger and staring into those beautiful, bright eyes. They were green today, pupils dilated. He licked his lips and whispered, "C'mere." Cupping her cheek, he stole a small kiss, his tongue running over her bottom lip, but not entering. He could feel her face heat slightly, and when he pulled back, her pupils were completely blown. He could hear her heavy breathing as she looked up at him, a half-smirk on her face.

"What?"

He smiled, "Good to know I'm not the only one that this episode is driving mad."

"I hate you." Alex hissed, straightening his bowtie.

Matt caught her fingers and kissed them, laughing against them, "I'd give that kiss a five."

"It was easily a six."

"Nah, though your _wiggling_, Kingston, that I'd rate at an eight and a half."

She grinned, "Oh, that high? Good to know."

He sputtered slightly, seeing her mischevious expression. "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, nothing," she said sweetly and walked out, calling behind her, "C'mon, we're needed back on set."

Matt huffed and fiddled with his jacket sleeve, commanding his too-long legs to follow. He loved Alex. But she was the most infuriating, puzzling, amazing person he'd ever met.

And he was never going to be able to say 'wiggle' again. Ever.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Ah, life is being a bully again, it seems. . I got this up for you guys as soon as humanly possible, thank you for being such understanding readers! To make it up to you...it happens to be something that many of you have asked me to do. I promised it would be coming ;) So here you go: a chapter that tags TWORS. Have fun! As per Polka-Dotted-Cutie's request, I've made the cookies with extra chocolate chips this time. So grab a few, and there's some hot water in the kettle and hot chocolate and tea, whichever you prefer. (Any coffee drinkers? I'd be glad to oblige). :) Read, Relish, Review! (Wipe your feet before you walk on my carpet, please!)

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27

**The Trouble With Scripted Kissing**

Matt smiled as he wandered down the halls of the Doctor Who HQ. He'd just seen the script, and, well…today was going to be absolutely fantastic. Why? Because he got to kiss Alex, in front of everybody, that's why.

Granted, it was a scripted kiss. Granted they'd have to be in-character. But a kiss was a kiss when it came to Alex in his mind. He'd take each and every kiss he could get, and he'd take it to the fullest. Even scripted kisses gave him the ability to lose himself in the magic of her mouth, to wrap his arms around her and claim her and tell the world that she was his, his, his…even if that wasn't the message the world saw just yet.

His face lit up when he glanced in the break room to see Alex fixing her tea for the morning, her back to him. He glanced around, licking his lips before tiptoeing in quietly as he could across the wooden floor. He knew by now which boards creaked and which ones would stay silent. Slowly, he snaked his arms around her waist, feeling her jump until she recognized whatever she found recognizable about him. Maybe it was the scent, or maybe she'd memorized the rhythm of breaths as they slipped from his lungs. He didn't know. But she relaxed against him, leaning her head back on his chest, that splendid head of curls pillowing behind her.

"Morning," he whispered in her ear, smiling as he saw the goose bumps that rose on her neck where his breath skipped on her skin.

Her smoky, low laugh reverberated throughout the room, "Morning, Matt." He reached around her and snatched the Dalek mug from her hands, letting go of her with a cheeky smile and filling it with coffee. Alex huffed, putting her hands on her hips, "Oh, I see how it is."

"Mhm," he laughed and kissed her cheek, feeling the familiar skipped beat in his chest when she beamed. "Have you seen the script?" he asked her casually.

"Yep," she smirked at him, leaning against the counter. "Are we doing tongue this time?"

"On one condition," he said, looking at her.

She raised an eyebrow, "What's that?"

"The kiss has to be no higher than a five."

Alex let out an unflattering, indignant snort, crossing her arms. "How do you expect either of us to stick to that?"

He laughed and sipped on his coffee, mulling it over in his mouth, savoring the bitter, pungent taste. "Mm…would you like us to get a little bit too…rambunctious?"

"Oh fine, a five. But that hardly leaves room for tongue," she complied begrudgingly.

He laughed, "It leaves plenty of room for a little bit of openmouthed tongue, Kingston…we don't want to end up having a romp on set, do we?" he leaned forward and gave her a devilish smile, dropping his voice to a whisper, even though nobody was around yet. "Honestly, I don't think if we go much higher I'll be able to restrain myself."

Alex leaned forward, uncrossing her arms. She tapped his nose, "Well, you'll just have to, Darling." She winked at him and snatched the Dalek mug right back from under his nose, taking a drink of the coffee and sashaying out happily.

Cheeky woman! Matt laughed and shook his head. God, he loved her. She could be so…so…infuriating. He fondly watched her walk down the hall to the makeup and costume room before following.

In a few minutes, they were in-costume and sitting together in the makeup room, under the bright bulbs that surrounded the mirror in a halo, getting brushes swiped over their faces. Damn brushes and powders, always made him want to sneeze. He should've been a footballer. Ah, but no, wait…if he'd been a footballer, none of this would've happened…and honestly, all the footballing in the world wouldn't compare to working on WHO with Kaz, Arthur, and Alex. Really…all the footballing in the world couldn't compare to Alex. Had he been a footballer, he never would've met her. Funny how things like that could make you grateful for things like a back-injury. Life was odd like that.

"So. Marriage."

Matt sputtered. "What?" He looked over to see that Karen had flounced into the chair next to him, already getting her makeup done.

"The Doctor and River Song are getting married," she replied, giving him a smile. "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing." He brushed it off, shaking his head. Alex caught his eye in the mirror, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

She was the one to answer Karen's statement, "Well, actually- considering the fact that River marries the Doctor while he's a Teselecta…we don't know if it was a real wedding or…"

"Oh hush, Alex, you're not allowed to comment since Steven already gave you all the spoilers," Karen teased, chuckling.

"Not my fault he likes me best," Alex replied, grinned.

Karen chuckled, "Fine, then I get Matt."

"Whoah! Ladies, I am not a part of this!" Matt exclaimed.

"Oh, darling, I'm nearly positive we can share," Alex said cheekily, giving Karen a wink.

"Oi!" Matt folded his arms and pouted, "I am not a…a toy to be shared."

"Are you positive about that?" Abby asked, swiping some blush on his cheeks.

Matt huffed, "You're supposed to be on my side."

"Ha. I'm a woman, Matt, I'm always on the girls' sides."

"Not fair."

"Oh, go pout to Steven," Karen tossed her sweatshirt at him as she got up, grinning.

Matt rolled his eyes and looked up at Abby, "Can I go?"

"Yep, you can too," Abby said to Alex.

"Thanks," Alex grinned and stood.

Abby gave both of them a wide smile, "Happy snogging."

This time it was Alex's turn to sputter while Matt simply laughed, "Oh, we will."

X X X

He and Alex sat next to each other in their chairs, watching Karen and Arthur film a certain scene inside the pyramid. Matt took a sip on his water, squirming in his seat. The kiss was next. He wouldn't admit how much it was exciting him. He wanted to slip his hand in Alex's, to feel her skin against his, to see if she was just as jittery as he was. His mouth felt dry, so he gulped down another sip of water, trying to wet it.

A few minutes later, the director called, "Matt, Alex! Come on set!"

"Oh god, my baby's getting married- Rory walk her up on set," Karen pretended to wipe away a tear.

"Oh, don't be so emotional, mum," Alex teased, laughing. "Well, Dad, are you going to walk me up on set?" She gave Matt a gentle push as she looked at Arthur.

Arthur chuckled, scuffing his foot on the floor of the set. "Oh, I suppose it's only proper. Does that mean that Matt has to carry you across the threshold later?"

"Maybe…" Alex gave him a coy smile.

Arthur laughed and walked over, linking arms with her and walking her up to the set and handing her off to Matt, making a great show of it.

They filmed the first part of the scene rather quickly. It stole Matt's breath away when the tears pooled in River's eyes and her voice became thick with tears, almost so much that the Doctor forgot to cry. Matt's heart ached a bit as the Doctor wound the strip of fabric around his hand, he watched River do the same, thinking about how someday…Matt'd like it to be rings, in a church, with Arthur as his best man and Karen as the Maid of Honor and he'd be able to call Alex his forever. When River whispered that the Doctor had better make it a good kiss and they leaned closer, the Doctor had every intent on snogging River until she couldn't remember her own name. Matt, however, had the self-imposed restrictions hovering in the back of his mind.

All of that simply melted away, slipped through his fingers even as he desperately tried not to let it when their lips met. Suddenly, it wasn't River and the Doctor anymore. It was him and Alex. Just them. The set disappeared as his eyes closed and her tongue slipped inside his mouth. His fingers grazed over her cheekbone, cupping her face briefly as her arms snaked around his neck. He felt her shiver and he smiled against her mouth, his tongue running over her bottom lip. Slowly, his hands found a mind of their own and brushed down her shoulder and arm, feeling the tickle of golden curls against the back of his hands. Finally, they wrapped around their target, her lower back, and he pulled her against him. She readily accepted that, letting out one, nearly silent keen, her tongue flicking over the roof of his mouth.

All too soon, it was ripped apart by the word, "Cut!" slicing through their haze. For a brief moment, when they pulled back and his eyes opened, he found himself staring down into those deep emerald ones. It was Alex who found her footing first, pulling back, she looked up at him, letting out a short laugh. "Oh, I could just kiss you all night!"

Matt knew she positively meant that. Her fingers slipped into his and squeezed tightly, even as she kept her casually flirtatious air. He laughed lowly, looking down at her and then up at nothing in particular, "And I you, Ms. Kingston." He forced his tone to remain playful and indifferent, even though it tore at him to do so. If the frantic rising and falling of his chest was any evidence, then that kiss definitely hadn't been anywhere near a five.

He pulled her into a side hug, and Alex's arm squeezed him tight, her head leaning on his shoulder as he leaned down slightly and hissed, "Kingston, that was a nine."

Her mischievous giggle could've put any four-year-old imp to shame. Alex looked up at him, a demonic grin on her face as she bit her lip, and Matt was pretty sure she wasn't sorry at all. Honestly, neither was he.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Hello, my dear, amazing readers! I hope you're all doing well! :) I've come bearing a new update and cookies! Have a cookie! Any cookie! It's a virtual cookie, which means it can be any cookie you want! (With extra chocolate chips, of course). There's also tea in the kettle, or coffee or hot chocolate if you prefer. And we've got a new edition of spinny chairs! So if you want one of those instead of the usual comfy chairs, feel free to take one! :) (As long as you give it back). So sit back, enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review. I thrive on reviews! :D Have an awesome week!

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28

**Coffee in a Coffee Shop**

The rest of the season progressed nicely. It was full of secret dates and trips to the ice-cream shop and more lessons in roller skating. Today was Saturday, and being Saturday, Alex was still safely cocooned in tunnels of blankets. Salome was curled at her side. They'd spent the night watching Doctor Who over ice cream and tea. Alex took a deep breath of the air wafting in through the slightly open window. It smelled of rain and wet grass. Reluctantly, she slowly crawled out of bed, hissing at the rush of cold air. She made her way to the window and opened the blinds, letting what little sunlight there was in this crip fall months. The clock read 9:12. Good, she had some time before she met with Karen for coffee. Cailen would be around soon to watch Salome for an hour while she was gone. Salome stirred in bed and Alex walked over and kissed her hair, "Morning, love."

Salome let out a low mewl, her eyes fluttering open as she was ever the morning lark. "Morning!" She sat up suddenly, "Oh!" She had the look of supreme and divine revelation on her face as she scrambled out of bed, "I'm going to wear my new blue shirt today!" She announced as she tore down the hall.

Alex chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't run in the house!"

Half an hour later, record timing, Alex was ready to go. Salome had had her breakfast and was now about to head out with Cailen for a walk. Alex bid them both goodbye and then drove off to the coffee shop at the center of town. She smiled at the memories from it, while she and Matt had never actually gone for coffee (the time at the lake didn't count, as they didn't buy any), she still had some fond memories of sitting there, reading books with him, and even earlier in her knowing him, seeing him sitting there in the corner table with Daisy on that one morning when that audacious man had flirted with her. She drove into the parking lot and was pleased to see Karen's Jetta already there.

She walked into the coffee shop and spotted Karen at a table by the window. The Cardiff rain was just starting its drizzle as she walked over. Karen's face broke out into a huge grin. "Hey!"

Alex laughed and hugged her tightly, "Hi! How are you?"

"Doing fantastic, you?"

"Pretty good myself, thanks." Alex smiled and sat with her. Karen was going over something on her laptop. Alex raised an eyebrow, "What'cha got there?"

Karen giggled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Do you know that there's been fanfiction written about us?"

"Us?" Her and Karen?

"You know, like people think me and Darvill belong together."

Alex felt herself choking on air, "I assume they think Matt and I do as well?"

"From what I've found, yeah- though there are a few where they put Matt and I together."

"Odd," Alex swallowed.

"Yeah, isn't it?" She chuckled and then leaned over the top of her laptop screen at her friend, "There's porn."

Alex was trying very hard to remain composed. "Oh?"

Karen giggled, "Yup. Quite scandalous. Not that I mind, some of it's quite hot- especially the Mattex stuff."

"Mattex? Dare I even ask?"

"Oh you know, Matt, Alex…" She made a gesture of smashing her two hands together, "Mattex."

Alex could swear she let out a cantankerous squeak. "The fans really think we belong together?"

"Oh yeah," She laughed, "Just wait until they see the Wedding of River Song, they're gonna flip over the kiss."

Alex felt herself freaking out, just a little. Was it that obvious that she and Matt were together? The fans were…putting them together, like some characters in a book? She supposed it was only natural, it happened to other celebrities, why not them? Yet…why them? She was trying desperately not to let herself worry too much over it, but it was a tad bit unsettling. She was, by nature, quite a private person and this was…well…a wee bit frightening.

"Alex, you okay?" She was brought down to earth by Karen waving at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" Alex gave her an easy smile.

Karen raised a disbelieving eyebrow, "You're looking a bit sick."

"No, I'm fine," she chuckled softly. "Just…you know… Mattex."

Karen laughed, "Oh, I would've thought that you of all people would've laughed it off. Matt on the other hand, our little baby giraffe…I'd expect he'd freak out."

Alex blinked, Matt would probably be the one laughing it off.

"What about me?" There came a distinctly male voice from behind them.

Alex's eyes widened and she let out another small squeak. She turned to see Matt leaning in at the two of them from a chair at the table behind them. "Matt!"

He chuckled lowly, "Heya, Kingston, Kazza."

"Did you hear any of that?" Karen asked excitedly.

"I heard something about me and Kingston being together."

Another indignant noise from Alex.

"Oh, well the fans think you are," Karen said nonchalantly.

Matt raised an eyebrow, glancing at Alex, "Oh really? Well, I can't really blame them, we do look quite smashing together." He grinned. Alex swatted him.

Karen chuckled, "Well if Alex's discomfort is any indication, she thinks you do too."

"Stop it!" Alex laughed in spite of herself, burying her face in her hand and flushing. "Not fair when you two gang up on me."

Karen smiled sweetly and patted her back, "Don't be so easy to gang up on, then."

Matt scraped back in his chair, standing, "Well, I'm going to go get some coffee. Do you two want anything?"

"Oh! Sure," Alex was grateful to have some sort of distraction from Karen's current choice of topics. Karen gave him her order, and Matt proceeded to the counter without asking for Alex's. Alex was about to get up and tell him when she heard him repeating it, word for word, exactly how she liked it.

"A tall, non-fat, chocolate-raspberry mocha with whip, please," She heard him say. Alex blinked. How the hell did Matt know her coffee order? She watched him stand around, waiting for the three drinks, until he gathered them in his fingers, juggling them and trying not to drop them as returned back to where they were seated and handed each of them their coffee.

Alex stared at hers in bewilderment, the steam rising from the drink-opening, "Matt, how do you know my coffee order?"

Matt choked on his own coffee, coughing violently and sticking his tongue out to cool it, "Oh. Um. I just do."

"That's really creepy," Karen commented, "Are you stalking her?"

"What? No!" He blinked and continued coughing.

Alex gave him a hearty whack on the back, "I should hope not, darling."

"I just…heard it one day and it's one of those odd things I always seem to remember."

"So you forget your bloody monologue but you can remember Alex's coffee order?" Karen's eyebrow soared to record heights.

Matt shrugged, "Like I said, it's just one of those things."

Their conversation soon turned to family and friends at home, and Alex stayed mostly apart from it. She wasn't going to be visiting her immediate family, and the only other person she could think of was Florian, and she definitely wasn't going to be visiting him. Matt mentioned his sister and parents, talking about how they were planning on going to a West End show when the season was over, and Karen expressed that she wanted to simply stay at home with her cat and parents and have a nice cuppa and a good book…and maybe go out to a club or two.

The time passed quickly. Alex checked her watch and realized she had to get back home. She said her quick goodbyes and drove back. She ran up the steps to the door, and letting herself in the house, she looked around. "Cailen? Salome?"

"In the living room!" Cailen's boisterous voice called from said section of the house. Alex smiled and walked in, seeing them making friendship bracelets while watching Saturday cartoons.

"Thanks, Cailen."

"No problem. A package came in the mail for you, it's over on the coffee table."

Alex blinked, walking over and picking up the manila envelope, "This?"

"Yep."

She frowned and looked it over while she shrugged off her coat. What was it? She wasn't expecting anything. She showed Cailen out and then went back to the living room while Salome was occupied. She lifted the envelope up and opened it with a snick and a snur. Her brow furrowed as she pulled out a group of pictures. When she saw them, her heart very nearly stopped.

Her and Matt, having dinner together, shot outside Matt's flat.

Her and Matt, snogging.

Her and Matt and Salome, rollerblading.

She frantically flipped the envelope over, looking for some clue as to where or who it was from. Her stomach dropped when she saw the return address. It was from LA. Alex sat down, hard, on the couch, her heart pounding in her ears as the envelope slipped from her hands, the pictures scattering on the carpet. `

_No._


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: (feel free to skip my useless rambling) **After another long week, here it is, a new update! So come on in, but wipe your feet, grab a comfy or spinny chair (you know, I'm thinking about investing in comfy _and_ spinny chairs!) and prop your feet up! I know this is a bit shorter of an update than we're used to, but the plot right now really revolves around Alex, so it was difficult to write from Matt's perspective. Let me go get the cookies, hot chocolate, and whatever else you'd be wanted and you can get started reading! Don't forget to click the button and leave a review on your way out. Reviews are candy :) I love coming home and finding them. So please enjoy, and have fun!

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29

**Telephone**

Matt was fumbling for his keys as he headed back to his apartment for the day. He stood on the entry to his front door, reaching into pockets. Nope, not that one. Was it in his lef-nope. He huffed and looked in his coat pockets, in his back pockets, in his wallet. Finally, in desperation, he checked his car. How the hell had he managed to get here with the car keys and not the house keys?

He sighed and tried to think of where he would've put them last. He must've locked his flat this morning, because it was locked now…which meant he had to have had them when he left the house. How many places were there between here and the coffee that he could've put them? The coffee shop wasn't one of them, Karen or Alex would've said something. He huffed and leaned against the wall of the building, thinking harder.

Wait.

He'd stopped by Alex's flat to find out if she'd wanted to go for coffee. Cailen had informed him that she had gone out for coffee already with Karen. They had to be over there. Oh! Of course, it was his habit to leave his keys on the side-table whenever he walked into his flat, it was natural that he do it at Alex's, right? He shook his head at his own clumsiness and went back to his car, starting it up. The keys had to be there!

At least, they'd better be, or he would be spending the night with Arthur and would never hear the end of it from Karen, even after he'd already had new keys made. It'd happened before.

He drove off to Alex's house and parked in the driveway, hopping out and shutting the car door, not bothering to lock it. He took the steps up to the front door two at a time and pushed the door open and went inside. He looked around. The house was quiet, he could hear cartoons going on in the living room and the hum of the bathroom fan. Where was Alex?

He blinked and shook his head. He was just here to get what he came for, say a quick and apologetic hello, and then go home.

Glancing around, his eyes caught his prize. The sun from the window glinted off the metal of his keys on the mahogany side-table in the foyer. He knew they were his because of the tangerine and blue friendship bracelet that was attached to them in the form of a keychain, the zig-zag pattern breaking off into slender braids at the end. Salome had made it for him a while back. He smiled and watched over, picking them up off the table and pocketing them.

"Matty?"

Matt turned and saw Salome in the archway to the living room. He gave her a smile, "Hey, Salamander."

She wrinkled her nose in confusion, "Were you going to visit today?"

He chuckled, "I wasn't planning on it, no, but my keys had other ideas. I accidentally left them here."

She nodded, "Oh." There was something unpleasant in her air, like she was worried about something. "Do you want to watch sponge-bob with me for a bit?"

He didn't have any pressing matters, but he wasn't invited over by Alex and he knew that a 'bit' with Salome could easily turn into three or four hours. "I'm actually going to go, but maybe tomorrow?"

"Kay."

Matt walked over and gave her a gentle hug. He was surprised at how stiff she was and knelt, looking her in the eye, "Everything okay?"

She blinked, glanced upstairs and then thought for a minute, her brow furrowing, "I'm not really sure…"

"Oh, where's your mum?"

"She's upstairs, talking to my dad," she replied quietly, chewing on her bottom lip.

Florian was here? "He's here?" He blinked.

Salome shook her head, "No, on the phone."

"Oh…" He frowned, wondering what he should do. Salome obviously wanted him to 'fix it', but he didn't think he should. He didn't really think Alex would appreciate him getting tangled with that mess between her and Florian. He wondered what it was about… he knew that he sometimes checked in with her, but if Salome was worried like this it was probably something important.

Either that, or Alex was very, very upset.

He knew, though, that this was Alex's private business, not his, and he'd spent a while building up trust between them and he wasn't about to pry into that side of her life now. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. He sighed and took some hair out of Salome's face. "I'm sure everything's going to be okay." He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and thank god Salome trusted him, because she nodded again and gave him a tiny smile, going back to the couch and flopping on it with that giant elephant to watch TV.

As Matt walked back towards the front door, as he passed by the hall to the bathroom, he could hear her voice muffled beneath the thrum of the fan. It was far too distorted to make out anything, and he knew he shouldn't be trying to listen in, but he was worried. His heart completely wrenched as he heard a few stifled tears, and then Alex's voice again, angry. Even though he couldn't hear it well, he could tell her volume and could imagine the way her eyes would be wide and glaring, hard as glittering jade. Matt was fighting back his protective male instincts, his body was tense, and he slowly ran a hand through his mop of hair. He sucked in a breath and forced himself to walk away, telling himself it was none of his business.

Matt sighed softly, hoping he was making the right decision. If he wasn't, he'd never forgive himself.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **I hope you all have been biting your nails. ;) I know, I know, I'm evil, but I'm simply having far too much fun! The coffee this time happens to be pumpkin spice, in honor of Thanksgiving. I hope you all are having an amazing Holiday, wherever and whenever you are in Time and Space! Hopefully you'll have lots of good food and families and fun. Please take the time to spend it with your family and friends, it's important. :) So, we have the edition of spinny AND comfy chairs, so enjoy those! (They're purple, so for all you purple haters...don't hate. Deal with it. I love purple, and I'm the author, so I get to say what color they are.) We also have pumpkin pie and apple pie and those cookies with extra chocolate chips. So sit back, enjoy this chapter, and please have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wish you all well, and see you next week! (Oh, and don't forget to leave a review ;))

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30

**Worth A Thousand Words**

Once she remembered to breathe, Alex quickly gathered up the photos and slipped them into their manila envelope. Salome was staring at her with a queer look on her face.

"Are you okay, mum?"

Alex quickly smiled and nodded, playing with her daughter's hair. "Yeah, I'll be right back, love…I have to call your father." She stood and snatched her cell from the side-table and tried not to storm down the hall.

Her mind was racing, her strides long as she fought to hold back the tears before she got to the solace of the bathroom. She couldn't cue Salome in to how upset she was. That was just ruin the day for both of them, and Alex couldn't have that. She shut the door and turned on the fan to muffle any sound, then slowly slid to the floor. She sniffled, feeling her eyes pool with hot tears. Her arms encircled her knees and her head fell forward, the hard, cold press of the cell phone made itself known in her right hand. She was so, so frightened, she almost felt sick. She needed to call him, but she couldn't call him until she'd already had a good cry… she couldn't let him know how much this had affected her.

It shouldn't affect her so much. It was just that it frightened her terribly. She'd had a horrific experience with the press in the past with her other marriages. Nobody had been sensitive. They'd all wanted to know why she and Florian had split, they'd asked all about the adoptions, and even before that…there were hundreds of speculations as to why her other husband had left her. It was all accompanied with a side of cruel comments about her age, her flirtatious nature, and everything and anything else they could find to pick apart. Even Salome.

Sometimes she wished she'd just gone to art school like she'd originally planned. Cold fear was setting itself into the pit of her stomach, her mind was racing with all the possibilities and her heart was burning with past wounds. She swallowed deeply and dialed Florian's number.

It felt like an eternity until he picked up.

She lost her courage once.

She found it again just before the dial tone finally ended.

That cold, mocking voice was in her ear. "_I assume you got the photos, then."_

"What do you want, Florian?" Alex tried to inject steel into her voice. It wasn't working.

"_I see my inkling about you and Matt Smith was true."_ She heard rustling, as if he was pushing papers around on a desk, looking for a particular one. His voice was so casual. _"Do you know he's nearly twenty years younger than you?"_

"Yes." She replied back in a clipped tone.

"_Ah, and yet you still fell for him. Why, a boy like that, especially him, could have absolutely any girl he fancied. He chose you? Well, aren't you _special._"_ His voice dripped with acidic sarcasm.

"I love him," Alex replied back firmly, then, with less affirmation, "And he loves me back."

"_Mhm. You've managed to keep this quite a secret, why_?" The questions were pointless. Yet, he was so confident. He was always three or four steps ahead of her, it was always a losing game with him.

"Does it matter?"

"_Well it obviously means you're ashamed of something…or…_" he chuckled, "_Afraid. Yes, it always was like you to hide and run away. Quite soft, you are_."

Alex asked her original question, though she was dreading the answer, "What do you want?"

"_I want to see my daughter, and obviously he's keeping you there. Tsk, tsk, Alex, letting your attractions to a silly boy get in the way of what our daughter obviously needs_. _So insecure._"

In spite of herself, guilt flooded her mind. That hadn't been it at all! Had it? Salome hadn't really wanted to go to LA, had she? Alex swallowed, "Like I said, she doesn't want to see you." She worked up some semblance of courage from the depths of herself, "She wants to stay here where she and Matt can be together. Matt actually pays attention to her."

"_Just because he wants you. Do you honestly think that after he's had his run with you, after he's gotten what he wants, that he'll stick around? Who else has_?" Florian's last question was biting. Mostly because it was one Alex had asked herself many a time. She gulped for air, leaning her head back against the wall and feeling a tear streak down her face as all of her own, barely healed wounds were ripped open, one by one. Why couldn't she just stand up for herself? "_He's not going to stay. You should know that. Why would he want to stay with you? You're just a fling, Alex, nothing more. A charity project. He'll leave eventually," he paused, "Especially once those pictures start circulating and the pressure begins_."

"You wouldn't," that was all she really had, and it wasn't much.

"_Oh, but I think you know the answer to that one_." The self-satisfied smirk that Alex knew well was fully evident in his voice. He was fishing. He'd reeled her in. She'd bit on the bait, now the hook was deeply embedded in her heart. She was trapped, and she knew it.

Alex also knew the answer to her own statement. Last time half the publicity of the divorce had been at his hands because he wasn't the person who would be hurt the most by it. He'd done it before, he'd be happy to do this again. But…this couldn't be about Salome, what was it really about?

Was he jealous?

A jealous Florian was a dangerous one.

"Why haven't you circulated them to the press yet, then? You've certainly had enough time. You jumped at the opportunity last time," Alex snapped back, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

There came another chuckle, "_You're not as clever as you look. Oh, but I already knew that_." He brushed that aside, "_Break off with Smith, you and Salome come back to LA, or I release the pictures and all hell breaks loose._" He paused, "_It's for the best really. A pre-emptive strike if you like. Break off with him before he hurts you. It'd be better that way, wouldn't it?" _

Alex swallowed, hard. She…couldn't do that to Matt. He wouldn't understand, he'd never understand. He'd be hurt and confused and he probably would never want to speak to her again.

He'd hate her.

He'd already given so much up just to be with her. He'd given up his past girlfriend, his time, and he'd let her see that vulnerable, domestic side of him. He'd flirted and listened and been there and understood.

He valued her.

His voice broke into her thoughts, "_So what's it going to be, Alex? Wouldn't it just be best? It's what's best for you. Think about it, is that sort of publicity really going to be good for Salome? Come on, think of what's best for her, too. She needs her father_."

He wasn't even letting her think. "Florian…"

"_A picture's worth a thousand words_," he paused, and she heard another rustle on the end of the line. Feeling her heart sink in her chest, her eyes closed at what he said next.

"_And you have _three."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **It's been such a crazy week! I can't believe finals is nearly here! I hope you guys all had a lovely Thanksgiving - for the person who asked what it was - it's a holiday we Americans celebrate in which we eat a TON of food, get together with family and friends, watch (American) football, and are thankful for our country and everything we've been given. It's a wonderful time of the year, and was made a National Holiday by our president, Abraham Lincoln. It's meant to commemorate the year after the Pilgrims landed in Virginia from the Mayflower, they'd had an extremely hard year, and nearly half of them died, but with the help of an Indian called Squanto, they were able to survive and grow themselves a large harvest. In thanksgiving to God and to their Native American friends, they held a huge feast to commemorate the occasion... so yeah. Anyway, long rambling that I still think is relevant XD Back to the story! Thank you Polka-Dot-Cutie for telling me about the coffee spill on the carpet, I've replace it with some lovely purple carpet, so I hope you guys like it! There's tea and coffee and everything that's usual. I do apologize for all the feels I'm giving you guys, and I'm afraid that it's not going to be much better for a few chapters...but I promise you guys it's going to get better eventually, so hold on! :) Anyway, sorry for that stupidly long ramble, enjoy your coffee and tea and cookies, and this chapter! And don't forget to review!

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31

**When You Find You**

Matt had tossed and turned all night, wondering what was up with Alex. He thought of calling her more times than he could count. He'd stopped himself from doing so just as many. What was wrong? Why had she been so upset? He wanted desperately to run over, to bring a couple pints of Ben&Jerry's and a fluffy blanket and _Star Wars Episode IV_ and just help her, to make it better, to fix it.

But, he knew there were some things that he couldn't fix with an episode of Star Wars and strawberry ice-cream. Alex was hurt, hurt more deeply than he could ever fathom, and he wasn't even sure if she wanted him to fix it. He knew that to him, she wasn't an item to be fixed. She was a beautiful person, and he just wanted to make her life better. He cared about her, and he dared to say he loved her. He'd told Salome that he'd wanted to marry her for always, and he did.

Finally, he dragged himself out of bed. When he did, it was near eleven. He went and ambled to the kitchen to get himself something to eat. Toby ran up to him, sensing something was amiss. His nose pressed into Matt's hand, and Matt absentmindedly scratched him behind the ears.

The dog's tail thumped once, but that was it.

Matt quickly fed him and then got himself a bowl of cereal. He sat and mulled it over, not really eating. He was too worried. He knew he could possibly make himself sick over this, but he didn't care. Alex hadn't called him, hadn't texted him, and he knew he sounded needy, but honestly he was. He needed to know she was okay.

Because there was nothing that hurt him worse than when she wasn't.

He sighed and rubbed at his face, leaving his spoon in the sodden flakes. His phone buzzed on the table, and he immediately grabbed for it.

Kaz.

His excitement faded. She probably was going to ask about the script or something important that happened on set. He answered it, his voice flatter than he would've liked, "Heya, Kazza."

"Matt…"

He straightened immediately. She sounded worried - extremely worried. "Everything okay? Have you heard from Alex?" He demanded that before he could even think.

"Yeah…Matt…she's moving back to LA."

His heart leapt up into his mouth. "What? Why?"

"I don't know, she doesn't really seem like herself. You should go talk to her, she wouldn't talk to me." He could hear the concern and the hurt in the way her voice was so tight.

"I wouldn't know what to say…" he chewed on his lip, though he was already getting his coat.

Karen sighed in exasperation, "Just be you and she might listen- and hurry up, she's already asked me to watch the house. Her plane comes tonight."

Matt was definitely hurrying, he tripped over his own feet as he pulled on his shoes. Toby barked. He huffed. "Alright, I'm heading over there right now." He didn't even think about the fact that he was still in a T-shirt and sweatpants and his hair was all askew. He ran to his car, hanging up on Karen. He started his car in a rush, breathing hard. Alex couldn't leave, this…this was permanent. Why was she leaving? What was wrong? What'd happened between her and Florian?

He sped off to her house, probably breaking all the limits. In ten minutes, he was in her driveway and running up the stairs. He pushed opened the door and looked around. Where was she? Had she left already? No, no, he reminded himself that her car was in the garage and she couldn't have possibly packed in that amount of time. He looked around, noticing how bare everything was.

She wasn't just packing suitcases.

She was packing for the rest of the time between filming.

He bounded down the hall, looking frantically for her until he skidded to a stop in the doorway to the study. There she was, putting things into boxes, wrapping the teacups ever so carefully with those slender, clever fingers of hers. Her hair was all a mess, thrown up into a haphazard ponytail and her eyes were red, her shoulders slumped in defeat. He swallowed.

"Salome, there's a sandwich for you in the-" she looked up and her eyes widened with surprise, "Matt?!" She sat back on her heels.

Matt was panting, he fought to control his voice. "Karen told me you're moving back to LA."

"Yeah," she nodded once.

His exclamation came out like a whiny, spoiled five-year-old, "B-but why?"

She stood, something strange in her eyes. They were unfathomable, no longer the jade he knew, but a deep, remorseful gray. She looked down at the floor, taking a deep breath. "Because I have to. You wouldn't understand."

"But…I thought…this was permanent."

"This?"

"…Us…" he amended slowly.

She let out a short, bitter laugh, batted an errant curl from her eyes, "Matt…I…can't do this-us anymore. I've got a daughter…past marriages…I'm twenty years your senior and this- the reason I can't do this…you… you can't understand."

"Try me," he insisted.

She shook her head, "You can't." She looked away from him and then knelt back to the floor, returning to pack. She carefully put the green lamp into the box, wrapping it in a bit of newspaper. She was blinking furiously, her lip was trembling, and Matt realized with a stab of pain that she was trying very hard not to cry.

He knelt to her level, "Alex…you don't have to protect yourself like this…I would never leave you and Salome. I would never, ever, ever hurt you like that."

She shook her head, still unable to look like him, "I…I can't believe that, Matt." She looked up at him, her eyes looked like stone after a hard rain, "Please…just let me go."

Oh, that hurt. Something inside of him twisted. What had all of that been, then, the trust? Had she really trusted him? Or was she merely pretending so that he would be placated? He looked around the room, at the green walls. Those wonderful, absurd green walls that were laced with so much memory. Memory of paint fights and kisses, of laughter and teasing – of love and trust.

She had trusted him. Something else was wrong and she wasn't going to tell him. He understood that she needed to protect herself, he understood her doubts. She'd been hurt too many times for him not to understand those nagging fears. She loved him, he knew that. Salome loved him. He knew that whatever this was, he couldn't fix it for her. He'd fought for her all this time: fighting to get her, fighting to keep her, fighting away all of her fears and premonitions and worries and demons.

But he knew now that this was something she was going to have to face on her own.

He stood, "Alright…Alright, okay." He let out a small sigh, looking around again at those beautiful green walls before he looked back at Alex, wanting nothing more than to take her into his arms and hug her tight. "I'll let you go."

He turned and started out, but caught himself on the doorframe. "Alex?" He turned back to look at her.

She looked up at him, brushing away that same curl that he loved, hands still holding a small figurine that had yet to be wrapped up and put away. He realized that this could be the last time he'd see her in a long time. He longed just for her to smile, he almost couldn't bear to walk away while she looked so stricken.

"When you find you…" he swallowed, "Come back to me, I'll be waiting."

He swallowed back hot tears as he walked out. The tears were a stark contrast to the bitter cold that was settling into the pit of his stomach.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling)** Hello, all my lovely, amazing readers! I hope you're all doing fantastically well.The week of finals draws scarily near! But thankfully I was still able to update ;) By the way, congratulations to Polka-Dot-Cutie for being the 160th review. If this fic gets 200...I may scream. But anyway, we're back with Alex and the aftermath of the breakup, I do apologize to all of you who I made cry (Oh wait... no I don't). I'm really sadistic, I know. *sigh*. Have a cookie, some tea or hot chocolate or coffee, and enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to leave a review.

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32

**Shattered Crystal**

As she watched him go, in her mind, she was screaming for him not to. Begging, really. She wasn't strong enough to do this, she couldn't be. She needed him, and she was so, so scared. Her mind was reeling as Alex packed the figurine into the box. She closed the flaps and taped them. They'd be mailed to the house in LA, while she and Salome took their suitcases with them on the plane.

Salome had been less than thrilled. She'd asked all the 'why's' and made it very clear that she didn't want to go. Alex had tried to keep calm about it, but it'd been difficult. This whole day had been one horrible conversation after another. First Salome, then the trials of actually forcing herself to make a flight reservation, then asking Karen to house-sit for her while she was gone… the explanation of why she was going. Then…then Matt.

She felt salty, painful tears springing to her eyes. Her heart felt like it was being torn out of her chest, and indeed, that might not be too far from the truth. She had told herself stubbornly that she was not going to cry. She couldn't, she was just going to get up, go have a sandwich and a glass of wine, and finish packing. She would be okay… it was just for a few months, anyway. She'd be back before she knew it.

But it wouldn't be the same.

She'd come back and have missed months of bonding between the Three Muskateers, it would be weird between her, Karen, and Arthur. And… and Matt… she and Matt would be walking on eggshells around one another, they wouldn't be able to talk. A rift had opened between the two, a rift that Alex had created because she was so damn afraid. She was pitiful. She couldn't help it. Her soul was far too raw, and she wasn't quite sure which was worse: the media, or coming back to a hurt Matt. The press would have a field day, it was true, all hell would break loose like Florian had said. The comments and the interviews and the articles would sting, they'd hurt Salome, Matt, and her. But coming back to Matt after all of this would be like rubbing salt on an open wound.

She sighed and stood, walking to the kitchen. Salome was thumping dejectedly down the hall, shoulders slumped, head down in defeat. Their heated argument from earlier had caused them both to run out of steam.

"Finished packing my room," she mumbled, following her mum to the kitchen.

Alex gave her a short nod and a brave smile, "Thanks…there's a sandwich for you in the kitchen."

Salome gave the same, short nod and sat at the table, starting on the sandwich while Alex ate hers and drank a glass of wine to calm her nerves. It wasn't helping -probably because she wasn't really drinking it. She swished the flavor around in her mouth, swallowed a bit, and swirled the red liquid in the glass. She then sighed lowly, leaning forward and rubbing her temples.

Salome looked up at her, "Can I not eat? I'm not really hungry…"

Alex gave her a small smile and nodded, "I'm not really either, love." She then got up, collecting the plates and dumping the sandwiches in the trash. "Scoot, go finish packing your suitcase for the plane."

The dishwasher was already running, so Alex filled the sink with hot water. She submerged the dishes, hissing at the warmth of the liquid and feeling the tingle of the suds popping around her hands. She began to scrub ferociously, feeling a bit of tension melt away at being able to do something.

She was interrupted by the doorbell. She huffed and let the dishes slip away into the depths of the sink, then went to dry her hands off. Who on earth could it be? She swore if it was Karen or Arthur, she wasn't answering it. She couldn't handle one more of those kinds of conversations. She walked over to the door and peered through the peephole, frowning in confusion when she saw no one. She opened it and looked around. She was just about to close it, muttering something about annoying adolescents playing tricks with the doorbell until she spied the small, cardboard package on the doorstep.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Had Florian taken more pictures? He already had his answer, what was the point of sending more? She really was not in the mood for this. She knelt, picking up the package and turning it over to see the return address.

Matt's flat.

It'd been mailed today, special delivery.

She sucked in a breath and weighed it in her hands, it was heavy, but not unbearably so. She frowned and took it inside, shutting the door behind her. Salome had come bounding down the stairs.

"Who was it, mum?"

"Nobody," Alex replied, "Package."

She looked disappointed, "Oh. From who?"

"Matty."

"Oh!" She ran over excitedly, watching with anticipation as Alex reached for her keys from the dish and slit the packing tape open. She sank to the floor and opened the flaps.

Alex sucked in another breath through her nose when she saw the contents. Wrapped carefully in bubble-wrap, lay two pairs of well-broken-in in-line skates. The blue wheels were scuffed, the laces yellowed, the leather had the tell-tale signs of age. They were the skates that Alex and Salome used when Matt was teaching them how.

"_Just skate over to me." He had said, his voice gentle, reassuring, "use your arms for balance, I know you can do it." _

"_But-" She had bit her lip, glancing down at the pavement. It would be cold, hard, and unforgiving to her soft and vulnerable limbs should she lose her balance. Without Matt's reassuring arms holding her steady, she wasn't sure if she would make it._

"_-I'll be right there if you fall, trust me." The way he'd said that had sent shivers down her spine. She trusted him. He'd catch her, sure._

_Alex had looked up at him, nodded and taken a deep breath. It took a second, but she managed to push her right foot forward. Then her left foot, then her right foot. It became easier with time, and a slow but enormous grin spread across her face as she realized how easy it had become with Matt's patient teaching. It was like learning to walk all over again, with the same, inexplicable feeling of freedom and glee. She could do this on her own!_

"_You're doing it, Mum!" Salome had yelled excitedly from the curb, echoing her mum's inner excitement._

_A few more shaky pushes across the pavement, and Alex had landed, all limp and noodle-y in Matt's arms. She was giggling madly, and he was laughing as he held her. "Told you you could do it, Kingston," he said softly, grinning proudly down at her. He was proud of her, Matt, her Matt was proud. She'd done well, and all because of him. He'd helped her to skate on her own._

_Alex had let out a shaky laugh, "Scariest thing I've done in my life."_

"_Oh, I doubt that." Matt had laughed as well and pulled her over gently and carefully to the safety of the curb _

Alex blinked back tears for the umpteenth time that day. She gently brushed her fingers over the skates and swallowed furiously to wet her suddenly dry throat.

"Looks like Matt gave us the skates to take with us."

A small grin spread across Salome's face, "Brilliant. I'm taking Grabbly on the plane with me."

Grabbly, the elephant Matt had given her. Alex smiled and nodded, "Good, are you all packed?"

She shook her head, "No…"

"Go finish then," Alex gave her a gentle pat on the bum as she went back to closing the box. Salome rolled her eyes and went down the hall.

Just before she reclosed the flaps completely, a slip of paper caught Alex's eye. She fished under the skates for it and pulled it out. She flipped it over and a small, sad smile spread across her face as she recognized Matt's scrawl.

_Hey, Kingston, _

_Thought you two could use the skates in LA. Have a good time, tell Salamander I'll miss her._

_I'll miss you too. _

_- Matty_

Impossible man! Alex sniffled, folding up the paper carefully. She tucked it away in her pocket and re-taped the box, adding it with the others to be mailed to the house. Then, she got up and went to go finish with the dishes.

She scrubbed vehemently at them. It was as if by banishing the dirty dishes, she could erase everything that was about to happen. She sniffled again, trying to blink back the tears as well. She was so close to losing it, and she couldn't allow herself that. Not now. She didn't have the energy to cry. Not to mention, it wouldn't change a thing. She rinsed each plate off and then began scrubbing carefully at the wine glass with a soft cloth. She drained the sink and rinsed the crystal piece off.

The water was sucked down the drain, Alex's hands slipped on the slick crystal, and the glass fell and shattered in the sink.

She let out one, low sob.

The sunlight glinting off the glass was reduced to a mere blur as she leaned against the counter and the tears streamed down her face without her consent. Her heart was twisting violently in her chest and she couldn't help it anymore. She tried to keep it down for Salome's sake, sucking in great, trembling volumes of air between quiet tears.

She was glad Salome wasn't there to see.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling)** Here we are, back with our dear Matt. Don't worry, you guys, it's not long before everything's righted, I promise. Hang in there ;) Well, finals are all completely done! My writing professor said I could borrow her name for a character in my novel (because her name is fantastic) as long as she isn't a villain and doesn't die XD I think that's fair, eh? Christmas is getting close! I'm thinking writing a 'christmas special' fic with the Doctor and River - so keep your eyes peeled for it. If anything, it'll come out on Christmas. Anyway, there's all the usuals here, coffee, tea, and your purple, spinny, comfy chairs! The cookies have extra chocolate chips - and there's some peanutbutter ones if you would like them as well. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy. Don't forget to leave a review on your way out! :)

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33

**Come Back To Me**

When Matt returned home that night, it was to a quiet flat. His gut felt like it'd been punched out, stomped on, and ran through the shredder. He wasn't even sure if he could feel his heart anymore.

This wasn't anything like it'd been when Daisy had broken up with him. It wasn't anything like the time when anybody broke up with him simply because there wasn't anybody like Alex. There was no part of Alex Kingston that could be mistaken for someone else. Not the sparkle of her eyes, the bouncy, mad mop of blonde curls, the gentle curve of her mouth. Not the outrageous things that came out of her mouth when she wasn't thinking, or her bright, full, throaty laugh. Not her flirtatiousness and her optimism and her fears and her brilliance. There was only one Alex Kingston, and he was pretty sure he'd just lost her.

He sat down, hard, on his couch and ran his hands through his hair, wondering what to do next. Toby came over, tail completely still, that doggy-grin gone. He could sense something was wrong. Matt allowed the dog to heave himself up on the couch and place his golden head in Matt's lap, feeling a stab of fresh pain as he did so. Images of Alex, crouched on the floor, scratching Toby behind the ears enthusiastically, her voice praising him and her beautiful giggle while the dog wriggled happily. Those quiet moments on his couch, her head on his shoulder, pillowed against that fantastic hair, Toby's head resting her lap as she played with his ears.

Matt swallowed and petting the dog's head, "I miss her too," he whispered.

Funny, it'd only been a few hours, yet it wasn't really Alex's physical presence he missed. He missed her presence in his life, the knowing that he had someone who loved him, that he loved back, that he belonged to someone. He sighed softly and pushed Toby off his lap, getting up and walking to his bedroom.

It'd only taken a few minutes, and suddenly, that comforting knowing had been ripped away.

He walked over the soft carpet, falling to his knees by his bed and reaching under it, fumbling among dust-bunnies and forgotten socks. Finally, his hand closed upon his treasure – a small, velveteen box. He fished it out and turned to press his back against his bed, holding the little box in his hands, fingers rubbing with a fond melancholy over the red plush. He bit his lip, flipping the top open. There, packed away safely like a promise was the little silver band, topped with a small diamond.

It was never to be a big, gaudy thing for the woman he chose. His fingertips ran lovingly over the cool, twisted rings of silver, soldered together for eternity. His breath hitched as they caught on the rough of the shining sapphire. It was by no means a conventional wedding ring, but somehow, he'd always known that the woman he chose would be altogether unconventional. He knew that Alex liked the traditional, but he wanted it to be special.

He felt a lump growing in his throat as he stared down at the blue of the sapphire – so like her eyes when she was happy. They were always blue as a summer sky, or green like the grass…like an uncut stone of jade. Tears formed in his eyes, stinging his vision, blurring the stone and silver.

His fingers cold around hard, unyielding metal, the only thing that was firm that he felt himself gasping for air, drowning, falling. He had shot for something completely impossible, imagined the far-flung dream of having this ring around Alex's finger, her hand to hold for eternity. How could he have been so foolish? He had thought he was so strong, so strong. It had been a fragile strength, a strength that he had found when he had to be strong for her. But that cookie could crumble so quickly when the person that he had been trying to be strong for decided not to let him take on that role anymore. He had nobody to catch him, he was in free-fall.

She was so different from any other girl he'd ever loved. He supposed that was because Alex wasn't a girl – she was a woman. She was hurt and yet still chose to love. So many fears, so many frightened nights alone, and yet she hadn't come out as an embittered shell…she'd come out of it as a beautiful, if not broken, woman. The thing was…he didn't care that she was a little broken, because he was too.

But he realized with a sinking feeling that Alex probably would never come back to him. She'd chosen to leave, God knows why, and he had chosen to let her go. It had been his only choice, he couldn't force her to say.

He could hear the relentless dripping of the faucet (drip, drip, drip), something burning in the kitchen – a pungent, sharp smell. His head fell back against the silky, smooth bedspread, and he took a deep breath of the air. Toby came in, nails catching in the carpet. He rested his head in Matt's lap, but Matt gently pushed him away and stood.

He walked to the TV and turned it on, letting the nightly news ramble. A cold gust of air rushed in through the window, and he didn't bother to close it. He simply wrapped his arms tighter around himself, hearing the rustle of papers in the background. He stared on, seeing but not comprehending, hearing but not listening to the people rambling on the screen. The only thing he could think of was the touch of a hand in his (warm, gentle, insistent), the phantom whisper of a curl on his cheek, and he was gone from the room, somewhere else. It was hours before he realized the world had gone dark and his fingers had been turning the box around in his hands.

He looked at the time and realized Alex would be on the plane right now. The thought made his heart sink further into the pit of his stomach. Finally, not thinking about where he was going or where he would end up, and not bothering even to take his coat off the peg, he pulled on some shoes and went for a walk, the tiny, velvet box in his pockets.

His fingers were turning the box over, murmuring over the little metal latch, stroking the velvet like a rosary. His lips moved as he walked, staring at the wet pavement. It shone like silver in the night under the street lights as he uttered his silent prayer. On he went, winding through the streets, the hubbub of Cardiff fading to a background noise around his mantra (Come back). Absently, he kicked aside a glass bottle, and it shattered, dashed against the curb. The light of it was blurry in his peripheral vision.

It would seem he was in a dream state as he continued down the street, trying all at once to let go and to move on… his physical steps a desperate effort to make himself do something to banish the thought of her (laughing eyes, spattered green paint). The memories wouldn't leave, however. Why hadn't he been quicker? Why hadn't he done everything he could to show her that he loved her, that she would be safe with him? He had never intended to break her already mangled heart, and now she was flying halfway around the world to protect what she had left…protect it from him. He couldn't blame her, really.

He didn't realize it for a good while that he had been making his rounds around that same lake that he and Alex had walked months before…

_A had breeze ruffled Alex's beautiful curls as she walked arm-in-arm with Matt around a grey lake. He couldn't help but notice it. The water lapped at the shore. The lake was a curious thing to see in the middle of Cardiff, but it was a natural body of water, and so had been preserved and built around, rather than destroyed to make way for the city. It made a nice little park, and vendors frequently stopped here to sell hot dogs or ice cream or any other random thing. There was a little cuppa shop as well, and that was where they were headed. He loved this park, it was familiar to him. He often came here to think._

_He hoped that his request hadn't been too forward. Alex's response had been a pleasant surprise. Now, as they walked just around the lake, passing a small bridge that spanned the natural lake, Alex's voice had broken the silence between them. _

"_Matt?" _

"_Yeah?" His gaze returned to hers, and his breath had hitched a bit as he stared into those beautiful jade eyes. Her face had been etched with some kind of bothersome worry. _

_She bit her lip, looking down at the pavement as they walked, "You sure this is okay with Daisy? Us, alone, going for coffee?" _

_Matt took a heavy sigh, remembering his conversation with Daisy earlier. She had set him free to pursue Alex, and now was the moment of truth. He didn't know how Alex would react to this statement… "Daisy and I aren't together anymore."_

_He had nearly jumped when Alex's head snapped up, "What?" _

_Her eyes searched his face, Matt could nearly feel them prying apart his mind, assessing what his feelings were on the matter. She seemed so shocked, so worried. With a slight pang of sadness, he realized she looked extremely guilty. Matt stopped walked and stopped her as well when her arms wrapped around herself._

_He turned towards her, taking her by the wrists and unwrapping her. His hands encompassed hers icy ones. "It's not your fault, Kingston." He had tried to reassure her._

_It didn't seem to work. "But- I- thought you two were happy…" she stumbled over her words, and he was surprised. She was normally so eloquent._

"_And we were, it was just-" His face swam as he sought the correct words, he had no idea what to say to make her feel better… to fix it. "She decided it was time to move on." _

"_Because of me." Alex said softly. The whisper hit him, stabbed into him. His breath hitched a bit as he could feel the pain and remorse dripping from her voice. _

"_Yes – N-no!" Matt's eyes clenched shut, his lips pursing together, "No." His eyes opened again, and he looked at Alex, squeezing her hands, trying to make this better. "Trust me- that's- it wasn't like that, Alex." He sighed, pulling her over to sit down on a nearby bench so he could explain it in full. "We never really meant for our relationship to be permanent, you have to understand that, it- it was just-" _

"_Casual?" Alex filled in for him when his own words ran out. Bless her!_

_He nodded, "Yes, thanks. We had boundaries, never talking about the future, crap like that-" He trailed off, trying to think. It took him a while before he realized she had zoned out, staring at her hands, her face swimming. He could nearly see her falling down a slippery slope, one he'd been down countless times. Tears were forming in her eyes._

"_Alex?" He bit his lip, trying to save her from her own self-accusing thoughts._

"_S-sorry, I-I'm fine." Her voice was so thick and small, and it tore at him. _

_He covered her hands in his and whispered, "I know you're not." _

_Matt watched helplessly as she began to dissolve into tears, struggling with her emotions. He nearly held his breath, she looked so pained, so desperate. In response he knew how to give, his grip tightened as well and he whispered again, "None of this is your fault, Alex. I chose this, okay? Daisy and I did together." He needed to make her understand that, that this wasn't her fault, that this was okay, that this was something he wanted._

Matt's own current thoughts broke in at that moment. That was just like Alex today, he realized. It seemed she'd been struggling to articulate what she wanted, and he knew what that struggle had felt like. She must have really wanted this then, and he couldn't blame her. Maybe he wasn't right for her, maybe he had fought too hard…

_Alex had hiccupped softly, burying her face in his shoulder. Matt had wrapped his arms awkwardly around her, holding her gently, rocking her a bit. He didn't know what to do, so he said the only thing he could._

"_I know you probably aren't ready to hear this, Alex, but-" He swallowed, his heartbeat quickening. What would she say? Was this the right time to say it? "What I took you out here to tell you was… I chose you." _

_He watched in breathless fear as her eyes widened and she pulled away from him. "What?" she breathed. "Why on earth-"_

_He stopped her, "Because you're bloody fantastic, Alex Kingston, and I love you." There. He had said it. It was out. _

_She blinked, "But- don't you think this is a little early after-"_

"_-It's okay. I'm ready-" He interrupted her again, squeezing her hands, "But- are you? Because… if you're not then it's okay, I'll wait for you until you are…" He bit his lip, looking away in momentary shyness, feeling a blush rising to the tips of his ears, "I mean do you even-?"_

"_Shut up." Alex said quickly before he could finish his thought. "I want to be with you Matt-" she said carefully, picking her way through her words. _

_Matt looked at her hopefully, was she going to say what he thought she was? Was she… _

"_I-I don't think I'm ready yet," she admitted softly, breaking into his far-flung hopes._

_Matt's face fell, his heart dropped. He thought for a moment, sorting through his own mixed emotions. How could he expect her to be ready? His thumbs finally began to draw circles on the backs of her hands, "That's alright." _

"_I-I'm sor-" _

_No, she couldn't apologize. She had no reason to. He pressed a finger to her lips, "Don't apologize, Kingston. I wouldn't have it any other way right now. I can't begin to imagine what's going on in that head of yours…but I want you to know that I'll always be here, because you're worth it."_

Matt drew in a ragged breath, holding the box, balancing on the railing of the bridge as he stared down into the moonlit, misty reflections in the water. She was worth it. She was more than worth it. Her with that sassy smirk, that magnificent head of hair, her secrets and her pain and her loving, affectionate spirit – the way she cared for Salome, the way she put others above herself. She didn't deserve to be hurt so, and Matt was slowly coming to terms with the fact that maybe this was best for her… he would endure being hurt for her sake…if it made her feel better, safer, more secure. He didn't want to hurt her, ever, he didn't want her to be hurt – and that even meant saving her from herself. He would, he always would.

Like the adage goes – one could endure a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

Opening the box one last time, he came upon another realization as he stared down at that sapphire. This ring could be for nobody else but Alex. She'd stolen his heart, as ridiculous as it sounded. He couldn't imagine this on anybody else's finger but hers. He was hers, and hers alone, always and completely. It was just her, it had always been just her. There would never be another. He didn't care what pain that would bring him, he would wait for her the rest of his life if he had to. A world of demons for the sake of his angel. One does crazy things for love.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: (feel free to skip my useless rambling) **and so, I've survived my first term at college! O.O Woohoo! Take that, finals! I'm finally on Christmas break! I hope all of you guys are having a fantastic week, I am. Well, come on in, wipe your feet, and enjoy all of the Christmas cookies and eggnog and tea and hot chocolate and coffee! There's a fire going in that fire-place-that-I-totally-own, and you guys are free to make yourself comfortable! This chapter was pretty painful to write, but don't worry, things _are_ going to get better for our dear Alex, I promise. So sit back, enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out! See you all next week, and Merry early Christmas!

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34

**The House on Third Street**

There had been nobody to meet them at the airport. Why had Alex been surprised? Of course he wouldn't have bothered to come – that wasn't what this was about. It was about getting her away from Matt. She walked up the steps to the too-large, drafty house that overlooked the ocean and opened the door with an underused, old key. Salome stepped inside and began clunking up the stairs with her suitcase to her old room to get some sleep.

Sleep. Sleep would be nice, yes. Alex rubbed her forehead as she glanced around this house, so filled with old, stagnant memories. Memories of a loveless, pointless marriage that she'd been entrapped in for years. She could feel the iron steel snapping around her again, and swallowed as she slowly passed down the hall to the kitchen, fingers brushing on the wallpaper as she went.

Florian.

He was sitting with his back to her, pouring over some papers at the kitchen table. Her breath hitched in her chest, entangled there like some wild thing. That cold, stony voice carried through the kitchen to her.

"Good. You're here."

He didn't even look at her.

Alex swallowed desperately, leaning against the doorframe. "What are you doing here?"

She felt nausea rising in her throat as he turned, a small smile slicking across his face just as she had remembered it. "It's my house, or do you forget? I ought to be asking _you _that question." He tossed a quarter up in the air lightly and stood, his grin widening. "Oh, right. You came here by my request."

"It was hardly a request."

"True." He nodded, seeming not to dispute that fact as he ambled over to her. "So, have we quite forgotten this Matt Smith nonsense?" He searched her face, black eyes boring into her skull, something very unpleasant in his stare that forced her to look away. He nodded. "Ah. I see we haven't."

She felt long hands resting on her hips, and she flicked them away indignantly. "Don't you dare touch me."

He tutted her, "Are we back on that again?" He put a finger under her chin and smiled coyly down at her, "Honestly, you're being quite rude."

"Well some people would consider it rude and ungentlemanly to keep tabs on their ex for blackmail purposes," she snipped back, recoiling from him. She'd forgotten how much he unsettled her. The smile faded from his face, and she felt a small twinge of fear in her as he glared at her before walking away.

"So where is the little patch of sunshine?" He asked brightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet and putting his hands in his pockets while he glanced up the stairs.

"In her old room, probably going to bed," Alex replied, folding her hands across herself and taking a step towards the hall, walking swiftly past him and leaning on the banister as if she could block his way in his own home.

He shrugged and turned away, almost bemusedly, and Alex felt herself relax slightly. His voice continued, "Well, no matter, there'll be plenty of time to see her later."

Alex sighed a bit and walked past him again to the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of tea from the heated kettle. It was almost like he'd heated it for her. She sat down, and sipped on her tea, trying to forget he was even in the room. Florian made it impossible though as she heard his footsteps come closer, and then his fingers rested on her shoulders, gently massaging them. Alex flinched.

His breath was in her ear, a finger parted her curls. "I am not going to hurt you, or do anything with you that you don't want to do, so relax," he whispered before letting his well-experienced fingers map familiar paths over her neck and shoulders.

Despite herself she let her guards down. She relaxed, even melted into his touch as the familiar taste of the tea was on her tongue, and his fingers rubbed soothing circles on her back. It was a acquainted and well-broken-in ritual after their fights. She knew where it would eventually lead, and somehow she wasn't really that opposed to it. She needed to forget for the night, to retreat behind her comfortable little shell that Matt had so carefully drawn her out of. It was safer there, safer to be in a content, mediocre little personal life that she'd been accustomed to for so many years. She found herself slipping easily back into old patterns, and it wasn't entirely against her will.

She decided it was simply a coping mechanism.

There was still that little part of her that hated herself for being so weak, so pathetic, as to give in so easily and betray Matt like this. It wasn't fair to him, it screamed. He'd worked so hard to show her all that he was willing to give. She'd rejected him, and he was probably in some pub right now, heartbroken.

"He would've left you eventually," Florian murmured, "And in the end, this would be how it would be, you, me, in this house again. You always come back. It's inevitable."

He seemed to only echo her own thoughts. Her own, treacherous thoughts. She didn't know up from down anymore it seemed, and she hated herself for being so malleable. The truth was, she just wanted to be loved by _someone_, she hardly cared who right now.

When Florian pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to gentle her lips apart, she felt a keen sense of something. _Surrender. _Yes, that was it, surrender. She couldn't quite say she kissed him back, but she allowed herself to be kissed, neither returning it nor fighting it. The pain was physical as he bit down, sucking, drawing blood from her bottom lip until he soothed it with his tongue. Her brain was too fogged, too exhausted to care about where this was headed. She needed comfort, and Florian seemed happy to provide. She was so tired, tired of the struggle, the struggle that the two of them had always had. Now, she was giving in, just for a moment, to grant herself some much needed rest. This was welcome.

That was probably why it was no surprise to her when she found herself being led to the bedroom. It was easy, something nearly programmed in her mind to go after. She knew he was molding her. She didn't care. She simply felt so empty and angry at the same time. Empty because somewhere inside of her she knew this wasn't how it should be, and angry because she also knew that she'd chosen this. Despite feeling like she hadn't had a choice…she had, really, and she'd chosen the easier, safer route, because she was just that weak.

She admitted it freely…she was weak. She'd never been a strong person by choice. She had always been vulnerable and malleable. She wasn't proud of it, and she'd learned to hide it well, to stand up for herself even a little bit – but that wasn't by nature – it was just a coping mechanism – a mask, one she gladly cast off when it became too hard to wear. She wasn't strong enough to do this on her own, was she?

When he was through with her, he left, as he always did. Those few moments of affection vanished like wood-smoke curling out the door, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She lay there alone in a cold bed. Florian was gone, and with him that pretense of love and security that she'd had for an hour or so – but his threats still lingered. Alex curled in on herself and drew a pillow to her chest to fill the space where a warm, soothing presence should have been.

Slowly, she allowed her mind to wander. It flew across the ocean and into an entirely different bed – a blue one. One where somebody else lay there in the dark, breaths a constant, reassuring rhythm against her cheek. His arms would be around her, and the room would be warm and calming. Alex allowed the dream to settle about her mind, resting there for a few minutes as she hugged the pillow tightly, curling half around it, half on top of it.

But she had to let it go… in the end, such a daydream wouldn't do her any good, it would only serve to make her more miserable. So, she flicked it away. As her eyes closed she felt a numbness seeking its way back into her heart. It was an old, familiar companion. One she gladly accepted. One that lulled her to sleep that night, worlds away from the one place she really wanted to be.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Hello, my dear readers, and a very merry and belated Christmas to you all! I hope you guys had an amazing Christmas. I for one had my relatives over which I haven't seen in a very long time. It was absolutely fantastic, if not a bit tiring. (I'm an introvert so social interaction tends to wear me out). Anyway! Unfortunately, all the Christmas decorations have been taken down, but there's still that fire and those wonderful, purple, comfy, spinny chairs and the purple carpet! I can't decide if this chapter is much better than the last, you'll have to decide for yourselves. But do try to enjoy it while you drink your tea! Wipe your feet when you come in, leave your dishes in the sink on your way out, please, and don't forget to leave a review! :)

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35

**If I Could, then I Would**

Days passed since Alex had left. Matt found himself walking the same route around the lake every day at exactly 2 o'clock. And it was at this time that he was skipping stones across the grey waters, causing ripples to echo on the water. He didn't care who saw him at this point. His hair was ruffled in a gust of wind, and he took a deep breath. He was breathing, yes…but was he really alive? In his heart, in his head, he knew that he wanted to be with Alex for all time, that was all he really wanted at this point – and it was the one thing he couldn't have. He couldn't tear his thoughts away from her. Her stricken face haunted him, lingering in his thoughts, running through his dreams, screaming at him that her heart was broken and that he hadn't done a thing to mend it.

After a few moments, he found himself ambling down a street to he knew not where. That little box was still in his pockets- it never left.

Sometimes, he couldn't breathe.

Alex was gone.

Oh, she'd be back when the season started up again, but _his Alex was gone._ They wouldn't be able to talk or to laugh – he would have to keep his distance once more. He couldn't kiss her with the same passion, or wrap his arms around her. She was gone, gone, gone. Things would never be the same. Matt wasn't entirely sure how he'd manage seeing her again when the filming began.

It wasn't until he tripped over the curb that he realized where exactly he was. He looked up to see that blue, modest house. The brambly, homely rose bushes winding around the foundation. The windows were dark, the mailbox was slightly askew. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked up the stairs. Kaz might be out, but he didn't care. He went inside anyway.

He felt sick as he walked through the hall, forcing himself not to look into that god-forsaken den. He went into the kitchen and leaned against the shining metal sink, staring down at the drain. He looked over, and the glint of something caught his eye. He frowned and peered into the bin, not even considering that it might be strange to do so, and found the shards of broken crystal.

One of Alex's favorite wine-glasses.

She had always been so careful with them, she handled them reverently. They'd been German-make, her mother's. And she had exactly six- well, now five.

He wondered vaguely if Kaz had broken it.

"Matt?"

He blinked and turned, seeing Karen standing in the doorway to the kitchen, holding her phone in her hand and staring at him like he'd grown three heads.

"Oh, heya Karen," Matt said listlessly.

"What on earth are you doing here?" She asked him, walking over slowly.

"Noticed there's crystal in the bin…" Matt rambled, "What happened?"

Karen glanced at the bin, "Oh, that…I came in and there it was in the sink. I suppose she didn't bother to clean it up."

That wasn't like Alex. Matt swallowed. She must have been so upset… "Oh. Yeah…"

"So why are you here?"

He shrugged, looking around the kitchen. "I'm not entirely sure…I suppose…" he sighed softly and ambled to the kitchen table and put his head in his hands, "I suppose some part of me wanted to find her here."

"Matt, it's not like she's dead or anything, she'll be back in two months." She walked over and sat across from him, an eyebrow arching curiously. "Or is that too long?"

"Far too long," his mouth felt dry. "We were together."

Karen's mouth fell open and she shook her head and then stared at him, "Excuse me?"

"We. Were. Together." Matt said more firmly that time. "We were together and she just…broke up with me – left …"

"Oh my god! I knew it!" Karen all but screamed. She giggled lowly and then noticed his expression, "Sorry…" She got up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sure it'll be fine, Matt. She just needs some space."

"I don't think so," he murmured. "She's scared out of her mind that the press will find out and have a field day." He felt some measure of indignation, "Which they shouldn't. She has the right to whoever she wants, no matter who she is or what her age is. It's the most sexist thing I've ever heard- I mean, Tennant and Billie were the exact same difference and nobody had a problem with imagining those two together…but then there's Alex and I…the only difference is that Alex is the older one. What's wrong with the woman being older than the man?"

"Matt-" Karen interrupted his angry rant, "Matt, shh. You're going to give yourself a coronary or something." She sighed and sat. "She'll come to her senses and come back, I promise." Unfortunately, that didn't really help him much.

Matt simply shook his head and then stood. "I should go."

"You sure you don't want some tea or something?"

He shook his head again, "No. I'm fine." He then sighed, "And don't tell Arthur, okay?"

"I promise I won't," Karen said sincerely, nodding.

"Thank you." Matt turned and started out the door, past that green room that Alex and he had painted together. As he walked down the blustery street, passing crowds of people, his hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down, hair flopping in his eyes. Somehow all he could think about was running his hands through Alex's hair, tangled up with her when the morning dawned bright and clear. Her phantom lips brushed against his. One tear fell and struck the pavement with a sharp splash. Then another, then another.

He bit back a soft sob. He wasn't strong enough to do this on his own. He needed her, he needed to care for her, to love her. Everything was secondary to his need to see her smile and wrap his arms securely around her, to let her know that he would love her forever. Alex had asked him to let her go, and he couldn't keep that promise, she didn't understand the impossible thing she was asking him to do. His fingers closed around that small box one more time and he kicked aside a fluff of dry autumn leaves. How could he simply move on with his life like they had never happened? It was like Alex had bewitched him, cast her spell.

They were bound together, Alex and him, by an invisible thread, so tenuous and yet so strong. Silken rope, wound around his ankle, was pulling him (drawing him) after her. He couldn't help it. He'd given her his heart and she held it, and he kind of hoped she would be careful with it…because it was the only heart he had, and she would have it forever.

If he could, then he would run to LA and tell her so. What difference would it make, though? She didn't want his help anymore, that much was clear. He couldn't help her. This was something she had to do on her own, to find herself, to stand up for herself. Matt prayed she would do it quickly. Somehow, though, he felt that once Alex discovered just how truly brilliant she was (the way she was in his eyes), she would realize that she didn't need him. She deserved so much better than him, and it was really pure luck that someone like her had ended up with someone like him.

He ought to be grateful for that short amount of time they had, and yet he couldn't be.

In minutes, he found himself back at his own home and he went into his room, setting the box on his nightstand. It was just after four. Toby came in and pushed into his hand. Matt gave him an absentminded scratch behind the ears as he sank onto the bed.

He was startled out of his reverie by the ring of his phone. He grabbed it an glanced at the caller ID. His heart thumped in his chest wildly.

_Alex._

His mouth went dry and he answered it, the blood rushing into his ears. "Hello."

"_Matty?" _

Salome.

He shifted in his seat and frowned. Why was Salome calling him. "Hey, Salamander…I miss you," he gentled his voice as he realized hers was tinged with worry.

"_Miss you too. Can you come to LA?"_

"I don't think your mum wants me there," Matt murmured an apology.

"_Please? Mum's not good… I want you to come and fix it, she's always happy when you're around. Please, Matty?" _

Somehow, he thought that Alex wouldn't be happier should he show up. "Salamander…"

"_Please. She and Dad are always fighting, and he's really mean to her and I can't do anything…" _

Something flared in his chest. Florian was there? He felt a war within himself between his protective instincts and his desire to respect Alex's wishes. The protective instincts won.

He jumped up and grabbed his coat. He'd have to make a last minute ticket reservation…but what the hell? "Alright, Salome, I'm on my way. Everything's going to be fine."

"_Good…" _There was crackle on the end and the sound of muffled but raised voices in the background. "_I gotta go… Mum's looking for her phone. Bye, Matty…see you soon."_

"Bye, I love you." Matt whispered. There was a click on the other end and Matt went to quickly make the flight reservations.

He hurriedly packed a few things he needed. Matt then glanced at the nightstand, a small plan forming in his mind. It was too late to apologize… but maybe it wasn't too late for something else. He grabbed the square, velvet box and pressed a kiss to it, pleading one last time over it as he put it in his pocket and rushed to print his tickets.

His plane would leave in an hour.

He'd better get going.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: (feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Woohoo! I am so exhausted right now! Lord of the Rings marathon for the win. :D After seeing the Hobbit, I just couldn't help myself. But don't worry, this chapter wasn't written while I was this exhausted - it was written when I was (relatively) much more sane. You guys will enjoy this one, I think. It has a bit of a surprising twist that you'll like. Anyway, can't give too much away - spoilers and whatnot. So, come on in! What are you waiting for! *Hands you a cup of tea* Sit down, drink this tea! Have a cookie, any cookie! They're imaginary so it can be any cookie you like - even a rainbow one. (Ever wondered what a rainbow tastes like? Here's your chance!)

Oh, and a translation for the German terms of endearment from our _dear_ and most _beloved_ Florian:

_Kätzchen - _Kitten

_Schätzchen - _Little Mouse

Enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out. Cheers! :) And see you all next week for more!

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36

**Done**

Rain was a soft lull in Alex's ears one Saturday morning. She turned in the cold, empty bed that she'd grown accustomed to over the years and tried to get even a wink more of sleep. It was to no avail. She hadn't really slept much in the past few days in general, it'd been positively miserable… but she kept telling herself that all of this was for her and Salome's good. She sighed and lay flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling, finding shapes and patterns in it and following them with her eyes until she decided she'd best get up. She could smell the smoky, savory scent of bacon wafting on the air up the stairs. Florian must be up. Slowly, she pulled herself up out of bed to begin the battle against her own thoughts and emotions once again. Every day was a constant fight to keep Matt and her own misery out of her thoughts. Honestly, living in this house wasn't helping. There were so many memories that lurked around the corners of the halls and behind doors. It was like she could hear every raised voice, every harsh word, every biting spiteful remark ringing in her ears as if they'd just happened. She could remember the feeling of silence, her silence, like a cold strongbox with a vice around her. She no longer felt safe anymore.

Alex banished those thoughts from her head and wandered down the stairs and into the bright and deceptively cheerful looking kitchen. Without really thinking, she cooked herself an egg or two, her troubled mind not resting on the task at hand. Florian hadn't done a thing with Salome since they had arrived. He seemed only to be interested in Alex – and even that was limited to what she could do for him. Alex's own mind was nagging at her to do something about it, to be brave and courageous and to do the 'right thing'. But was it the right thing? Was staying with Florian to protect herself and Salome from the destruction of the media the right thing? Or was being reckless and brave and staying with Matt the right thing? She didn't even know. What could she do? If she crossed Florian even once, she knew he would be sure to release the images to the press. Matt would be even more unhappy with her, Salome would be subject to uncomfortable questions and criticism, and Alex would be picked apart. She'd be questioned as a good mother, even. People would speculate on her motives and Alex didn't think she was strong enough to be able to go through that again.

Minutes later, her thoughts were broken as Florian's snakelike presence became known in the room. His arms slithered around her waist and she sucked in a breath, feeling a familiar _disquiet_ settle over her. When his nose buried in her curls, she pulled back, scraping the eggs onto a small plate and snatching an orange from the fruit bowl. She then quickly walked to the table and sat to quietly eat.

"Well, good morning to you too," Florian replied, disenchanted with her attitude.

Alex was a bit more than disenchanted herself, but she said nothing, simply sipping on her morning coffee. She suddenly looked down and realized it was her dalek mug. That was nothing really unusual…it was just that… Matt wasn't here to steal her coffee. She set it aside and returned to her eggs.

She was startled by the bump of something soft landing in front of her, and she looked up to see that enormous stuffed elephant that Matt had given Salome staring at her with a doleful expression on its gray little face. Florian slid into a chair in front of her and folded his hands. "So."

"Where did you get that?" Alex immediately demanded.

He reached for the elephant just as Alex did, effectively pulling it out of her reach. "Salome was sleeping with it, I didn't recognize it. I'm curious. Can't I be curious?" He lifted it up by the neck and turned so he could look at it properly. "Nope, definitely not one _I_ gave her. A birthday present perhaps?" Alex could tell from his dangerously playful tone that he knew very well where she'd gotten it from. She answered anyway.

"Matt gave it to her."

"I noticed she's not sleeping with the adipose anymore."

"That's because she likes the elephant better."

One dark eyebrow arched and he stared at her coldly from over the top of his coffee cup. "I suppose she likes 'Matty' better as well." The nickname Salome had given Matt sounded like a curse on Florian's tongue.

"Yes she does," Alex snipped back.

There came a full laugh. "You're still stuck on the adoption issue, aren't you?"

Her head snapped up and she looked at him, eyes smoldering, "Well, I don't know about you, _darling_, but I got my heart broken over that adoption issue and the person who was supposed to be there for me rubbed it in my face."

"Not my fault I married a wench who just wanted another kid and wouldn't leave the matter bloody well enough alone," Florian hissed back.

"Then why did you marry me in the first place?" Alex snapped, standing up and gathering her plate and taking it to the sink.

He smirked. "All the other girls were taken." He stood and walked over to her, leaning on the counter, "And don't think that Matt would marry you." Alex stiffened at that, but Florian continued. "There's a reason people keep divorcing you, _Kätzchen,_ if he's smart he'll leave well enough alone. I'm doing him and you a favor."

"Matty wants to marry her."

Alex blinked and swallowed a remark that had been building in her throat and turned, seeing Salome leaning on the doorframe, folding her arms around her fleece-pajama'd self. Her eyes widened slightly, wondering how much of that her daughter had heard. "Oh. Love…we thought you were in bed."

Salome didn't pay any attention her, she just glared up at her father and walked over to the table and snatched the elephant off of it and hugged it close. "Matty wants to marry her, he said so," she insisted. "He said he wants to marry her for always."

"Did he now?" Florian's eyes hardened to bits of glittering flint as he eyed his daughter like she was a choice cut of meat on a plate.

Salome's arms tightened around the elephant and she nodded adamantly. Alex sucked in a sharp breath, it catching in her throat as she watched Florian kneel in front of Salome, a completely unbothered smirk on his face. "_Schätzchen, _you know he didn't mean it, right?"

"Of course he did," she snapped back. "Matty always means what he says."

He chuckled lowly, "No, I'm afraid he was lying to you, trust daddy, hm? He knows."

"No," was Salome's single answer.

Alex's breath was coming quickly as she leaned against the counter. "Darling, when did Matty tell you that?"

"When I was sick and you were gone. I asked him if he wanted to marry you for always and he said yes."

She was slowly processing that. Matt had said he'd wanted to marry her. His intentions…her mind flashed to the velvet box she'd found under his bed what felt like years ago. The way he'd cared for Salome, all of his promises, he'd given up a perfectly good girlfriend for her. The kisses, the love – the way _she'd_ loved him –

Florian wasn't about to let her think about that one. He stood. "Of course he told her that. Makes him popular with the kiddies, hm?"

"Shut up, Florian!" Alex snapped at him.

"Excuse me?"

She folded her arms over her chest and looked away from him. "You heard me."

He crossed the space between them in two strides, grabbing her chin with a vice-like grip. "You listen to me, _Kätzchen, _nobody would ever want you. Don't you _dare_ get all high-and-mighty and start thinking that some stupid twenty-something bloke would. When he breaks your heart, don't come sobbing to me like the pathetic creature you are, because I won't have it."

She fiercely wrenched away from him. Matt didn't lie. He hadn't lied to her once. Not in all the time she'd known him. He was the most honest, caring man Alex knew. "He's thirty."

"What?"

"Matt's _thirty_. Not a twenty something. Also, Matt doesn't lie to me, unlike you," she snapped back. It was slowly dawning on her the horrible mistake she'd made. She looked over at Salome, her small form half hid behind the table, eyes wide as she watched the two of them. Alex swallowed and felt anger heating her chest, her face. Salome didn't deserve this. Salome deserved someone who actually loved her. She looked back at Florian, and then at the manila envelope sitting on the table. The pictures.

She realized she didn't care anymore. Those few pictures had made her more miserable than she'd been in a very long time. They'd dragged her back to a place she never wanted to go. No, Alex realized, it hadn't been the pictures. It'd been her own, stupid fears. Right now wasn't the time for fears, because there were things far more important than what the world might think of her. Salome needed a father. Alex _loved _Matt, and separating herself from him had been the hardest and most painful thing she'd ever done.

Drunk on a cocktail of adrenaline and anger, she took Salome's hand and took her upstairs.

"Get your things. Don't…don't worry about all of it, just pack your suitcase for the plane." Alex told her before running to her room and throwing things into her own suitcase. The box of skates went in among sweaters and shirts and cosmetics.

Florian stalked upstairs. "What, you think you're going to leave?"

"Yes, I am." She replied back, zipping up her suitcase.

He folded his arms, still acting amused as if she was a small, impudent child. "And where will you go?"

"Home." She carried the suitcase and pushed past him.

He was still at it, still wouldn't let go. His arms encircled her again, that false gentleness with the edge of acid. "You are home," he whispered in her ear.

No. She wouldn't let him worm his way into her thoughts again. She twisted out of his grasp and glared. "This has never been home. I'm going home to someone who actually loves Salome and I."

"Matt?" He laughed, but she could see the anger burning in his eyes.

"Yes," she huffed back. Matt had always loved her. He'd loved her so much that he'd _let her go _because he'd thought that was what she wanted, and she _hated _herself for not realizing that in the first place! She wasn't even sure if he wanted her back at this point, but she had to try. She hustled to the door, suitcase in hand, Florian on her heels as she called up the stairs for Salome to hurry.

He caught her arm, gripping it. "What about the pictures? Think for a minute, Alex… I can release those-"

"-Go ahead." She snapped back, nearly shaking by now. She pulled out of his grip. "I'm done with you. We're done. And the world can think whatever the hell it wants, but I am happiest with Matt, and Salome is happiest with Matt."

"She needs her father," he was still trying to reason with her, his tongue darting out like a snake's as he hovered there while Salome clunked down the stairs with a suitcase.

"Yes she does." Alex glanced past him to Salome, swallowing, then she looked back at him, remembering how Matt had pretended to be the Doctor with Salome, how he'd looked after her while she was sick and taught her to skate. "And I left the only one much good at that job back in Cardiff, so if you'll excuse me, we have to get back." She took Salome's hand and opened the door. The rain was pouring by now, a good storm. She wasn't even sure how she was going to catch a plane. She hadn't arranged for anything.

Florian took a step for her, "Alex-"

She let him go no further, walking into the rain, out of his reach. "Goodbye, Florian."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: (Feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Welcome back! It's good to see you all again! Come on in, but make sure you wipe your feet! I hope you guys had a lovely week. School started up for me, and it's been going mostly good besides having a rubbish writing prof. *sigh* Guess you can't win them all, hm? Oh well. Anyway, the fic's winding down. This isn't the last chapter - but we're getting there. You guys are going to love this one! ;) So sit down, have a cookie and a cup of tea, and enjoy this! I'll see you all next week, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out!

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37

**Catch You In The Rain**

Oh, well just brilliant. It was raining. Matt hadn't even thought to bring a coat, it was LA for crying out loud! Wasn't this the city of sunshine and beaches and girls in bikinis that were two sizes too small? He ran out onto the shining pavements, feeling the water beat down and soak his clothes and hair as he hailed a taxi. His mind was racing as he got into the yellow cab that pulled up.

The driver glanced back at him, "Where to?"

"Um…" Matt blinked, looking down at himself. He was dripping on the floor… he also realized he hadn't the faintest idea where Alex even lived. "I'm…not sure."

"There's a hotel down the street," the cabby offered unhelpfully. He was probably thinking about incompetent British tourists at this moment. Matt simply nodded, frowning as he racked his brain, trying to remember if Alex had even mentioned where she might be going.

He knew he'd needed to end up in LA. He also knew he hadn't the faintest clue where to go once he had gotten there. The rain beat down on the metal roof of the car, causing a pleasant din that cushioned his wayward thoughts. How would Alex respond? What would she say? How should he go about it with the box and the kneeling part? Could he convince her that he really truly would never leave her, never ever? Matt swallowed and watched the city pass by quickly through the window. He'd always been so passive, never before had he actually physically pursued anyone like this. He supposed- no he knew- Alex was just that special to him. He swallowed and thought again, trying to decipher fact from feeling. He hoped she would react well, but she'd seemed so distant, so broken, so- so- unlike herself that he really hadn't the faintest clue what she was going to do when he got down on bended knee. He had to prepare himself for rejection.

His thoughts were interrupted by the faint buzzing of his phone against his thigh. He blinked and fished it out of his pockets. His eyes widened when he saw Alex's caller ID, and answered immediately.

"Hey-"

"_Matt_."

_Alex._

His heart was in his mouth as he registered her voice, smoky and thick. She was outside somewhere, he could hear the pouring of the rain. Her voice was strained, stretched – like butter over too much bread. "Alex? What's wrong, darling, where are you?"

"_I need to tell you something-_"

"-Kingston, where are you?"

"-_Listen to me, Matt, please_-" she was fighting for words. "_The reason I left – it's not what you think- and…it's such a long story, and I just, I don't know where to begin." _

"Look, Kingston," Matt gulped, taking a deep breath. Her voice had his heart clenching all over again. "You don't have to explain anything to me just yet, just tell me where you are. What street are you on?"

"_What- why does that matter right now?" _

"Because I'm in LA, right now. Now what street are you on, love?" He urged gently.

There was a silence on the other end of the phone. He could almost see her processing it. Her wide-eyed shock, her mouth held slightly agape, the way her muscles would tense before it would dawn on her. "_Old Oak road, corner of Hall_," she murmured after a few moments.

Matt looked at the cabbie, "Can you take me to Old Oak Road, corner of Hall, please?" The cabbie nodded his understanding and Matt returned his attention to Alex. "Alright, I'm on my way, love – just hold on. We can explain everything to each other once I get there, I promise. I love you…"

There came a slight sob on the other end of the phone and Matt swore he heard his heart crack. There was a bit of a rustle and then Salome's voice. "_Hey, Matty… mum says she loves you back." _

Matt swallowed, "You two okay over there?"

"_Yeah." _

"Good. You watch her for me until I get there, hm?" He smiled into the phone through a small haze of tears that was clouding his vision.

"_Okay, bye…"_

"Bye, Salamander." Matt ended the call and pocketed his phone. He pressed his wrist to his mouth, fidgeting slightly as he leaned against the window. He wished that the traffic could move faster somehow. He wondered what on earth would possess Alex to run out in this weather with Salome – what was going on? Was she hurt? Ice flushed through his veins at the last thought and he quickly flung it aside. No, she couldn't be hurt...

Not his Kingston.

His fingers automatically sought the little box in his pocket and began rubbing it, the velvet outside soothing his thoughts to a dull lull as he pulled up to the street. He quickly paid the cab driver and rushed out of the car, looking around for Alex and Salome.

There they were, under a large elm tree. He dashed over through the rain. "Kingston!"

His heart was pounding in his chest as she looked up, her curls absolutely soaked, hanging wet and limp from her head, dripping down onto her sweatshirt and the grass below. Rain dripped from her nose and her eyes were wide with shock and surprise – and something else he couldn't pinpoint. Her face was flushed even as she shivered with cold. He thought she never looked more beautiful.

He rushed to her and soon enough, had his arms around her and was pressing quick kisses to her forehead, nose, and then her lips with fervent succession. "You're okay? What happened?"

Alex hit him on the chest, "You ridiculous, awful, horrible, stupid man! What on earth are you doing in LA? You're soaking wet!" She shot back her own responses to his questions, shouting above the roar of the rain.

"So are you!" he laughed, half delirious with his own excitement and fear. "Salome called me… told me you and Florian were having problems."

Alex's eyes widened further, if that was possible. She glanced down at Salome, who was watching the two with a mischievous grin on her face. "You didn't!"

"She did," Matt affirmed with another half-laugh. "Alex, what's going on?" He asked her, worry filling his eyes. He could nearly visibly see adrenaline fading from her face as she looked at him, searching his face, as if trying to discern something very, incredibly important. Her brow was pinched in concentration, her face swam for a few moments, and then she looked away.

"Florian was going to blackmail me," she murmured.

Matt blinked, "What?"

"He was going to blackmail me with pictures of you and I together…and…_God, Matt-" _she pressed a hand to her forehead, pushing back that heavy mass of sodden hair. "I'm so stupid – I was so scared and I wasn't thinking straight, he wouldn't let me think straight… I let him lie to me… and… I just…I can't begin to explain to you how frightened I was – how frightened I _am._ I was just so worried that if they- if the press found out how that would affect you and Salome…being with me…it's…it's a risk and I didn't want to put either of you through any of that…_" _

Matt stared at her in befuddlement for a few seconds. This incredible, fantastic, brilliant woman who cared so much about others, he couldn't even begin to fathom her! He pressed a finger under her chin, "Alex, look at me… I would never, ever be ashamed of you, ever – I've nothing to be ashamed of. You're a brilliant woman. You're beautiful and amazing, and sexy as hell, and I never want to be with anyone else. And we can fix this, we can get through this together if you let me help you. You don't have to handle the press alone. I've got your back. I promise you, I won't let you or Salome fall. Ever."

She watched him, blinking, her eyes filling with tears and her chin quivering under the touch of his fingertip. Matt was forgetting to breath, all of that had tumbled out in a rush and he waited for her answer. She watched him, still blinking, before one tear finally slipped down her cheek and mingled with the rain. Her response came out in a low whisper that was almost lost in the beating of the rainfall against the pavement.

"I trust you."

Matt's breath caught in his throat and he then let it out in a deep rush. She _trusted_ him. Without thinking, his fingers went to the box in his pocket and he found himself kneeling on the muddy grass.

"Not…not long ago… you found this-" he pressed the box into her hand as she stared down at him as if she couldn't trust her eyes. "You found this under my bed." He swallowed. "I told you that I wanted to give it to the woman I was going to marry." He took it, looking down at the box and opening it. "Truth is, that's you, Alex Kingston. Being apart from you made me realize that." He then looked up at her and saw her chewing on her lip, biting back another sob. His throat was dry, his tongue felt thick. His eyes were hot and wet. His heart was catching in his chest so hard it hurt. So this was what being in love felt like. "Alex Kingston, Would you marry me for always?"

A sniffle reverberated in his ears, and slowly, a grin spread across her face and she nodded through her tears. "Yes."

He grinned and stood, nearly tripping over his feet in his haste as he threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly, kissing her temple as her head came to a rest on his chest and he felt her back shudder with a sob. "Shh, I've got you…" he murmured into her ear. Gosh, they were doing this all backwards, weren't they? He shook his head and kissed her wet curls again before glancing down at Salome, who was simply grinning stupidly up at the two of them and hugging a very soaked stuffed elephant tight against her chest. Matt let go of Alex with one arm and grinned to her, ruffling her brown curls. "C'mere you minx."

Salome giggled and buried herself in between Matt and Alex, hugging them both best she could. They stayed like that for a few moments until Alex murmured, "Matt…we're soaking wet and you just proposed to me in the rain and we haven't got any of our things or a plane ticket home…and Florian's probably going to release the pictures tomorrow."

Matt chuckled softly and shook his head. "Never you mind. We'll get some tickets home…let's dry you off. There's a house waiting for you back in Cardiff." He winked at her, chuckling. "We'll worry about the world tomorrow, hm?"

Alex nodded, sniffling. "Okay." Slowly, she disentangled from his arms and Matt bent to grab their luggage. He took Salome's hand in one and then walked with Alex in the rain to a hotel to get a cuppa, a decent meal, and a couple of good, old-fashioned, fluffy towels.

A few hours later, a much dryer group of three were crowded onto a plane bound for the Cardiff airport. Salome was fast asleep on Matt's shoulder, curled up with her dried-off elephant. The suitcases were packed safely above their heads, and Alex was sipping on some tea and reading a book. Her eyes were drooping a bit, and Matt smiled fondly at her, running his fingers gently through her curls. When she nodded off, he took the book from her and set it aside. Then, he carefully disentangled the cup of tea from her fingers and opened a tray, sitting it safely in a cup-holder. He shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around her, then pulled her close and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

She stirred in her sleep, murmuring something, and he simply continued to stroke her hair soothingly, allowing her to sleep on his shoulder. She looked so peaceful, so at ease… so wonderfully happy. Matt smiled and pressed his cheek to her head, his eyes closing. The world could wait. Right now, he had his girls right where they belonged – safely tucked into his arms. He'd promised them forever, and forever, they would have.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: (for good measure) **Again, this fic was not intended to slander anybody and I don't pretend to know anything about the people I'm writing about. I basically just took them as people and turned them into characters. This is just my imagination on how I imagine them to be. A special disclaimer for Florian Haertel - he's probably not as big of a jerk as I painted him, it just worked that way for the plot. Everything about Alex's past is taken from things I've gleaned out of research from a desire to stay as true to her person as I possibly could, however what went down between her and Florian and her feelings about it are from my imagination. Please, nobody take this as truth. You can take it as head-canon, but it's just a teenage girl's idea of how it could've gone down.

**A/N: (feel free to skip my useless rambling) **Here we are at last, at the final chapter. I'm really going to miss writing this fic, updating, and seeing you guys every week. I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself because this fic has been going on for so long! I'm loathe to see it end, but it's been a good run and I've enjoyed every minute of it. All things must come to an end - thankfully this one comes to a happy one. Again, I want to thank you all for the wonderful support I received while writing this, I'm so amazed how much everyone has liked this because it's a bit of a black sheep in the Mattex fandom because there's no smut. I really have to hand it to you guys for being such amazing readers, you guys kept me writing. I'll still be around, writing Doctor Who fanfiction and poking River to no end if you guys want to stick around for that. A new fic ought to be started within a month or two. ;)

Anyway, come on in, have a cup of tea, sit down on those purple, comfy, spinny chairs, and have a cookie! Please enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out and give me a hug. It's been fun, guys. We had the best of times - the very best. I'll miss you!

- Indigo X

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38

**For Always**

When they arrived home in Cardiff it was all over the news, plastered on the walls, and pasted on the front of all of the celebrity magazines. Honestly, Alex was too drained to care. When they got out of the plane, the press was there to shout questions at them. But Matt was there too. He shielded Alex and Salome from prying eyes with his body, firm fingers pushing away insistent microphones. Matt kept them safe. She allowed herself to be led through the airport by him, back home to the house. He led the two of them gently up the walk and into that little blue place on the corner of the street, with the homely rosebushes she loved so much. Karen and Arthur had been there, exactly how she'd left them. But this time, they were glued to the television.

Matt walked over and silently flipped it off. Karen's eyes were wide as she looked at Alex. She ran over and hugged her tightly. "Oh my gosh, are you okay? Matt told me…"

Arthur hovered uncertainly, looking for an opening. Finally Karen let go and he immediately smothered Alex in a fatherly hug. "We'll get this sorted."

Alex smiled and kissed his cheek tiredly, "Thanks," she murmured. "Matt and I are engaged, by the way." She held up her left hand, sporting the ring, and gave the two of them a wan smile.

Karen squealed and hugged her again, "Alex, that's brilliant! When's the wedding? Can I be the maid of honor?"

"Of course you are, silly, and Arthur's the best man." Matt replied, chuckling.

"I'd better be," Arthur chuckled.

"Right, well, as much as I'd like to break out the champagne and all…that'll have to be done later, I'm afraid," Alex said with a weak chuckle. "Sleep," she demanded.

Arthur nodded, "Right, yeah, sleep."

The three of them shooed Alex upstairs. Her mind was foggy, and everything was a bit of a haze. She knew that the media knew. They'd been swarmed with reporters the minute they'd stepped off the airplane, it seemed. Right now, though, she just wanted some sleep. She slipped beneath her warm comforter and took a deep breath, a smile on her face. Somehow, she just wasn't as concerned with all of this as she thought she was going to be. It was all slightly anti-climactic, almost. She knew it would be difficult, but Matt was there. He was like her protective shield. She trusted him to keep her and Salome safe.

The next day came, and Matt announced he was taking her and Salome to the London Flower Market. It was a long and enjoyable ride. Honestly, Alex liked car trips. She was almost sad when it was over. Matt got out and leashed Toby, and the enthusiastic golden retriever all but attacked Alex with licks and doggie-kisses. She giggled and crouched, hugging the dog and ruffling his fur and ears happily as he stared up at her with huge, adoring, chocolate-brown eyes.

Matt held out the leash, "Would you like to take him? I'll take that one." He jerked his head toward Salome with fond smile.

Alex grinned and nodded, "Sure." She took Toby's leash firmly in one hand, and then laced her fingers with Matt's. She took a deep breath. This would be the first time they'd be going out in public as a couple. Matt took Salome's hand, and he looked at Alex.

"Ready?" he asked with a slight quirk of a smile.

Alex swallowed. She trusted him. Her fingers squeezed his, and he squeezed back. She nodded, "Ready."

And with that, the four of them walked the London Flower Market. Of course, there were the reporters, but Alex resolved not to bother with them. She was determined to have a good time, no matter what questions were asked, or the snide comments that were made, or the looks that were given. Alex was not about to give anybody the satisfaction of upsetting her. She was here with her fiancée, and the world would just have to accept that.

Matt bought a bouquet of peonies, all multi-colored. They burst like fireworks from the green paper wrapping as he handed it to her, pressing an unabashed kiss on her lips. Alex grinned brightly. "They're beautiful."

"I know," he boasted, taking a bright red peony and tucking it behind her hair. "I plan on doting on you both all I like, today." He grinned at them both. Salome grinned back from where she was greedily sucking on a flavored honey packet. She had three others in her hands.

Alex shook her head disparagingly."You're going to spoil us."

"I don't care," he grinned widely and kissed her again.

Salome ran over to a stand that was selling all sorts of critters. One happened to be a cricket. "Matty! Look!" She looked at Alex, "Can we get him, mum?"

"What happened to your last cricket?"

Her face fell a bit, "Matt the Cricket the second died."

"What happened to Matt the Cricket?" Matt blinked.

"Alex the cricket ate him."

Alex sputtered for a few minutes, "You didn't tell me you had that many crickets!"

"Can we get this one, just one more, please?" She begged, bouncing up and down. "I promise he won't die!"

Alex sighed, "I _suppose." _She went and paid for the cricket, and the stand-owner handed the little box to Salome.

Matt grinned, "How about you name it Matt the Cricket the Second the First?"

"Why not just name it Matt the Cricket the third?" Alex pointed out, laughing.

"Because Matt the Cricket the Second the First is so much funner to say!" Matt replied. "Isn't it, Salamander of Kingston?"

Salome nodded seriously, "Yes, Matty."

Alex rolled her eyes, "I give up on you two."

"We love you, mum," Salome grinned and hugged her tightly, careful not to squish the box that held Matt the Cricket the Second the First.

"So whatever happened to Alex the Cricket?" Matt asked.

"Oh, she's still there," Salome shrugged. "Hopefully Alex the Cricket and Matt the Cricket the Second the First will fall in love and make babies – and then I'll have _lots_ of crickets."

Alex blinked at her for a moment and then looked at Matt. Matt looked at Alex. After a few minutes, they both realized that they mutually found the situation ridiculous and burst out laughing.

"I hope they do too, darling!" Alex replied between giggles, ruffling her daughter's hair affectionately.

Salome rolled her eyes at the two of them in the exact same way Alex had rolled her eyes at her and Matt not a few moments earlier. "_Adults_."

They passed a bagel stand, and Matt bought each of them one: cinnamon raisin for him, blueberry for Alex, and plain for Salome. They got little packets of cream cheese and some fruit smoothies, and then took their seats in front of a few buskers to enjoy the show. Alex smiled as she kissed Matt again, proudly, in public, not caring who was watching. Right now, the only important thing was that she was completely whole again. She had Matt, she had her daughter, and she had Toby. Sure, it'd been hard getting here. She'd bumped her head a few times along the way, but it had been worth it. She had a man who loved her now, who loved her daughter, and that, to Alex, was priceless. Not even Florian could ruin her day now. Sure, she'd been through a lot of men. None of them had stayed … none of them except for one.

Alex Kingston bit into her bagel, listening to the strains of guitars wafting above the hubbub of the London Flower Market, and rested in the fact that Matt Smith was For Always.

* * *

_Fin._


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